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This week on "Sunday Morning" (July 20)
The Emmy Award-winning "CBS News Sunday Morning" is broadcast on CBS Sundays beginning at 9:00 a.m. ET. "Sunday Morning" also streams on the CBS News app beginning at 11:00 a.m. ET. (Download it here.) Hosted by Jane Pauley COVER STORY: The science of redesigning your personalityWriter Olga Khazan was unhappy with the person she was – anxious, obsessed with work, unable to have fun, and constantly worried about things. And when therapy, medications and self-care failed to work for her, Khazan decided a more radical approach was needed: she vowed to redesign her personality. Khazan talks with "Sunday Morning" correspondent Susan Spencer about the surprising steps she took to live outside her comfort zone – a journey she documented in her new book, "Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change." Spencer also talks with University of Kentucky professor Shannon Sauer-Zavala about how it's possible to change seemingly intractable personality traits. READ AN EXCERPT: "Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change"Atlantic staff writer Olga Khazan, a lifelong introvert, set out to change aspects of her personality she didn't like by forcing herself outside of her comfort zone. How about trying improv comedy? For more info: "Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change" by Olga Khazan (S&S/Simon Element), in Hardcover, eBook and Audio formats, available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Khazan, The AtlanticShannon Sauer-Zavala, associate professor, Department of Psychology, University of KentuckyDC Arts Center ALMANAC: July 20"Sunday Morning" looks back at historical events on this date. WORLD: Life within Naples' volcanic "red zone"There has been increasing volcanic activity around Naples, Italy (with around two thousand earthquakes in February alone). Just 30 miles west of Mount Vesuvius lies Campi Flegrei, a volcanic caldera that stretches for 125 miles underneath urban areas, where half a million people now live. Correspondent Seth Doane talks with scientists monitoring this activity. For more info: National Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology, Italy U.S.: A Civil War landmark in downtown little-known landmark in Washington, D.C., is an inconspicuous building that was the site of a revolutionary effort at the end of the Civil War – one that changed the military ever since – where Clara Barton worked to locate thousands of soldiers missing or dead. Correspondent Falie Salie visits the Clara Barton Missing Soldiers Office Museum. For more info: Clara Barton Missing Soldiers Office Museum, Washington, of Congress Manuscript Reading RoomPhotos and footage courtesy of OLBN and Coronation Media/NMCWM BOOKS: Restaurateur Keith McNally on why he regrets "almost everything"British-born restaurateur Keith McNally opened such popular New York City institutions as the Odeon, Balthazar and Pastis. But a 2016 stroke, which caused immobility and affected his speech, led to a suicide attempt two years later. It also led him to take to social media, and pen an irreverent memoir, "I Regret Almost Everything." He talks with correspondent Mo Rocca about overcoming public embarrassment about his condition, and the importance of having a hamburger on the menu. READ AN EXCERPT: "I Regret Almost Everything: A Memoir" by Keith McNally For more info: "I Regret Almost Everything: A Memoir" by Keith McNally (Simon & Schuster), in Hardcover, eBook and Audio formats, available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and McNally on InstagramBalthazar, New YorkThe Odeon, New YorkPastis, New YorkMinetta Tavern, New YorkMorandi, New York PASSAGE: In memoriam"Sunday Morning" remembers some of the notable figures who left us this week. TV: Bridget Everett on how she ended up as "Somebody, Somewhere"Actress and cabaret star Bridget Everett put her hometown of Manhattan, Kansas, on the map with "Somebody, Somewhere." Everett was a writer, producer and lead actor in the Peabody Award-winning HBO series about a Midwestern woman returning home and working through grief. Correspondent Luke Burbank visited Everett in Manhattan, to talk about her surreal journey, and about a show whose characters can be hopeless and hopeful in the same moment. For more info: Somewhere" (HBO/Max)Thanks to Joe's Pub, New York City, and The Chef, Manhattan, Kansas HARTMAN: The Carousel of HappinessWhile under fire during the height of the Vietnam War, Marine Corporal Scott Harrison got through those dark days thanks in no small part to a vision he had, of a carousel in a mountain meadow. Years later, he bought a broken-down carousel, and made his vision a reality. Today, in Nederland, Colorado, his non-profit Carousel of Happiness is on a mission to spread joy. Correspondent Steve Hartman reports. For more info: The Carousel of Happiness, Nederland, Colo. TV: What shocked "Matlock" star Kathy Bates?Academy Award-winning actress Kathy Bates, who sat down with Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz to talk about some of her most memorable stage and screen roles, from "Misery" to "Matlock," learned a startling fact about her relationship with her mother the night she won the Oscar. (Originally broadcast Oct. 6, 2024.) For more info: "Matlock" on CBS and Paramount+ THESE UNITED STATES: Yellowstone National ParkCorrespondent Conor Knighton reflects on the American treasure whose preservation as our