Bride Demands Best Friend Pay for Bachelorette Party or Lose Bridesmaid Role
A bride has threatened to demote her bridesmaid if she doesn't attend her expensive bachelorette party.
In a recent post on Reddit's "Bridezillas" forum, the bridesmaid asked users on the platform for advice after the bride "flipped out" on her for the first time in their six-year-long friendship when she told her she couldn't afford her bachelorette weekend.
"She told me I am either all in and can remain a bridesmaid or if I don't pay up I can attend as a guest," the bridesmaid wrote.
The bridesmaid was shocked by the bride's drastic reaction because they've been best friends for so long, and the bride knows what her current financial situation is.
"We have been there for each other financially, physically and emotionally and have raised our children together," the bridesmaid shared. "I am a divorced single mom and she knows I am struggling to make ends meet right now."
When the woman agreed to be a bridesmaid, she didn't anticipate not being able to afford the pre-wedding festivities because everything was planned to take place locally. She never expected the local bachelorette party expenses to be comparable to those of a lavish destination trip.
"When the MOH (maid of honor) started discussing plans for a LOCAL bachelorette weekend (think, sleepover at the MOH house, brunch and some activities) I wasn't expecting to pay an outrageous amount of money," she explained. "However, with the itinerary she suggested the cost is looking at $500+ — and we aren't even going on a trip!"
The Redditor is unsure whether or not spending hundreds of dollars on a bachelorette party is "normal." However, the remaining four bridal party members — the bride's sister, groom's sister, and two of the bride's friends — appear to take no issue with the high cost because they're all planning on shelling out the cash.
"I told them I could not afford that and instead could compromise and let them know which events I can participate in," the bridesmaid said. "This did not go over well and it got back to the bride (my best friend) who flipped out on me for the first time in our friendship!"
This is the first time the bridesmaid and bride have ever fought over money.
"This really hurt me because I've never seen that side of her and I don't want to lose our friendship," the bridesmaid wrote. "I want to stand by her on one of the most important days of our lives but I'm not going to lie it does hurt feeling like I can only prove my worth if it's financial."
Unsure what to do next, the bridesmaid has taken "some space" from the bride and "a step back" from their friendship.
"I don't even know about how to have this conversation with her given that it ended up in a fight the last time," she admitted.
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The majority of Reddit users commented that reevaluating the friendship was the right move, and that the bridesmaid "deserves better friends."
"If you're being judged on the value of your friendship by a monetary amount, she is not a true friend," the top comment reads.
"Drop out of wedding — do not attend, drop out of her life. If she was really your best friend this wouldn't matter. You do realize she told you straight out her friendship comes at a monetary cost right?" one Redditor wrote, with another agreeing, "She just told you what you are worth to her $500.00, not a penny more. [With] friends like that, who needs enemies?"
In a comment, the bridesmaid wrote: "I know that I deserve to be treated better I'm just conflicted because she's never acted like this before and has always been supportive and understanding. Part of me wants to give her grace but this is so out of character and I'm having a hard time deciding to step out of the wedding party and distance myself or ending the friendship entirely over this."
She added that she might write her friend a letter to express how she's feeling.
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