Subtle signs your partner is having an affair – from shut eyes during sex to Wi-Fi error that instantly catches them out

The Sun

7 days ago

AFTER a clip of a couple seemingly being caught out in their affair by a kiss cam at a Coldplay gig went viral, how must their partners feel?
Tech CEO Andy Byron and his company's HR chief Kristin Cabot leapt apart at the Boston gig, red-faced - clearly embarrassed and panicked.
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It is reportedly Byron who has a wife and children, while Cabot is divorced from her ex-husband. One can only imagine how Byron's wife must feel - discovering her husband's illicit relationship in such a public way.
Most of the time, the signs of an affair are far more subtle.
'Infidelity doesn't always come with lipstick on the collar or suspicious late-night texts,' says Annabelle Knight, a psychosexual therapist and couples' coach.
'Sometimes, the signs are subtle little shifts in behaviour that trigger that something feels 'off'.'
Here, she reveals seven subtle signs that your other half might be unfaithful…
THEY SHUT THEIR EYES DURING SEX
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An affair can change your partner's bedroom behaviour in one of two ways.
Some lose interest in sex because they're emotionally checked out.
If your partner's started something new with someone else, they may avoid being intimate with you.
But often the illicit excitement can boost a partner's sex drive.
It can make them want you more or become more adventurous, either out of guilt or because it has boosted their confidence between the sheets.
They might also be distant in bed, such as stopping looking at you during sex as they might be reliving their last encounter, or take longer to climax.
If it feels 'different', pay attention.
THEIR FRIENDS GIVE YOU THE COLD SHOULDER
Are your partner's friends, family or colleagues giving you a wide, awkward berth?
It might be because they know your partner is up to no good and are scared of letting it slip.
Guilt forces cheats to confide in people and rely on them for alibis.
So a sudden cold-shouldering could be a sign.
Similarly if your partner is shutting you out day-to-day, confiding in others and not sharing details of their day or being vague about their schedule, their affections could lay elsewhere.
A NEW DEVICE HAS JOINED YOUR WIFI
We all deserve privacy.
But if your partner used to casually leave their phone around and now it's always face-down, locked, or glued to their hand - even in the loo - then it could be a sign they're hiding something.
Likewise, if you notice them pinging you a WhatsApp message and then swiftly deleting it before you can read it, it might imply they sent it to the wrong person…
In some cases, sneaky cheats will invest in a second phone they keep in their car or stuffed somewhere like their gym bag.
Check your wifi router to see if any new devices have joined your network.
THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA STATUS SUGGESTS SINGLE
A cheat's social media accounts will rarely mention their partner.
They either want to look like they are single or they don't want to annoy their lover with mentions of the wife and kids.
Likewise, their WhatsApp profile icon might suddenly switch from a cute couples shot to them alone – or even no picture at all.
Tag your partner in a photo of the two of you and see how they respond.
If they like it and reply, this is a good sign.
If they ignore it or delete it, start looking for clues in their friends lists.
THEY ARE LOOKING HOT
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New clothes, new aftershave, a sudden interest in getting fit can be red flags.
If this glow-up came out of nowhere and isn't tied to a birthday, promotion, health news or something else tangible then it might be about impressing someone else.
And if they insist on washing these new clothes themselves, where previously they were allergic to doing laundry, take note.
Cheats prefer to scrub out suspicious stains before you sniff out the dirty truth.
Tell them the washing machine is on the blink and offer to take their load to the laundrette, then watch the whites of their eyes widen in panic.
THEY PICK FIGHTS
Emotional distance often leads to nit-picking or irritability.
Why? Because guilt and frustration need somewhere to go.
If small things are suddenly causing big drama, it could be a projection of their own unease.
If you feel as though there's been an uptick in arguments then your partner may be hiding something.
In some cases, they might even project their bad behaviour onto you and accuse you of cheating.
This could be as a way of gaslighting to shift suspicion or to give them a reason to storm out and visit their fling.
YOUR GUT JUST KNOWS
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It sounds unscientific, but psychological studies show our intuition often picks up on subtle behavioural changes before our brain catches up.
If something feels off, don't ignore that inner voice - it's a lot smarter than you give it credit for.
But also remember that while these signs could suggest cheating, they might point to stress, low mood or some other personal change.
Use this as a cue to talk honestly and encourage them to open up.
A healthy relationship should feel open, safe, and honest.
If it doesn't? That's a red flag all on its own.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: "If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful."
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.