first national park inspired similar conservation efforts around the globe. For more info: Yellowstone National Park (National Park Service) MUSIC: Conductor Herbert Blomstedt, a man who has cheated timeHerbert Blomstedt is still conducting major symphony orchestras around the world at the age of 98. And as correspondent Martha Teichner reports, he plans to continue doing so past 100 because, he says, "I have gifts I have to live up to." For more info: Herbert Blomstedt, New York Philharmonic Footage courtesy of: Boston Symphony Photos courtesy of: Royal Stockholm Philharmonic OrchestraSveriges Radio ©Chicago Symphony Orchestra/Todd Rosenberg Photography COMMENTARY: Former Obama speechwriter David Litt on finding neutral ground"Common ground" may be increasingly difficult to find in a time when everything seems political. Instead, David Litt, a former speechwriter for President Barack Obama, suggests finding "neutral ground" with others – a place to spend time together focused on something other than our differences. Surfing, he found, is a good option. For more info: "It's Only Drowning: A True Story of Learning to Surf and the Search for Common Ground" by David Litt (Gallery Books), in Hardcover, eBook and Audio formats, available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and CALENDAR: Week of July 21 Photo: Red Ants Pants Music Festival: Thanks to Gloria Goñi NATURE: TBD WEB EXCLUSIVES: FROM THE ARCHIVES: Songwriters Alan and Marilyn Bergman (YouTube Video)Alan Bergman, part of the songwriting team of Alan and Marilyn Bergman (who created Oscar-winning lyrics for "The Thomas Crown Affair," "The Way We Were," and "Yentl"), died Thursday, July 17, 2025, at age 99. In this "Sunday Morning" profile that originally aired March 7, 2010, the Bergmans talked with correspondent Nancy Giles about writing for Barbra Streisand; and what a good collaboration and a good marriage have in common. FROM THE ARCHIVES: Martin Cruz Smith on writing mysteries (Video)Martin Cruz Smith, author of such bestsellers as "Gorky Park" and "Polar Star," died on July 11, 2025, at age 82. In this "Sunday Morning" profile that aired Oct. 20, 2002, Smith talked with correspondent Anthony Mason about how he continued writing mysteries featuring Moscow detective Arkady Renko, despite being blacklisted by the Soviet Union. He also discussed the "boring" aspects of writing, and the research he conducted in Japan for his novel "December 6," set in Tokyo on the eve of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Notable Deaths MARATHON: Fun 'n' Games (YouTube Video)Enjoy these classic "Sunday Morning" features about gaming, from board and tile games, to bizarre new games that might not catch on. MARATHON: Pieces of history (YouTube Video)In this compilation, "CBS Sunday Morning" delves into the pages of history, from the fall of Saigon to the reconstruction of the Notre Dame Cathedral. The Emmy Award-winning "CBS News Sunday Morning" is broadcast on CBS Sundays beginning at 9:00 a.m. ET. Executive producer is Rand Morrison. DVR Alert! Find out when "Sunday Morning" airs in your city "Sunday Morning" also streams on the CBS News app beginning at 11:00 a.m. ET. (Download it here.) Full episodes of "Sunday Morning" are now available to watch on demand on and Paramount+, including via Apple TV, Android TV, Roku, Chromecast, Amazon FireTV/FireTV stick and Xbox. Follow us on Twitter/X; Facebook; Instagram; YouTube; TikTok; Bluesky; and at You can also download the free "Sunday Morning" audio podcast at iTunes and at Now you'll never miss the trumpet! Would you go on a retirement cruise? Wall Street Journal reports Trump sent "bawdy" birthday letter to Epstein, Trump threatens to sue Medical expert on Trump's chronic venous insufficiency diagnosis Solve the daily Crossword
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9 Phrases That Signal Someone Has a 'Victim Mindset,' According to Psychologists
9 Phrases That Signal Someone Has a 'Victim Mindset,' According to Psychologists originally appeared on Parade. We all have those moments where we look up to the sky and think, 'Why me?' Life is tough and there are times when it feels like everyone and everything is conspiring against us and our happiness. There are times when things are all out of your control and bad things keep happening, which can make you feel like the universe is attacking you, kicking you while you're down. But there are other times when you might feel like this, and really, it's just a product of your victim example, maybe you had a terrible day at work and then got home to find out your dog tore up your couch. Or maybe you get to a big event, find out it was canceled last-minute, and then your car gets towed. But you were the one who let your untrained dog have free rein of your apartment. And you chose to park in a handicap spot when you had no business being there. These are instances where, if you feel like shaking your fist at the sky, maybe you should look within. Why do you feel like everyone's to blame for your misfortunes, and not your own actions? Granted, we all have moments where we might have been the reason for our poor fortune, yet we want to blame the world. That doesn't necessarily mean you have a victim mentality. But, if you do this all of the time to the point where it's grating on your relationships, this could be you. We spoke to Dr. Kathy McMahon, Psy.D—a clinical psychologist, founder of Couples Therapy Inc. and a Certified Gottman Method Therapist—and Dr. Kim Sage, PsyD, MA—a licensed clinical psychologist in California with a large social media social media presence—to find out nine phrases that signal someone has a victim mindset to better understand what this mentality means. Plus, they share what to do if you live your life with a victim mentality—as well as what to do if someone you know has What Is a 'Victim Mindset' or 'Victim Mentality'? 