Latest news with #interpersonal
Yahoo
11 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Says a Neighbor Walked into Her Home Uninvited to Ask a Question: "I Felt Really Uncomfortable"
A woman says she felt 'really uncomfortable' after a neighbor walked into her home without being invited She explained that while her 12-year-old son answered the door and called out to let her know that the neighbor was there, no actual adult had invited the other woman inside The woman detailed her experience on a popular community site, where a number of people said they thought she was overreactingA woman says that a neighbor entered her home without being invited in by an adult, and she's wondering if she's 'unreasonable' to 'find this rude.' The woman detailed her story in a forum on the U.K.-based community site a place where women can seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman says that her new neighbor has a son who her own 12-year-old son plays with in a communal garden area outside their homes. She says that recently, the other mom — whom she calls 'Nadia' — came by 'to ask me something.' The woman explains that her son was the one who opened the door for Nadia, and that he then called out to let her know Nadia was there. 'By the time I'd got to the hallway, she was inside my home, almost in my lounge!' the original poster (OP) says, adding, 'She entered my home without being invited, and I felt really uncomfortable, as I've only met her once before, shortly after they moved in a few weeks ago.' The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! 'Am I being unreasonable to find this rude?' she asks at the end of her post, before asking for 'advice' on 'how to tackle this.' A number of commenters said that they thought the OP was overreacting, and some even said that her instinct in the situation — aka, leaving a neighbor out on her doorstep — would have been the ruder scenario. 'You might consider that it would have been rude of your son to leave the mother of a playmate outside as though she were an unwanted door-to-door salesman,' one person said. 'I don't think that's rude,' said someone else, adding, 'If a child you know opens the door, you go in and shut the door behind you so the child is not hanging around the open doorway.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Someone else said, 'Meh. It's not as if she opened the door herself and walked in. Your son opened the door. I mean, you could argue that it's a teensy bit cheeky, but not to the point that you need to 'tackle' it.' Others said that while they did find Nadia's behavior a bit forward, they also wouldn't bother doing anything about it. 'Personally, yes, if I was 'Nadia', I would have waited for an adult to come to the door and invite me in. However, if I was the OP I would absolutely not tackle Nadia (what the hell would you even say to her!) and I certainly wouldn't be steaming mad about the whole thing." Read the original article on People
Yahoo
23-05-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
6 Signs of 'White Knight Syndrome'—Plus, How To Respond, According to a Psychologist
Heroes star in fairy tales and action movies, and it's natural to aspire to be one. However, when these aspirations go too far, they can develop into something called "white knight syndrome." While white knight syndrome is not a diagnosable mental health condition, it can still wreak havoc on interpersonal "hero" may not seem so appealing when you frame it like that. Understanding the signs of white knight syndrome in someone you know—and how to respond—can save you from unnecessary heartache in the workplace, your family or the dating scene. Here's what psychologists want you to Something Feels a Little Off, Make Sure You're Watching Out for These 40 Relationship Red Flags It's essentially behaviors and personality transformations used to describe someone with a compulsive need to "fix" or "save" someone, explains , a psychologist, psychoanalyst and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor."At times, these behaviors come at the expense of the fixer, AKA the 'white knight,'" Dr. Hormats tells Parade. "It has also been called 'saviorism,' 'the messiah complex,' 'the damsel in distress complex,' 'heroism' and 'white knight narcissism.'" Dr. Hormats says people often don't feel "pure love" when a white knight gives them something."Rather than feeling supported by the knight's giving, you feel controlled, managed or manipulated," she explains. "In the case of a white knight, their saviorism is based on a fantasy of getting something in return. It's usually to alleviate some form of emptiness from years past: abandonment wounds [and] parentification."Related: The "gift" or "favors" aren't about making you feel good when dealing with a white knight."It's more about the giver," Dr. Hormats points out. "For example, you may receive a gift you never asked for, unsolicited advice or something you never wanted or needed. The nature of the gift itself is misattuned to who you are and what you need in the moment." White knights act like they're doing you favors, but you don't feel seen at all."You feel like you don't have much agency," she reveals. "Sometimes, you feel like you don't even exist. Your emotions don't matter. They give whether you ask for it or not."Related: Dr. Hormats says that the white knight's acts of giving don't bring you closer as a couple, colleagues or friends. "In fact, knights may unconsciously use giving as a way to create distance and push away their partners," she explains. "In this way, they may be unconsciously reenacting their early abandonment wounds or attachment traumas with early caregivers. By making you feel controlled or smothered, you may be unconsciously encouraged to pull away." White knight syndrome is a form of co-dependency."You become psychologically and neurologically dependent on the giver," warns Dr. Hormats. "Addictive neurological systems typically work based on the law of diminishing marginal returns. This means that the early acts of giving may have left you feeling excited, attended to and cared for (think: dopamine, adrenaline, cortisol)."Over time, she says you can become reliant on the "high" of the person's caretaking and rescuing."This is one sign that you may be taking on the role of the 'damsel in distress' who needs more and more rescuing in order to feel secure in the relationship," Dr. Hormats shares. "You may also develop or have a love addiction. Healthier patterns of relationship involve an overall balance of give-and-take. They stimulate neurotransmitters like serotonin and oxytocin." Dr. Hormats warns that relationships with white knights can get worse over time."As time ensues, you may have entirely abandoned your own feelings," Dr. Hormats says. "You lose sight of your own needs or question your ability to meet them because you become so dependent on the rescuer. You feel especially helpless or broken and question your sense of self and your reality. You may even develop depression or thoughts of suicide because your level of self-doubt is so intense."Related: Clarity can help you step into your power—seek it out."Whenever the white knight tries to encroach on your ability to take care of yourself, ask them if that is their intention," Dr. Hormats shares. "Ask them about their deeper motivation in the behaviors they are demonstrating for you. Get underneath the 'why' of the rescuing behaviors."Related: Dr. Hormats shares that communicating and setting boundaries early and often is critical, especially if they're crossed."White knights are often not aware of the degree to which they may be crossing personal or professional boundaries by overextending themselves in your space," she instance, Dr. Hormats is also an executive coach who regularly sees employees who stay late or pick up everyone else's work off-hours (often before they even know they've been assigned to something)."It's important to explain what about that behavior undermines the health of the team," Dr. Hormats instance, she shares that you might say, 'When you do my job before I've had a chance to start the assignment, it makes me feel like you want to manage and control the tasks I'm responsible for. I would appreciate it if you would stick to the work that you are assigned and allow me to do my job on my own timeframe.'Related: Your feelings matter."If a white knight is trying to encroach on your boundaries and makes you feel like you are weak, incapable, helpless or dependent, you might consider naming what is happening for you based on their behavior," Dr. Hormats suggests trying to discuss the situation, behavior and the impact it is having on instance, you might tell a white knight that you feel frustrated when they pick up takeout for dinner even though you've decided you want to eat more home-cooked meals. It makes you feel like they aren't supporting your goals to improve your health and the environment. Up Next:Dr. Catherine Hormats, Psy.D., a psychologist, psychoanalyst and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor
