Latest news with #socialising
The Guardian
2 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
The one change that worked: I felt self-conscious – until I started complimenting strangers
I'm an ambivert. No, it's not some made-up personality type. I enjoy spending time with others and socialising, but I need time alone to recharge. Starting conversations and keeping them flowing smoothly have never come naturally to me. I overthink everything: 'Am I speaking too much? I haven't said anything in the past five minutes. Quick, say something. Oh no, I've missed my opening. Wait, why did I say that? That was weird.' These are the thoughts that are constantly swirling in my head mid-conversation, and then I'll go home, replay it all again and cringe at that one thing I said. I have always been deeply envious of people who can charm and easily work a room. So, in the past year, I've set myself a challenge: to compliment a stranger at least once a day – and it has to be genuine. If I see someone wearing something great, I'll say it's cute and ask where it's from. If they're sporting beautiful lipstick or have great hair, I'll compliment them and ask for details. Whether it's a cashier, a barista or someone walking past me, I try to say it out loud instead of just thinking it. The other day, in the queue at Golden Gate Bakery in London's Chinatown, I told an older Asian woman her perm looked incredible. All bounce, no frizz. We ended up bonding over which bakeries still make proper old-school Chinese pineapple buns. Complimenting someone is a great icebreaker or conversation starter when you don't know what else to say. And, if I can make someone's day that bit brighter, that makes me happy. Seeing someone smile because of something I said always lifts my mood. When I started doing it, I was worried it might come off as a bit odd, but it's got easier. It's made me feel more confident, more present and more at ease talking to people. And, the truth is, I'm just nosy and curious. Some of the most memorable compliments I've ever received have come from strangers. Even three years after my debut book, Takeaway, came out, I still receive messages from people around the world who tell me my writing moved them or helped them face their own trauma. I've even made a 'Good Things' folder on my laptop, filled with screenshots of these messages. There's something powerful about a kind comment from someone who went out of their way to interact with you, even though they didn't have to say anything at all. We could all use a bit more kindness in the world. This challenge has been as much about pushing myself out of my comfort zone as spreading joy. I wasn't used to putting myself out there like that and letting go of my self-consciousness. But, the more I leaned into it, the more I realised how much I'd been holding myself back. It has reminded me, too, that the deepest impact can come from the smallest acts of care. That quiet moment of connection, no matter how brief, can be enough to boost your day. Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
The Guardian
2 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
The one change that worked: I felt self-conscious – until I started complimenting strangers
I'm an ambivert. No, it's not some made-up personality type. I enjoy spending time with others and socialising, but I need time alone to recharge. Starting conversations and keeping them flowing smoothly have never come naturally to me. I overthink everything: 'Am I speaking too much? I haven't said anything in the past five minutes. Quick, say something. Oh no, I've missed my opening. Wait, why did I say that? That was weird.' These are the thoughts that are constantly swirling in my head mid-conversation, and then I'll go home, replay it all again and cringe at that one thing I said. I have always been deeply envious of people who can charm and easily work a room. So, in the past year, I've set myself a challenge: to compliment a stranger at least once a day – and it has to be genuine. If I see someone wearing something great, I'll say it's cute and ask where it's from. If they're sporting beautiful lipstick or have great hair, I'll compliment them and ask for details. Whether it's a cashier, a barista or someone walking past me, I try to say it out loud instead of just thinking it. The other day, in the queue at Golden Gate Bakery in London's Chinatown, I told an older Asian woman her perm looked incredible. All bounce, no frizz. We ended up bonding over which bakeries still make proper old-school Chinese pineapple buns. Complimenting someone is a great icebreaker or conversation starter when you don't know what else to say. And, if I can make someone's day that bit brighter, that makes me happy. Seeing someone smile because of something I said always lifts my mood. When I started doing it, I was worried it might come off as a bit odd, but it's got easier. It's made me feel more