'A victim mentality is the belief that life happens to you and that you have little or no power to change it,' Dr. McMahon tells Parade. 'It often forms after real hurt, but becomes a limiting story. In relationships, it shows up as constant blame, emotional withdrawal and a refusal to take accountability. Over time, it erodes intimacy and trust.'Dr. Sage shares that those who have a victim mindset often have an 'external locus of control, rather than an internal locus of control.' Locus of control is a psychological theory or term that refers to how much someone believes they have control over their own lives, behavior, fate, etc. Someone with an internal locus of control 'sees themselves more as architects of their own lives,' she says, while those with a victim mindset are the opposite. 'People who move through the world with an external locus of control believe that everything that happens to them is either the result of fate, luck, the mercy or impact of other people,' she explains. 'In other words, all that happens to them is outside of their control.'Dr. Sage says that the 'central core' of their identity is 'organized around experiencing the world as a victim.' They often feel like the "world is always out to get them" or that they don't need to take "any responsibility for what happens to them in life." They believe the latter because they believe that life is happening to them, she shares. She adds that it's important to note this isn't the case for everything; in situations of harm, abuse or other instances, victims absolutely exist. A victim mindset is speaking specifically to moments when we might have impacted things, yet always blame it on an outside force.'Victimhood is real,' Dr. McMahon clarifies. 'But victim mentality is a story people keep telling themselves long after the danger has passed.'Related: How does someone develop a victim mentality? Both psychologists share that a victim mindset can develop in childhood, with Dr. McMahon sharing that it 'usually… starts… through chronic criticism, neglect or emotional manipulation.'She shares that this mentality can grow in some people because they watched ''helplessness' used as a survival strategy' as a child. As an example, she shares that maybe a kid sees an older sibling cry to get out of something, showing the child that 'The tears end the conflict. No one stays mad at the helpless one.''The younger sibling watches and learns: showing vulnerability is protection,' she says. 'Years later, they fall apart in the face of feedback, not to deceive, but because 'exposing their neck' causes people to soften or back off.'Dr. Sage shares that for others, a victim mentality can be 'a symptom, result or in response to experiencing trauma, in which being a real victim and having a victim mindset are not the same thing.' She does note that not all people with a victim mindset experienced trauma, and not all those who have been traumatized have a victim mindset. So, for those this does apply to, a victim mindset might be a 'remnant of the still sounded and unhealed parts' of someone experienced a trauma, doesn't heal and then continues to experience situations that feel out of their control, then they're more likely to get stuck in a victim mindset, Dr. Sage shares. They might develop a 'learned helplessness' in response to all this, which is when someone comes to believe there's 'nothing they can do to change or control, or escape a negative situation. So they don't even try, or stop trying even when change or escape might be possible.''It's not always conscious,' Dr. McMahon shares. 'But there's almost always a payoff—sympathy, lowered expectations or a way to avoid blame.'Related: Are there personality disorders that make you more likely to have one? Anyone can have a victim mindset as a standalone trait, Dr. Sage shares. With that said, Dr. McMahon does say that a victim mentality 'can be more common in people with personality disorders like borderline (BPD) or narcissistic traits.' Dr. Sage also shares that people with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) are more likely to have this mindset, along with people who have PTSD or C-PTSD. But again, anyone can have it.'It also shows up in folks with anxiety, depression, or no diagnosis at all,' Dr. McMahon shares. 'You don't need a disorder to feel powerless. You just have to stop believing you have 9 'Victim Mindset' Phrases, According to Psychologists 1. "Everyone's always against me." For all of these phrases, Dr. McMahon tells Parade to, 'Listen closely—not just to the words, but to what's riding underneath.' Because these phrases mean more than the person saying them might be willing to admit. There can be manipulation tactics at place or a subconscious plea for this phrase, someone with a victim mindset thinks that if everyone is against them, it's not their fault and everyone else is in the shares that if you hear this from someone, your line of thinking should be logical; 'If everyone's the problem… it might not be everyone,' she says.'This phrase draws a line in the sand,' she continues. 