TURN-ON TIPS: Avoid these foreplay fails that lead to bad sex
Sex doesn't always have to be about the act of sex.
The fun time leading up to it can be just as good, sometimes great, and maybe even better — if you know what you're doing and what to expect.
That said, if foreplay isn't your forte, there are ways to fix that.
Alexa Johnston, a sex and relationship expert at Just, Australia's online adult toy store, let us know how to turn around some of the biggest flops in the bedroom so it's more about getting it on than getting it wrong.
Great sex starts long before anyone gets naked.
'Sexual desire isn't just physical — it's mental and emotional too,' Johnston said.
'If there's no build-up with things like flirty messages, affectionate touches, or even a sense of connection, your body might not get the memo that it's go time.'
If foreplay feels like something you tick off a checklist, then that's not allowing sufficient arousal time, Johnston said.
'Rushing straight to intercourse means the body doesn't get the chance to respond fully, which can significantly reduce the chances of orgasm.'
Verbal and non-verbal gaffes can cause a partner to fumble, leading to missed opportunities for the kind of stimulation that can lead to that mind-blowing feeling.
'Everyone has different turn-ons, and those preferences can change,' Johnston explained.
'Assuming you just know what your partner likes is a risky game.'
While some people are into the AI thing, not everyone wants to romp with a robot.
'Doing the exact same moves every time can make foreplay feel like a routine rather than something exciting,' Johnston said.
'The lack of variety can lead to boredom, and boredom is the enemy of arousal.'
No, orgasms are not what most people love about sex, study finds
SEX FILES: Why cooking together might be the ultimate relationship hack
SEX FILES: Out of sync in the bedroom? You might be experiencing desire discrepancy
The G-spot isn't the only spot, so don't forget those overlooked areas, Johnston advised.
We're looking at you, neck, inner thighs, lower back and, yes, even the scalp.
While some people need that slow, sensual build-up, others thrive on faster, more intense stimulation, so it's a matter of coming together in a way that works for all.
'Finding the right rhythm together is key. If one partner rushes while the other needs more time (or vice versa), it can lead to frustration and missed orgasms,' Johnston detailed.
The good news is that all these missteps are fixable, she assures.
'Building mental and emotional arousal with flirtation and affection creates anticipation and amplifies desire,' Johnston said.
'Taking the time to slow down and immerse yourselves in foreplay means your bodies will be fully prepared for pleasure rather than simply rushing straight to intercourse.'
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