confident, more present and more at ease talking to people. And, the truth is, I'm just nosy and curious. Some of the most memorable compliments I've ever received have come from strangers. Even three years after my debut book, Takeaway, came out, I still receive messages from people around the world who tell me my writing moved them or helped them face their own trauma. I've even made a 'Good Things' folder on my laptop, filled with screenshots of these messages. There's something powerful about a kind comment from someone who went out of their way to interact with you, even though they didn't have to say anything at all. We could all use a bit more kindness in the world. This challenge has been as much about pushing myself out of my comfort zone as spreading joy. I wasn't used to putting myself out there like that and letting go of my self-consciousness. But, the more I leaned into it, the more I realised how much I'd been holding myself back. It has reminded me, too, that the deepest impact can come from the smallest acts of care. That quiet moment of connection, no matter how brief, can be enough to boost your day. Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
Daily Mail
30-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Sip smarter this summer: Discover the 'Magic of Moderate Drinking' with these simple tips
Summer is the season for socialising, from music festivals and garden parties to laid-back picnics in the park. If you're someone who enjoys a tipple on social occasions, drinking better, not more, will make these moments more memorable than ever. Diageo, the maker of iconic brands such as Guinness, Johnnie Walker and Gordon's, are here to help you celebrate to the fullest by sharing four simple, effective tips to keep in mind. And once you've read them, be sure to head over to the DRINKiQ quiz to test your knowledge of all things drinking... Here's to a summer of music, laughter and good times - all thanks to the Magic of Moderate drinking! How to make a refreshing 0.0% pink paloma Fruity and sweet with sour notes, the 0.0% pink paloma is a cross between a paloma and gin fizz. It's supremely summery and bursting with fragrant flavour! Here's how to make one - What you'll need - 50ml Gordon's 0.0% Premium Pink, 150ml pink grapefruit soda, one grapefruit wedge, one pinch of salt for rim, one highball glass. Method 1. Rim glass with salt. 2. Add Gordon's 0.0% Premium Pink and the pink grapefruit soda to the glass filled with ice and stir to mix. 3. Garnish with pink grapefruit. 1. Measure your drinks Keeping track of your alcohol consumption is key to ensuring you stay within your limits. As the old saying goes, knowledge is power. Or in this case, the power to drink responsibly! If you're drinking spirits at a summer gathering, opting for measured single serves makes it much easier to work out how much you've had. It can be tricky to count drinks when your glass is topped up halfway through, so try to wait until you've finished your drink before accepting a refill. And when hosting, use a spirits jigger to measure out each serve so you don't accidentally add more alcohol than you meant to. 2. Space out your drinks with water It's always important to drink plenty of water, but especially when drinking. So water is key to keeping the good times going - particularly when it's hot. Alternating drinks with a cold glass with ice and lemon will help you pace yourself and ensure you're enjoying every sip without overdoing it. 3. Pair drinks with delicious food You must eat tasty food, and plenty of it! See what we mean when we say responsible drinking is about having MORE fun rather than less? Great food doesn't just elevate any celebration; it also slows alcohol absorption - helping to keep the good times balanced. If you're hosting, a well-chosen selection of nibbles is guaranteed to be a hit with your guests, while also providing a chance to show off your cooking skills. A nice touch is to choose foods that complement the taste of particular drinks - providing people with even more of an incentive to take a bite. 4. Explore alcohol-free options The number of alcohol-free drinks choices has boomed in recent years, with many bars providing a separate menu of delicious alcohol-free options. It's well worth taking a look if you want to take the night off booze without compromising on the experience. Or you could try the technique known as zebra-striping, where you switch each alcoholic drink with an alcohol-free one. This naturally reduces the amount of alcohol you have without feeling like you're missing out in social settings. Whatever your approach, the key is to savour every moment and embrace the magic of moderation. With thoughtful choices, you can make this summer memorable for all the right reasons. Drink responsibly. The UK Chief Medical Officers advise that to keep the risk from alcohol low, adults should not regularly drink more than 14 units of alcohol per week.