'It makes you the sole innocent and the world the aggressor.' 2. "No one ever listens to me." This phrase is often said after someone does try to listen to the person with a victim mentality. 'It dismisses the efforts of others and preemptively shuts down dialogue,' Dr. McMahon says. 'Sympathy-seeking in a cloak of defeat.'Dr. Sage brings up another variation of this phrase: 'No one ever understands what I go through or what I have to deal with!" This ultimately shares the same sentiment. And as Dr. McMahon says, this is a play for sympathy when they know that they might be in the wrong or that the issue isn't that they aren't being heard, but rather that they aren't getting their way. 3. "Why do bad things only happen to me?" While victims do exist (of course), someone with a victim mentality never takes accountability and everything bad is always because of an outside force or entity. So it makes sense that they'd share the sentiment that bad things only happen to them, Dr. Sage phrase that falls under this category is, "I just have bad luck. Life hates me," she adds. 4. "I guess I'm just the bad guy then." A sentence like this one is 'a guilt trip dressed up as humility,' Dr. McMahon says. If someone says this, they're pretending to be the bigger person, that they're 'falling on the knife' in this argument to gain sympathy and guilt-trip you.'This one corners the other person,' she explains. And as the person on the other end of the conversation, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't in their mind. 'If they challenge you, they're cruel. If they comfort you, they're complicit.' 5. "I don't see how any of this is my fault in any way!" Dr. Sage shares this phrase, which is yet another great example of someone with a victim mindset shirking blame because they're never in the wrong. Always just a 6. "It doesn't matter what I do, nothing changes." A phrase like this is basically just 'learned helplessness with a side of despair,' Dr. McMahon says. Again, it's feigning this attitude of 'well, there's no point in even trying because it's going to go horribly.' When really it's just a way to shirk responsibility. Another similar sentiment Dr. Sage points out is, 'Why should I even bother trying to change anything when it's not going to work out?" They want that reassurance that this isn't true.'A phrase that feels like grief, but often functions as refusal,' Dr. McMahon explains. 'It trades agency for resignation.' 7. "There's nothing I can do to change my outcomes in life." Since part of a victim mindset is this idea that life happens to you, and that you have no way to change its course, this phrase is all too familiar for people with this mentality. Because, in a world where you are not the purveyor of your own fate or misfortunes, how can you change anything about it? 8. "You always twist things to make me look bad." Another phrase that 'turns accountability into attack,' according to Dr. McMahon, it puts all the blame on someone else and makes the person with the victim mentality look like they're unfairly treated at every turn. If you broach any topic that you have a grievance with or that you know will result in this phrase, then you're just going to stop bringing things up. Which ultimately works for them.'This one makes it dangerous to bring anything up,' she says. 'It's the emotional equivalent of a trap door.' 9. "I try so hard, and still get blamed." 'Effort isn't the same as impact—but this one pretends it is,' Dr. McMahon shares. This phrase makes it seem like this person has really done everything in their power to make things right, but they just never get recognition for it. The real translation of this sentence?'The underlying belief: 'If I mean well, I shouldn't have to change,'' she explains. 'This phrase uses effort as a shield.' What To Do if You Have a Victim Mindset The first step to solving many issues, including this one, is identifying them and going from there.'Notice the story you're telling yourself—and ask who wrote it,' Dr. McMahon shares. 'Start small. Interrupt the spiral. Name the payoff. Then begin to reclaim your authorship.' She shares that this can be as simple as telling yourself, 'Even if I didn't cause this, I still get to choose my next move.'Dr. Sage says that it's also important to 'recognize, admit, honor and ask yourself if you may be over-identifying with the wounded parts of yourself.' She then says to ask yourself how this impacts your life. "What does it do for you?" she says. "What does it not do for you? How might it be holding you back from being a more empowered person?'Of course, this can all be more effective if you see a therapist.'Working with a narrative or emotionally focused therapist can help you shift that story,' Dr. McMahon adds. Dr. Sage also suggests professional help and therapy, along with 'psychoeducation through books, videos, podcasts and group therapy' as good ways to get yourself help. Cultivating tools of self-awareness as well as self-compassion and accountability, are key, she What Can You Do if Someone You Know Has a Victim Mindset? In the moment, Dr. McMahon shares not to 'take the bait' when you hear phrases like the ones above.''Don't defend, fix or disappear,' she explains. 