Woman Left Her Husband and Says His Mother Now Wants to Clear Out the Home They Shared 'ASAP' — She's Not Happy About It
She is worried that her mother-in-law will throw out 'sentimental' items in a rush
Seeking advice, she turned to a popular community forumA woman says that her soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law wants to get involved in clearing out the home she previously shared with her estranged husband, and she's unsure if she should allow it.
The woman detailed her experience in the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women seek advice from other women. In her post, the woman said that she recently decided to leave her husband, and that she'll soon be moving to a 'new place nearby.'
'Our marital home is a mess,' she explained, adding that she has been the caretaker to a 'severely disabled child' and so could never quite get 'on top of everything.'
The woman added that in her initial conversations with her soon-to-be ex-husband, it was agreed that they would split the cost of renting a dumpster to go through all the clutter together after she moved out.
'I promised that I wouldn't leave the house in a mess, and also offered to store stuff in my place,' she added.
However, the woman said that her husband's mother 'is desperate to pay for the dumpster and go through everything with my ex ASAP.'
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'I haven't moved out yet, and a lot of the stuff is our children's [stuff], my stuff, and stuff that I would really like to go through with my ex,' she continued, saying, 'I'm worried about my stuff being tossed, sentimental items thrown [out], and just general unease about [my mother-in-law] going through everything.'
'So, should I just resign myself to soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law and ex going through everything the moment I move out and be grateful that I don't have to deal with it, or should I fight my corner for [my] ex to give me more time and [have] us do it together?' the woman asked.
The vast majority of the woman's fellow community members said they thought she should simply take the most essential items she needs and forget the rest.
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'I'd just resign myself to [my mother-in-law] and ex doing it to be honest. I'd get the stuff I really wanted out first though,' one person replied.
Someone else added, 'I think you have to be realistic. Your circumstances are difficult and complex, so just think about your new home and not setting yourself up [with] clutter there from the start.'
Someone else said that they understand where the woman's ex and his mother were coming from in the situation, and that the woman should perhaps have more understanding for their perspective.
'If you won't do it immediately, you're being unreasonable to ask him to wait. Sorting through stuff is hard. But so is looking at it every day, which you don't have to do because you were the one that moved out,' one person said.
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