Fury at What Waitress Does To Cost Her a Tip on $300 Tab: 'It's Messed Up'

Newsweek

4 days ago

Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources.
The internet has weighed in after a waitress lost a tip on a $300+ tab for repeatedly failing to bring one thing.
As the man, who chose not to give his name but who posts to Reddit under the username u/Nerd_Rat, told Newsweek: "It's one thing to get bad service, but that was pretty blatant. The initial event really got under my skin. I don't think anybody likes being treated like that."
He explained, in a post to the r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC sub on May 19, that he met a group of friends at a club and sat at their table, where they had already been ordering alcohol and food.
As he wasn't drinking due to being on medication, he asked the waitress for a Sprite—and says "she gave me an awkward smile and said okay."
She then returned 10 minutes later, without his Sprite, and asked his friends if they wanted another round. They ordered a round of shots and reminded her about the Sprite—but she returned with the alcohol, and again without the Sprite.
When the same thing happened again, and he noticed the waitress didn't go to the bar to get his drink even after he asked a third time, he took matters into his own hands. He went to the bar, ordered his Sprite, paid and tipped the bartender, and returned to his seat.
And later, when the waitress came with the bill that he estimated to be around $300 for the entire party, she tried to charge the man for the Sprite she never brought, claiming the bar had transferred the order to her.
He wrote: "I don't know why I was so upset about the Sprite; it's just a Sprite. But my friends were also upset that I was being treated that way, so they all paid their tabs, left no tip, and wrote on the checks, 'You should have brought my friend a Sprite.'"
The man was torn by what happened, as he usually thinks it's "messed up not to leave tips," and he only learned afterwards what his friends had done. But at the same time, he added, "I also don't like being discriminated against because I can't drink alcohol due to my medications."
Reddit users responded in a big way, awarding the post more than 23,000 upvotes, as commenters weighed in. One took the party's side, writing: "I've worked as a bartender, waitress, and a barista. That kind of behavior doesn't just deserve a no tip, it also deserves a call to the bar owner to let them know WHY the waitress didn't get a tip."
Another assured the man he shouldn't feel bad, as "it was up to your friends to leave a tip and they chose not to. She was not catering to the whole party, just the drinkers. I wouldn't have tipped her either," as another pointed out: "This service deserves no tip. Soft drinks and waters take less than 10 seconds to make."
And as one put it: "She didn't provide a service to get tipped for. Your friends saw that she was blatantly ignoring you. That equals no tip."
But etiquette consultant Lisa Mirza Grotts suggested the party could have taken a different approach, as while gratuity is optional, in the United States "it's customary and often expected."
Pictured: Stock image of a woman holding a bill receipt at a restaurant.
Pictured: Stock image of a woman holding a bill receipt at a restaurant.
frantic00/Getty Images
"When service is completely absent or disrespectful, diners may feel justified in withholding a tip," she told Newsweek, but urged: "Don't walk away in silence. Speak to a manager even when annoyed. This leaves the door open for resolution."
A reduced tip "sends a clear message without cutting off the server's income entirely," and while the man did everything right in waiting, reminding the server and going to the bar himself, "the stronger move would have been to politely flag down a manager when it became clear the Sprite wasn't coming. A calm explanation allows for a real-time fix."
The man told Newsweek he was "surprised" by the response to his post.
"It felt good that the majority of people [agreed] with me, but there were quite a few who didn't, and I understand why," he said.
"I do think it's important to tip people who aren't going to be getting a living wage otherwise, but that doesn't mean you can treat people poorly just because you think they won't tip."
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