'Set a boundary with compassion.'How does this look? Dr. McMahon says you can try saying, 'I believe your pain is real. But I can't play the villain in your story.'To have a victim, there has to be a 'villain.' And she says not to play into Sage also says to 'notice how being around this person and their victim mindset affects you.' If you're constantly stressed, anxious, helpless or angry after dealing with them, these are 'red flags' that you need to start setting boundaries with them (how much time you spend with them, what you talk to them about, etc.). 'A victim mindset can't thrive without someone else cast as the enemy,' Dr. McMahon says about detaching yourself from them. 'Refuse the role.'You should also keep in mind that it's 'not your responsibility to get them to change or to manage their unhappy victim mindset,' Dr. Sage says. If you have a 'safe enough relationship' with this person, then you can urge them to get professional help and support, she explains. Dr. McMahon calls this the "turning point," when one partner says, "I love you—but not like this. If we're going to write a better story, we both have to put down the old script."'That's where the real healing begins,' she says. 'Not in blame, not in bargaining, but in the quiet courage to ask: Who would I be without this story? And what kind of relationship could we have if we both stopped protecting ourselves with pain?'Up Next:Sources: Dr. Kathy McMahon, Psy.D is a clinical psychologist and founder of Couples Therapy Inc. She's also a sex therapist and Certified Gottman Method Therapist. Dr. Kim Sage, PsyD, MA, is a licensed clinical psychologist in California and has a large social media following. She has a popular TikTok (590k followers), Instagram (77.5k followers) and YouTube (317k subscribers). And she offers four courses (one is free) that revolve around identifying your childhood trauma and learning how to heal from it. 9 Phrases That Signal Someone Has a 'Victim Mindset,' According to Psychologists first appeared on Parade on Jul 19, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 19, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword


CBS News
5 days ago
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Book excerpt: "Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change"
We may receive an affiliate commission from anything you buy from this article. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Atlantic staff writer Olga Khazan set out to change aspects of her personality she didn't like by forcing herself outside of her comfort zone, and documented the progress she made in her new book, "Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change" (Simon & Schuster/Simon Element). Among the challenges that Khazan, a lifelong introvert, set for herself: Tackling her social anxiety by enrolling in an improv class. Yes, and … how did that go? Read an excerpt below, and don't miss Susan Spencer's interview with Olga Khazan on "CBS Sunday Morning" July 20! "Me, But Better" by Olga Khazan Prefer to listen? Audible has a 30-day free trial available right now. My journey into extroversion began solitarily, with me watching the improv show Middleditch & Schwartz on Netflix one night. The episode opened with two well-known actors, Thomas Middleditch and Ben Schwartz, spending an uncomfortably long time pulling a premise for their sketch out of a random audience member—a photography intern. Then, on a bare stage, Middleditch pretended to interview Schwartz for a photography job, making up absurd questions like "embody a gazelle." The audience laughed along gamely, but mostly, the scene reminded me that I needed to file my expense report. I felt uneasy for the actors, like at any moment the crowd could turn on them, leaving them groping for laughs in ghostly silence. I wondered why they couldn't have just written out better scenes ahead of time. And even worse, I knew that soon, I would be in their exact same position, except without the advantage of being a famous comedian. For my personality-change project, I had decided to focus on each of the five traits intensively for a few months at a time, and I tackled extroversion first. In recent years my life had descended into a rut that I didn't particularly like, and extroversion seemed like the way out. Most days, I worked, made dinner, watched TV, and worked some more. Rich and I were planning to relocate, and it occurred to me that I would have both moved into and out of my house without having met any of my neighbors. A test in a self-help book reminded me that I have "high loneliness." My "very low" extroversion score was probably not surprising to people who know me: My friend Anastasia once sentenced me to attending a party on pain of ending our friendship. But my hard-core introversion could turn pernicious, shading at times into loneliness and isolation. I have a career in which work can expand to fill every crevice of the day, and sometimes I thought that was a good thing, because I didn't have many hobbies or friends to otherwise occupy my time. (And say what you will about extroverts, but they have plenty of hobbies and friends.) I had always told myself I could focus on socializing after my life had stabilized, but the absence of social interaction was, itself, destabilizing. Of all five traits, extroversion offers the simplest path to personality change: You just have to go out and talk to people. You don't even have to be particularly good at it, or to proclaim yourself an "extrovert" while you do it. You just go, and extroversion will find you, like the entire wedding follows the first intrepid dancer. Coincidentally, this is also the ethos behind improv comedy: You just have to say something. Anything! For the uninitiated, "improv" is