Telegraph
13-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Telegraph
I went for dinner with strangers and it restored my faith in humanity, life and myself
As the lift ascends to the 15th floor, only one thought loops through my mind: 'I don't want to be here.' I'm attending a dinner with five total strangers. I don't know their names, ages, or any details about them. All I know is that they'll be meeting me at 7pm. I'm here to experience Timeleft, a viral dinner club designed to help groups of people meet new friends, try new restaurants and break down the barriers that the digital world has erected between us. 'Even 10 years ago we spent way more time socialising: we'd go outside, we went to the bars, we had some rituals in the week too – we went to church or the grocery market or whatever,' asserts Timeleft's founder, Parisian entrepreneur Maxime Barbier, 40. 'The online world has made us much more isolated. I don't think we're becoming less social, I think we're losing our capability to express ourselves, and that's why we created a space where people can talk to each other. That's why I think it's working well in so many different countries.' Operating in 260 cities in over 60 countries around the world, Timeleft dinners take place every Wednesday evening. Diners pay a membership fee for access (£12.90 for a single dinner, or £19.90 for a month in the UK) then can choose a date, and the algorithm pairs them up with five others. The location of the dinner isn't confirmed until the night before. Before any of this, I have to complete a personal quiz. The questions are eclectic: 'Are your opinions usually guided by logic and facts or emotions and feelings?', 'Do you consider yourself more of an author's film enthusiast or mainstream blockbuster lover?', 'From 1-10 how much of an introverted person do you consider yourself?' These answers will, in theory, be used to match me up with a group whose chemistry is perfect for potentially making friends. 'We know six people is the best size for a table, we know that gender balance is really important, we know that it's really important that there's no more than 10 years difference between the youngest and oldest at the table, we know everyone needs to speak the same language, the price of the restaurant plays a big part, we know the balance has to be right between introverts and extroverts,' says Barbier. At the end of the dinner, I can rate my fellow diners to help the algorithm refine what types of people click. Feeling apprehensive Given three million diners have used Timeleft since it launched four years ago, the algorithm should, in theory, be pretty good at putting together good groups: so as I ride the lift up to Madera restaurant on the 15th floor of the Treehouse Hotel in central London, why am I feeling so gripped by anxiety? The truth is, I used to be better at this. A few years ago I could have walked into a room of strangers and felt totally at ease. Recently though, I went through a period of what I can only describe as mild depression. I felt myself growing exhausted by social interactions with new people. The well of gregariousness which I'd always found easy to draw from dried up. It's a bewildering feeling to look back and notice a change like that in yourself; almost as though some quintessential 'Jackness' in me had been irreparably eroded, replaced by a constant concern about how I was coming across: too loud or too quiet, too verbose or too meek, too opinionated or too reticent. Self-awareness is a vital – and sadly often neglected – skill, but this went further: I could never settle on who I was or what I was bringing to people. Of course, some people are natural introverts who would simply not throw themselves into a social situation like a dinner with strangers to begin with. Perhaps I could have accepted that's who I am now. But meeting people used to fill me with joy; I always say that one of the best parts of my job is the wealth of people I come into contact with, so I wasn't prepared to go gentle into that quiet life. So: to dinner. I tell the host I'm here for the Timeleft dinner and she shows me to the bar where I meet Victor and Oli. The pair know each other already – Timeleft allows diners who've enjoyed each other's company to pair up again on future dinners. They are actually celebrating their 'Timeleftiversary': having met at a dinner a year ago, they quickly became fast friends, even holidaying together, and tonight's meeting is a celebration of that. Oli has been on 41 Timeleft dinners across London, and jokes he's an unofficial ambassador for the company. 'I signed up originally because one day I looked at my friendship group and realised they were all married, or having kids, and I had ended up left out,' he explains. 'There are so many people in London, I wanted to meet some of them and hopefully make new friends.' Gradually the rest of our party filters in and it becomes apparent that I'm the only newbie. Ruxandra has just moved to London from Bucharest for a job in the film industry and has been to two dinners to make some new friends. Jeni, a cheerful Australian with an easy laugh, also knows Oli and simply enjoys meeting people; this is her ninth dinner. Sarah, who recently returned to London from Hong Kong and wanted to relaunch herself on the social scene, is on her 19th. A safe space Despite my dinner companions' backgrounds, according to Barbier, 'around 80 per cent' of Timeleft's users are natives rather than expats seeking to form a new social circle. The 50-50 gender split of my dinner is also somewhat unusual: two thirds of users are women. 'Women get together for the purpose of gathering and men get together for the purpose of doing,' thinks Barbier, who argues that generally women are more social overall. 