‘My mum dumps our pets when she's bored with them' — Daughter says she's accused of being unfilial for refusing to let her mum move in with her and her cats

Independent Singapore

a day ago

SINGAPORE: When a woman says her cats are like her children, it's usually metaphorical. But for one Singaporean woman, it's a literal deal-breaker — even if it means being branded as an unfilial child by her own mother.
'My mum is one of those older generation who treat pets like toys,' the daughter wrote. 'They can be discarded anytime once she gets bored with them.'
The confession, first sent to SGWhispers and later posted to Facebook, sparked waves of empathy, applause, and a few raised eyebrows — not because the woman doesn't love her mother, but because she loves her cats even more. 'My cats are my children…'
She recounted a childhood peppered with animals. 'When my siblings and I were young, we had several pets,' she said. 'But they were eventually given away after a short period — either because the novelty wore off or one of us got injured due to a lack of proper knowledge on how to play with animals.'
Now grown up and child-free by choice, the woman proudly shares her home with several feline companions she calls her 'children.' But her lifestyle choices continue to clash with her mother's expectations.
'My mum keeps pestering me to have human kids instead,' the daughter expressed her frustration. Mum says pets are a waste of money…
Her mother, now living alone, has dropped hints that she'd like to move in with her daughter eventually. But the daughter isn't exactly rolling out the red carpet — especially not one with paw prints on it.
The reason is that her mum still thinks pets are a waste of money and has even suggested that the daughter give the cats away.
During a house renovation, the daughter had to also pay to board her cats somewhere else because she didn't trust her mother to care for them, and with good reason.
'She (my mum) joked that she would 'accidentally' leave the door open and let the cats run away,' the daughter wrote. 'I believe she'll do something to my cats — pretend to forget to close the gate or cause harm by 'accident'.' 'Mum calls me a disappointment and an unfilial child, but all I want is to protect my cats…'
Despite her mum never officially asking to move in, the daughter says she's made up her mind: 'I am extremely unwilling and hesitant to have her move in.'
And here's the kicker: because of this decision, her mother has labelled her a 'disappointment' and accused her of being unfilial — that classic dagger of Asian guilt trip many Singaporeans know all too well.
But as the daughter sees it, she's not being unfilial — she's being protective. 'My cats' freedom is non-negotiable…'
To make matters more complicated, her siblings aren't viable options either. Some have bad blood with their mum. Others have kids and no extra space.
That leaves her — the cat-loving, boundary-setting daughter — as the only potential lifeline.
'They (the cats) are used to having the freedom to roam the entire house. I don't wish to cage them up just to accommodate someone who doesn't respect them,' she exclaimed.
Her cats' freedom is non-negotiable. And if choosing them means she gets called unfilial, so be it. 'Your house, your rules…'
In the comments section, sympathy poured in for the woman and her cats.
'Your house, your rules,' one person wrote. 'She has the option of a nursing home. Your cats depend on you.'
Another was more poetic: 'It's easy to invite a deity, but difficult to send one away. Don't let a passive-aggressive housemate become a full-blown domestic deity.'
There were even Chinese proverbs thrown into the mix: 'A mountain cannot have two tigers. Don't let the second tiger in.'
But the main consensus is that boundaries matter. Even when it's your mum. One follower of the FB page summed it up bluntly: 'Do not let your mother move in, or your cats will be at risk.'
Others offered practical solutions: hire a helper, house her nearby, visit often — just don't live together under one roof. Especially not with 'accidental' open doors looming in the future. 'To your cats, you're their whole world…'
This saga isn't just about cats versus mums. It's about autonomy, trauma, boundaries, and the price of being labelled unfilial when you're simply protecting your peace — and your pets.
As one commenter pointed out: 'If someone doesn't respect your boundary, you do not need to let them in — even if it's your parents.'
Or, as another said with a fur-midable mic drop: 'To your cats, you're their whole world. Don't give up their world for someone who sees them as disposable.'
The daughter, meanwhile, has made her choice clear — and it meows loudly: ' I am definitely not willing to give my cats away just so my mum can move in with me. '
In other news, while one woman was defending her cats from her mum here, another Singaporean woman was busy manifesting her purrr-fect man, with a wish list that reads like a Build-A-Bae order form.
Her ideal hubby had to be 'not too tall,' have 'some facial hair,' 'never shave his legs' (because that's 'oddly manly'), and be 'fiercely loyal, funny, kind, honest, and quick to respond at first call.' Also: 'He must be cute.'
Facebook commenters weren't about to let that one slide. One even snarked, 'SPCA has 🐕 available for adoption. Pay them a visit.'
You can read the full story over here: SG woman who describes her ideal hubby as having 'facial hair, fiercely loyal, responsive at first call, and cute' gets advice to 'visit SPCA as they have one available'