short for "improvisational theater." The idea is that two or more actors get up on stage without knowing what they'll say or do. They get to the "scene" by accepting and building on a partner's improvisations—a concept known as "yes, and." When this is done well, improvisers say there is virtually no difference between improv and scripted theater—a claim about which opinions surely differ. I knew I needed a commitment device for extroversion—something to force me out of my house and into gregariousness. I decided to try improv, which seemed like the full-immersion extrovert experience. It also felt like full-immersion insanity. Rich saw me entering my credit-card information into the website of Dojo Comedy, a cozy-looking D.C. improv theater whose logo incorporates a pair of mustachioed Groucho Marx comedy glasses. "You doing improv is like Larry David doing ice hockey," he said. It's true. My general vibe is less "yes, and" and more "well, actually." I've never really liked improv as an art form. I don't find it particularly funny—it's more like an extended inside joke you're never going to get. I thought Middleditch would warm me to improv, but it only turned me off more. Before the first class a few weeks later, I donned a Groundlings-ready black T-shirt and jeans, hoping to draw as little attention to myself as possible. I tried to shake memories of being so timid in middle-school drama class that I only qualified to be the understudy for the smallest role—Bob Cratchit's daughter. When I typed the address of the improv studio into my phone, I was relieved when the red snake of "heavier than usual traffic" indicated that I would have at least an hour to mentally prepare. The improv class met in an old townhouse, in a room that was, for no discernible reason, filled with dozens of sculptures of elephants. Six of us novices sat in a circle on chairs that looked like they'd been salvaged from Victorian funerals. The instructor, a short brunette with a brisk, friendly manner, opened by asking us about our past improv experience—none, in my case. One of the other women rattled off a long list of improv classes she had taken. What kind of crazy person does improv multiple times? I wondered. (Me, as it would turn out.) Right after the instructor said, "Let's get started," I prayed for someone to grab an elephant and knock me unconscious. That didn't happen, so instead I stood up to play warm-up games with a software engineer, two lawyers, and a guy who worked on the Hill. The games were meant to loosen us up for what was to come, which was "scene work," or acting out unscripted mini plays with one another. First, we learned the improv standard Zip Zap Zop, which involves whooshing beams of energy at one another and taking turns saying "Zip," "Zap," and—you guessed it— "Zop." The point of the game is to stay unflustered enough to keep up the Zip-Zap-Zop sequence while still whooshing on to someone else in the circle. I struggled for several reasons: Because of the pandemic, I hadn't been in a room with other people for more than a year. On top of that, I have poor reflexes, and, because we wore masks, you had to determine whether someone was about to Zop you solely by the angle of their eyes. If someone messed up the sequence—said "Zip" to another's "Zip," for instance—we would all stop, clap, and say, "yay!," reinforcing the idea that it's okay to screw up in improv. The spirit of all this was so different from my job, where you can get fired for screwing up, that it felt like some sort of rehab for perfectionists. Then we moved on to juggling various invisible items between one another, including an invisible ball, which, humiliatingly, we had to refer to as "invisible ball!" I sensed that the others were as nervous as I was, but this being D.C., an air of try-hard overachievement subsumed everyone's true emotions. People, myself included, will behave ridiculously if they feel they have no alternative. I imagined all my fellow ball-jugglers back at work the next day, writing emails in which they promised to circle back and touch base. I wondered whether they would think back to this moment of whimsy at their brown-bag lunches, as they gravely discussed the situation in Burkina Faso. Maybe it would make the situation in Burkina Faso seem less chaotic by comparison. Soon it was time to call an invisible hawk to my arm. I noted with gratitude that at least the blinds were closed, so no one could see us from the street. Excerpted from "Me, But Better." Copyright © 2025, Olga Khazan. Reproduced by permission of Simon Element, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. All rights reserved. Get the book here: "Me, But Better" by Olga Khazan Buy locally from For more info:


CBS News
5 days ago
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This week on "Sunday Morning" (July 20)