'We launched women-only nights two months ago and we've had more than 12,000 women participating in that.' Men-only nights are being considered to address the precipitous rise of male loneliness, but Barbier thinks they will require a bit more of an activity – he's considering football-themed meet-ups as a trial. 'You say to women that you're having a 'women-only event' and they understand immediately that it's about solidarity, making a safe space, all that stuff,' he says. 'When you say 'men-only' guys panic and suddenly think it's a dating thing. Men are socialised to be bad at this.' Once we make our introductions, conversation turns to food; Jeni volunteers to play mother and picks a selection of sharing platters for us and from there the chatter doesn't stop flowing. We joke about the deafening sound system, especially after a surly manager furiously informs us that no, he won't turn down the speakers 'because in my restaurant we want to keep up the party vibes'. We talk about previous Timeleft dinners, and the rise of in-person meet-up experiences. We chat about holidays, concerts, life in London, the cost of living crisis, the ethics of service charges (Jeni is dead set against them, and after our run-in with the grouchy restaurant manager, we quickly come round to her point of view). Conversation is brisk and free-flowing. Very occasionally we lapse into silence but Oli's endless conviviality is quick to overcome those moments. I'm happy to say that the three and a half hours we spend together flies by. Easy connections It strikes me only once we've split the bill and headed our separate ways that I still don't know a huge amount about my dining companions. I never asked their ages, their occupations, if they had partners or pets. I worry momentarily that might have been rude of me, but then I realise that in the whole time we were together I never felt the need to fall back on stock questions or small talk which might have illuminated such subjects. Instead I learnt about raves in Romanian castles, laughed about the proper 'vibes' a restaurant should aspire towards, and debated the appropriate costs for a taco. It felt rather like hanging out with friends, more than meeting strangers. I won't pretend that I wasn't exhausted by the end of the evening. I can't bear awkward silences and I kicked myself slightly for not being good enough at averting them in places. But overall it was a delight and most importantly, enlivening; proof to myself that the old, confident Jack is still inside me somewhere. And alright, I didn't necessarily make any new bosom buddies, but Oli added me to his WhatsApp group for events in London, and I've promised I'll do another Timeleft dinner. With around 30,000 diners around the world meeting up for dinners this Wednesday night, I'm sure a lot of people have felt the same apprehension I felt earlier. But I'm heartened to think that collectively we all chose meeting, engagement and friendship over the ease of doing nothing, scrolling through social media and letting the solitude of modern life win. In a world that seems endlessly desperate to drive us apart, sometimes it's nice to get a reminder of just how easy it is to connect with the people around us.
The Sun
23-06-2025
- Business
- The Sun
Half of Gen Z now prioritise exercise over socialising – preferring to share workout selfies than pics with mates
A POLL of 2,000 adults found 22 per cent of 18-28-year-olds would rather share a post-workout selfie online than a picture of them out with their mates. But 22 per cent feel there aren't enough venues catering to their clean-living aspirations, leaving them frustrated (40 per cent) and lonely (24 per cent). 1 And 42 per cent of all adults polled end up feeling guilty going for an after-exercise drink. Despite exercise taking priority, 34 per cent say the gym is their least favourite place to socialise. To help, energy drink maker Reign Storm is launching The Energy Bar on June 24, the first venue of its kind to cater to an audience seeking out 'clean' socialising spaces. With a clean menu, areas for warming up, cooling down and light cardio, and fitness-wear dress code, the trial space could provide an insight into the future of the city's bar scene. Rob Adkins, from the brand, said: ' Pubs and bars are awesome, especially in British summertime, but the experience becomes a lot less enjoyable if you don't want to drink alcohol. 'Our research found that UK adults are struggling to find venues that align with their clean-living aspirations, and we think it's time to change that. 'The Reign Storm Energy Bar is a one-of-a-kind venue that fuses the clean-living priorities of a gym space, with the social benefits of a pub.' The study also revealed the top things adults want from a social venue, with 46 per cent longing for a space quiet enough to talk. While 45 per cent want space to chill, 40 per cent look for good food and drink, and 29 per cent want a cost-effective space. More than one in five (22 per cent) want somewhere that's good for them mentally and physically, 19 per cent want 'clean' food and drink options and 18 per cent just want 'vibes' 'No longer about having a drink' It also emerged that reasons for not socialising at the pub included worries about limited alcohol-free options (20 per cent) and the lack of clean or healthier options in general (16 per cent). A third (34 per cent) said it's too expensive and 21 per cent claimed going to the pub makes them anxious, according to the figures. The spokesperson from Reign Storm added: 'For lots of people, socialising is no longer just about having a drink - it's about sharing experiences. 'People want to be able to socialise in a healthy way, and what's healthier than the gym? 'But there are lots of problems in trying to get your social life up to date in the gym, so a space where you can be clean and chatty is very much needed.' It comes after nearly four in 10 Brits are open to a career move - with half of these actively searching for their "calling."
