‘Financial infidelity' blows up a shocking number of relationships — why lying about money is so damaging

Yahoo

11 hours ago

Money talks — but in many relationships, it's staying suspiciously quiet.
A new survey by Casinos Analyzer found that 41% of people admit to sneaky spending behind their partner's back — and 57% say it blew up their relationship.
Experts call this shady little trend financial infidelity.
That's right — it's not just about sexts and secret flings anymore.
Lying about your paycheck, hiding debt or 'forgetting' to mention that $300 Sephora haul can be just as damaging.
So, if you're sneaking swipes of your credit card behind bae's back, you might be cheating — just with receipts instead of lipstick on your collar.
As noted by the Illinois Department of Central Management Services, financial infidelity is when 'one person in a committed relationship keeps financial secrets from the other.'
Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, a licensed relationship therapist and expert at Casinos Analyzer, explained in the study that this kind of infidelity, 'whether it's hiding a purchase, downplaying debt, or quietly overspending,' can be 'just as damaging as any other form of betrayal.'
Just like cheating in the bedroom or the DMs, money betrayal can leave your partner feeling rattled, rejected — and blaming themselves for the whole mess.
And it's more common than you think.
As previously reported by The Post, half of men are playing financial hide-and-seek with their partners, keeping money secrets stashed like an off-the-books bank account, new research reveals.
In a survey of 2,000 men, nearly one in two who are hitched or coupled up admitted to going rogue with their finances — with the most common covert move being a hidden savings account (14%). Others kept quiet about reckless spending (13%) or a secret credit card (12%).
Roughly 1 in 4 said they were too embarrassed or ashamed to fess up, while nearly 20% claimed they 'just didn't know how to bring it up.'
Turns out, it may not just be guilt — it's pressure. A whopping 48% of men say they feel the need to be financially successful, with more than half blaming their expectations and 27% pointing the finger at society.
Commissioned by Beyond Finance for Men's Mental Health Month and conducted by Talker Research, the study shows what happens when cash and shame collide.
In the former study, Bronstein stressed that financial infidelity 'chips away at trust and leaves one partner in the dark, often sensing something's wrong without knowing why.'
That person, he went on, usually 'second-guesses their instincts and might not share how they're feeling.'
Over time, he warned, this can create 'emotional distance and a disconnect that's hard to bridge.'
If that doesn't sound ideal, the therapist recommended 'talking about spending, even when it's uncomfortable,' since this is a way 'for couples to begin reconnecting—not necessarily to fix their finances, but to understand each other better.'
Ultimately, this is 'how you build trust,' he stressed.