The Emmy Award-winning "CBS News Sunday Morning" is broadcast on CBS Sundays beginning at 9:00 a.m. ET. "Sunday Morning" also streams on the CBS News app beginning at 11:00 a.m. ET. (Download it here.) Hosted by Jane Pauley COVER STORY: The science of redesigning your personalityWriter Olga Khazan was unhappy with the person she was – anxious, obsessed with work, unable to have fun, and constantly worried about things. And when therapy, medications and self-care failed to work for her, Khazan decided a more radical approach was needed: she vowed to redesign her personality. Khazan talks with "Sunday Morning" correspondent Susan Spencer about the surprising steps she took to live outside her comfort zone – a journey she documented in her new book, "Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change." Spencer also talks with University of Kentucky professor Shannon Sauer-Zavala about how it's possible to change seemingly intractable personality traits. For more info: ALMANAC: July 20"Sunday Morning" looks back at historical events on this date. FASHION: Brooklyn Fashion Academy: Opening the door to new talentDuring the summer, the Brooklyn Public Library hosts a free program mentoring aspiring fashion designers – some with no formal experience – with an assist from "Project Runway All Stars" alum Benjamin Mach. Correspondent Elaine Quijano reports on the Brooklyn Fashion Academy and its goal to broaden access into the fashion industry. For more info: U.S.: A Civil War landmark in downtown little-known landmark in Washington, D.C., is an inconspicuous building that was the site of a revolutionary effort at the end of the Civil War – one that changed the military ever since – where Clara Barton worked to locate thousands of soldiers missing or dead. Correspondent Falie Salie visits the Clara Barton Missing Soldiers Office Museum. For more info: BOOKS: Restaurateur Keith McNally on why he regrets "almost everything"British-born restaurateur Keith McNally opened such popular New York City institutions as the Odeon, Balthazar and Pastis. But a 2016 stroke, which caused immobility and affected his speech, led to a suicide attempt two years later. It also led him to take to social media, and pen an irreverent memoir, "I Regret Almost Everything." He talks with correspondent Mo Rocca about overcoming public embarrassment about his condition, and the importance of having a hamburger on the menu. For more info: PASSAGE: In memoriam"Sunday Morning" remembers some of the notable figures who left us this week. TV: Bridget Everett on how she ended up as "Somebody, Somewhere"Actress and cabaret star Bridget Everett put her hometown of Manhattan, Kansas, on the map with "Somebody, Somewhere." Everett was a writer, producer and lead actor in the Peabody Award-winning HBO series about a Midwestern woman returning home and working through grief. Correspondent Luke Burbank visited Everett in Manhattan, to talk about her surreal journey, and about a show whose characters can be hopeless and hopeful in the same moment. For more info: HARTMAN: Happiness carousel TV: What shocked "Matlock" star Kathy Bates?Academy Award-winning actress Kathy Bates, who sat down with Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz to talk about some of her most memorable stage and screen roles, from "Misery" to "Matlock," learned a startling fact about her relationship with her mother the night she won the Oscar. (Originally broadcast Oct. 6, 2024.) For more info: THESE UNITED STATES: Yellowstone National ParkCorrespondent Conor Knighton reflects on the American treasure whose preservation as our first national park inspired similar conservation efforts around the globe. For more info: MUSIC: Conductor Herbert Blomstedt, a man who has cheated timeHerbert Blomstedt is still conducting major symphony orchestras around the world at the age of 98. And as correspondent Martha Teichner reports, he plans to continue doing so past 100 because, he says, "I have gifts I have to live up to." For more info: Footage courtesy of: Photos courtesy of: COMMENTARY: Former Obama speechwriter David Litt on finding neutral ground"Common ground" may be increasingly difficult to find in a time when everything seems political. Instead, David Litt, a former speechwriter for President Barack Obama, suggests finding "neutral ground" with others – a place to spend time together focused on something other than our differences. Surfing, he found, is a good option. For more info: NATURE: TBD FROM THE ARCHIVES: Martin Cruz Smith on writing mysteries (Video)Martin Cruz Smith, author of such bestsellers as "Gorky Park" and "Polar Star," died on July 11, 2025, at age 82. In this "Sunday Morning" profile that aired Oct. 20, 2002, Smith talked with correspondent Anthony Mason about how he continued writing mysteries featuring Moscow detective Arkady Renko, despite being blacklisted by the Soviet Union. He also discussed the "boring" aspects of writing, and the research he conducted in Japan for his novel "December 6," set in Tokyo on the eve of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Notable Deaths MARATHON: Fun 'n' Games (YouTube Video)Enjoy these classic "Sunday Morning" features about gaming, from board and tile games, to bizarre new games that might not catch on. MARATHON: Pieces of history (YouTube Video)In this compilation, "CBS Sunday Morning" delves into the pages of history, from the fall of Saigon to the reconstruction of the Notre Dame Cathedral. The Emmy Award-winning "CBS News Sunday Morning" is broadcast on CBS Sundays beginning at 9:00 a.m. ET. Executive producer is Rand Morrison. DVR Alert! Find out when "Sunday Morning" airs in your city "Sunday Morning" also streams on the CBS News app beginning at 11:00 a.m. ET. (Download it here.) Full episodes of "Sunday Morning" are now available to watch on demand on and Paramount+, including via Apple TV, Android TV, Roku, Chromecast, Amazon FireTV/FireTV stick and Xbox. Follow us on Twitter/X; Facebook; Instagram; YouTube; TikTok; Bluesky; and at You can also download the free "Sunday Morning" audio podcast at iTunes and at Now you'll never miss the trumpet!
