‘Likability labour' – why it's time for women to stop being nice at work
Age: The phrase is new, but as a thing it's almost certainly been going on for ever.
I'm guessing this has nothing to do with the political party currently in power in the UK, because people seem to be finding it hard to like them at the moment? Not that Labour, no. It's about women in the workplace.
Them, I do like. Well, maybe that's part of the issue.
Oh. How so? There's a report …
Thought there would be … called Shapeshifters: What We Do at Work to Be Liked, which, after surveying more than 1,000 people, discovered that women feel greater pressure to be liked at work and in life.
Why? The pressure for women to be likable is 'a culturally entrenched demand that transcends industries and job titles,' says Amy Kean, a sociologist and author of the report, published by training company Good Shout. 'Women are expected to balance competence with warmth, assertiveness with agreeability, and combine authority with overt humility.'
Got some numbers for us? Of course: 56% of women feel pressure to be likeable, compared with 36% of men.
So how does this manifest itself – what do women do? Kean says: 'They're supposed to be the office mum, taking notes in meetings while softly whipping everybody into shape and baking cakes on Fridays in order to be as palatable as possible.'
The cakes? No! The female employees. And it's not just about what they do, it's about what they say as well.
Go on. Women are often twice as likely as men to use phrases such as, 'I might be wrong, but …' and, 'Does that make sense?'
Does it? Make sense? Yes, and they know it does! But 33% of women worry about coming across as too confident (compared to 16% of men), and 50% say they hold back their true opinions in order to be liked (compared to 35% of men). More than a third of women try to 'smile more'.
And I'm thinking this likability labour doesn't pay, does it? Not only does it not pay, the report says it is 'draining creative energy, muffling innovation and punishing authenticity'.
Otherwise it's pretty much a level playing field, right? Ha! Yes, of course. Unless you take into account the glass ceiling, the gender pay gap, the patriarchy and emotional labour (the effort required to keep everything running smoothly). Not to mention mental load (also known as cognitive household labour), and other unpaid labour that women take on at home …
Do say: (Without looking up, certainly without smiling) 'Just leave it there, on my desk, thanks.'
Don't say: 'Sorry to ask but could you possibly do that thing that is literally your job to do …'
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Daily Mail
10 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
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Daily Mail
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What your bouquet says about you: Secret meanings behind flowers and the variety you should NEVER send
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Daily Mail
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How Britain went 'crazy' for VJ Day: Dancing, bonfires and kissing as the nation celebrated Japan's defeat and final end of WWII
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There were said to have been 200 casualties caused by fireworks as the raucous revellers enjoyed themselves. The Red Cross had set up emergency treatment stations, and they received regular fresh cases. Among them were 'women who had fainted, men who had been knocked over and trampled on; men, women, children with burns - one boy was temporarily buried by a firework. There were said to have been 'plenty of police', but 'nobody noticed them'. Thousands of the revellers ended up sleeping on the streets because there were nowhere near enough trains, trams and buses to get them home. It was not just London that celebrated. In Dover on the Kent coast, the castle was floodlit for the first time since 1939 and a 60foot bonfire was visible in France. The King's speech was relayed by a loud speaker that had until then been used for shell warnings. In Hastings, East Sussex, more than 10,000 holiday-makers packed the sea front and danced in the streets. In Portsmouth, the Navy put on a searchlight display, and in Plymouth, fireworks were fired from ships. In Nottingham, thousands of people danced in the streets despite the rain. In Manchester, revellers - among them sailors in uniform - gathered in the city's Albert Square to celebrate. VJ Day happened to coincide with the State Opening of Parliament following the election that had swept Labour into office just weeks earlier. King George VI told the massed MPs and Lords: 'The surrender of Japan has brought to an end six years of warfare which have caused untold loss and misery to the world. 'In this hour of deliverance, it is fitting that we should give humble and solemn thanks to God by whose grace we have been brought to final victory. 'My Armed Forces from every part of my Commonwealth and Empire have fought with steady courage and endurance. 'To them as well as to all others who have borne their share in bringing about this great victory and to all our Allies our gratitude is due.' In a separate address to the British people, King George said: 'The war is over. You know, I think, that those four words have for the Queen and myself the same significance, simple yet immense, that they have for you. 'Our hearts are full to overflowing, as are your own. 'Yet there is not one of us who has experienced this terrible war who does not realise that we shall feel its inevitable consequences long after we have all forgotten our rejoicings of today.' VJ Day celebrations in London. A crowd singing and dancing in Piccadilly Circus, August 14, 1945 Soldiers throw a comrade into the air at Piccadilly Circus as they celebrate VJ Day, August 10, 1945 Crowds line the streets to watch the passing of the Royal procession after a service at St Paul's Cathedral, August 19, 1945 Workers at the Air Ministry letting loose a shower of papers from their office window after they heard news of Japan's surrender, August 10, 1945 Two soldiers lie down with their caps over their eyes, the VJ Day celebrations seemingly passing them by, August 16, 1945 Revellers crowd around a bonfire in Lower Regent Street during VJ celebrations, August 11, 1945 A cheering crowd at Piccadilly Circus on August 10, 1945, after news of Japan's imminent surrender emerged. One man has climbed the traffic lights Picture shows crowds dancing and singing in Leicester Square after the first news of an imminent Japanese surrender was heard, August 10, 1945 The Daily Mail's front page on August 16, 1945, the day after VJ Day The Mail's coverage of prime minister Clement Attlee's address to the nation Prime Minister Clement Attlee told the public in his radio address: 'Japan has today surrendered. The last of our enemies is laid low. 'Taking full advantage of surprise and treachery, the Japanese forces quickly overran the territories of ourselves and our allies in the Far East and at one time it appeared as though they might even invade the mainland of Australia and advance far into India. 'But the tide turned, first slowly then with an ever-increasing speed and violence as the mighty forces of the United States and of the British Commonwealth and Empire and of their allies and finally of Russia were brought to bear.' He finished the broadcast by telling the nation: 'When we return to work on Friday morning we must turn again with energy to the great tasks which challenge us. 'But for the moment let all who can relax and enjoy themselves in the knowledge of work well done.