Yahoo
12-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
People Are Sharing The One Thing They Stopped Doing That Instantly Made Their Lives A Million Times Better, And I'm About To Try Them
Sometimes, life doesn't get better by adding something — it gets better by letting go. When u/Same-Tea1899 asked, "What's one thing you stopped doing that instantly made your life better?" people shared the surprisingly small habits, mindsets, and toxic patterns they let go of that completely transformed their well-being. Here's what they had to say: 1."I stopped lying to myself. I accepted that there are things about me that had to be changed. I accepted the fact that I believed some things that were harming me. I accepted the fact that I had made mistakes. I can't explain the relief of being able to look at myself in the mirror and say, 'You messed up bad, but you can learn from your mistakes and move on and try not to mess up anymore. You're not perfect and that's cool, just try to be better going forward.'" —u/fazlez1 Related: 2."Not sleeping. I used to pull all-nighters regularly. I probably spent the better part of the last two decades constantly sleep-deprived. Forget that. I sleep now. I don't care what urgent matters there are and what demons are whispering in my ears — I check out, even if it takes a bit of help with meds. It has improved my quality of life by several orders of magnitude." —u/ooOJuicyOoo 3."People-pleasing." —u/VelvetMousse1 4."Waiting for someone to join to experience something." —u/Feeling_Investment16 5."Not exercising at all. Exercising makes me feel much better in general." —u/Ben5544477 6."Overthinking texts before sending them." —u/[deleted] "Mine is more the opposite, at least with comments and posts online. I'll type something and think, 'Do I really want to start this fight?' Then I just delete it. I don't have time or patience to explain to people why they're wrong." —u/ThePastJack Related: 7."Doomscrolling every moment I pick up the phone. Gone from four hours of daily phone use to two hours. Still some work to be done, but feeling much better." —u/Consistent_Prize_253 8."I went no contact with a toxic narcissist relative." —u/nellnober 9."Trying to manage other people's happiness. I am an adult. The people around me are adults. It's their job to tell me if they're upset, not my job to sense their mood changes and react before they get mad. They're grown adults — they can speak up if they're upset." —u/lucue_ 10."Eating a terrible diet." —u/noir_lord Related: 11."I kicked a 14-year opioid habit. I'm 2.5 years off. Whether it's pills, booze, sex, is so hard. Those asking for advice: find an 'anchor.' My anchor is my husband and child. They keep me tethered to reality and sobriety because I want them to be proud of me (and they are, of course). I know how hard addiction is, and I am so proud of the fighters and survivors and the success stories. Keep fighting!" "Quitting and sobriety are intense and sometimes seem impossible, but y'all are out here killing this! The more of us that tell our sobriety stories, the more hope it gives to other addicts." —u/luckykricket 12."I had a friend who was definitely a bad influence. Had to walk away from them." —u/Bland_cracker 13."Stop overanalyzing what people say to me." —u/Deep_Investigator 14."Deleted Facebook." —u/Petty_Paw_Printz 15."Stopped smoking." —u/Quiet_Answer9363 Related: 16."Not saving money. Once I get my salary, I take out 1,000 (of my currency) and split it into two accounts — one for long-term savings and one for emergency savings. Seeing the amount grow over time and seeing that I have backup money really, really soothes my heart." —u/KazakiriKaoru 17."Quit drinking alcohol." —u/wastemydayaway 18."I quit worrying about my neighbors seeing me embarrass myself while I work on my garden in the front yard." —u/MissMcNoodle 19."Smoking weed. Turns out what I thought was making me happier was driving me deeper into depression and exacerbating mental illness. Who knew? 600 days clean today." —u/mindman1515 20."I stopped holding in my anger and blowing up at random times. Now, I just express what I'm angry about instead of invalidating the feeling. Instead of suppressing it, shoving it down, and slowly turning it into resentment." —u/Mini-Heart-Attack Have you cut something out of your life that made everything better? Let us know what you stopped doing that changed your life for the better in the comments — you never know who it might help! Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity. Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: