Fury at What Waitress Does To Cost Her a Tip on $300 Tab: 'It's Messed Up'
The internet has weighed in after a waitress lost a tip on a $300+ tab for repeatedly failing to bring one thing.
As the man, who chose not to give his name but who posts to Reddit under the username u/Nerd_Rat, told Newsweek: "It's one thing to get bad service, but that was pretty blatant. The initial event really got under my skin. I don't think anybody likes being treated like that."
He explained, in a post to the r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC sub on May 19, that he met a group of friends at a club and sat at their table, where they had already been ordering alcohol and food.
As he wasn't drinking due to being on medication, he asked the waitress for a Sprite—and says "she gave me an awkward smile and said okay."
She then returned 10 minutes later, without his Sprite, and asked his friends if they wanted another round. They ordered a round of shots and reminded her about the Sprite—but she returned with the alcohol, and again without the Sprite.
When the same thing happened again, and he noticed the waitress didn't go to the bar to get his drink even after he asked a third time, he took matters into his own hands. He went to the bar, ordered his Sprite, paid and tipped the bartender, and returned to his seat.
And later, when the waitress came with the bill that he estimated to be around $300 for the entire party, she tried to charge the man for the Sprite she never brought, claiming the bar had transferred the order to her.
He wrote: "I don't know why I was so upset about the Sprite; it's just a Sprite. But my friends were also upset that I was being treated that way, so they all paid their tabs, left no tip, and wrote on the checks, 'You should have brought my friend a Sprite.'"
The man was torn by what happened, as he usually thinks it's "messed up not to leave tips," and he only learned afterwards what his friends had done. But at the same time, he added, "I also don't like being discriminated against because I can't drink alcohol due to my medications."
Reddit users responded in a big way, awarding the post more than 23,000 upvotes, as commenters weighed in. One took the party's side, writing: "I've worked as a bartender, waitress, and a barista. That kind of behavior doesn't just deserve a no tip, it also deserves a call to the bar owner to let them know WHY the waitress didn't get a tip."
Another assured the man he shouldn't feel bad, as "it was up to your friends to leave a tip and they chose not to. She was not catering to the whole party, just the drinkers. I wouldn't have tipped her either," as another pointed out: "This service deserves no tip. Soft drinks and waters take less than 10 seconds to make."
And as one put it: "She didn't provide a service to get tipped for. Your friends saw that she was blatantly ignoring you. That equals no tip."
But etiquette consultant Lisa Mirza Grotts suggested the party could have taken a different approach, as while gratuity is optional, in the United States "it's customary and often expected."
Pictured: Stock image of a woman holding a bill receipt at a restaurant.
Pictured: Stock image of a woman holding a bill receipt at a restaurant.
frantic00/Getty Images
"When service is completely absent or disrespectful, diners may feel justified in withholding a tip," she told Newsweek, but urged: "Don't walk away in silence. Speak to a manager even when annoyed. This leaves the door open for resolution."
A reduced tip "sends a clear message without cutting off the server's income entirely," and while the man did everything right in waiting, reminding the server and going to the bar himself, "the stronger move would have been to politely flag down a manager when it became clear the Sprite wasn't coming. A calm explanation allows for a real-time fix."
The man told Newsweek he was "surprised" by the response to his post.
"It felt good that the majority of people [agreed] with me, but there were quite a few who didn't, and I understand why," he said.
"I do think it's important to tip people who aren't going to be getting a living wage otherwise, but that doesn't mean you can treat people poorly just because you think they won't tip."
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He told me if I made a move, he wouldn't stop me, but I said I wouldn't make a move unless he was ready to start a physical affair. We were at a stalemate, and nothing more (physically) came of it. Then COVID happened, and we quit working together. He slowly stopped speaking to me. I knew it was for the best, but I was borderline heartbroken. I have never felt that level of attraction for anyone else. I look back on it and I don't regret it, because I learned and grew from the experience. But I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. I wonder how his wife would react if she knew what he was doing when they hadn't even been married for a year. Honestly, I still have a soft spot for him and think of him fondly. If he ever left her, I would text him so fast. I sincerely hope that I never feel that way again about a man in a relationship and that I never again engage in any type of affair because it goes against my values and beliefs." —u/glamericanbeauty 8."Around 15 years ago, I reconnected with a childhood friend when he moved to my city. We hung out as friends, and he told me, while drunk, that he had always loved me and only ever been with other women because they reminded him of me. I totally fell for him, and he claimed he was so sad to have committed to his fiancée because he thought he would never see me again." "He always hinted that I was the only woman for him, and that he never really loved her, but was simply stuck. I hung around for a couple of years before I realized he would never leave her. Many years later, they are still together with kids, and I am happily married to someone else. We send each other simple 'Happy Birthday' messages each year, but never talk otherwise." —u/Both_Progress_8410 9."I was 20, and he was older and 'sophisticated.' I was a romantic and thought he loved me — it all seemed terribly exciting and forbidden. When his wife found out, she told me I wasn't the first, and I wouldn't be the last. After she caught us, he ghosted me (as he should)." "Now that I have been married for a long time with grown children, I realize what I did was so messed up, and I feel so bad for that part of my past. I didn't understand what marriage and family meant then." —u/Character_Army386 Related: 10."We had history together. I developed feelings for him, but he started seeing someone else. He and I shared moments that someone in a relationship shouldn't be sharing with anyone else, but we were in college, and I had never dated seriously, so I just tried to enjoy what time he gave me. We only dated for a few months before I ended things. I had a hard time with feeling guilty, and while I didn't want to hurt him, I also couldn't face him afterwards. I eventually left college." "We reconnected later, when my life was spiraling. I wanted to apologize because I knew he had gotten married shortly after I left. I thought I wanted to just connect with someone who understood me because I felt so isolated, but I knew that what I was doing wasn't right. According to him, he and his wife were having problems, and not too long after, she wanted to separate. He was afraid to leave her entirely, but claimed he wanted to be with me. Eventually, we moved in together, but when we started having problems, he began talking to his ex again. We eventually moved back to where I lived before, but my trust in him was long gone. It was a constant back and forth of me not trusting him and him talking to other women. I felt gross, but I had low self-esteem, and I thought he was the best I could get. After he got another woman pregnant and they got engaged, we had a final farewell, and I finally met someone else I enjoyed being around. That was all it took to get me away." —u/Familiar-Still 11."I was 21, he was around 28, and we had sizzling chemistry. I cut his hair at the time. My flirtation crossed the line, and I didn't understand how incredibly screwed up it was. We never did anything physical, but I absolutely would have." "When I got married years later, I was wracked with guilt because I finally understood how awful it was. My now-ex eventually cheated on me, so I got what was coming to me." —u/BoneHugs-n-Pharmacy 12."I thought I was helping him break out of his shell and making him feel like he was worth something. I thought, 'I can fix him.' It didn't help that he showered me with compliments and showed that he wanted me, which was what I had wanted for over a decade. I was lonely, immature, and insecure, and I thought I had finally found a man who wanted me." "It didn't last long because he started hurting me and then love bombing me the next day. I broke up with him, but he would still visit my workplace/apartment. I decided to resign from work, leave my apartment, delete my social media accounts that were linked to him, and cut off communications with our mutual friends." —u/Minimum_Document2022 13."I did this twice, and I feel horrible about it both times: The first time, he was 14 years older than me and cried me a river about how unhappy he was. He seemed so in love with me, and at that time, I thought that I owed no one my loyalty; he broke his vows, and it was his responsibility. We ended up getting married. While we were trying to have a baby, he carried on a year-long affair with someone else. I feel like the universe got me back for that one." "The second time occurred when I was almost divorced from him, and I met a guy who was also almost divorced, or so I thought. He told me his wife was across the country and had been for months. I later discovered that she was pregnant, had only left a week before we started dating, and they were not almost divorced. The guy was a scumbag and told me he wanted to live a life with no responsibilities. Last I heard, he had three children with two women, one of whom was his wife. I've since married a good man. I feel like those were very hard lessons that made me earn him." —u/innessa5 14."We were both in bad marriages. I felt guilty because I liked his wife, but I knew she kept accusing him of cheating, and at that point, he wasn't. (Turns out she was.) My marriage was on the rocks due to my husband withholding affection. I would literally stand naked in front of him and beg for intimacy, only to be turned down." "My affair partner and I ran into each other at a local bar one night, and that's when things happened. We hid the affair for about two months before ultimately breaking it off with our spouses, and we've been together since. We're in our 50s and have both had previous marriages; I'm his third, he's my fourth.. I still feel guilty about cheating because I do think of myself as a 'woman's woman,' but I can't change the past. I'm happier now than I've ever been, and he says he is too and shows me daily." —u/DiddlesTheWino Related: 15."I was in my early 20s, a complete mess with low self-esteem, and freshly out of a long-term relationship with my high school sweetheart. The other party was a coworker in his mid-30s who worked with us for a short while. He was engaged to my boss's boss, but he worked in a different department. I had been told that he was unbelievably attractive, but I didn't understand until I saw him with my own eyes..." "I engaged in the affair because I couldn't believe that a man that gorgeous would even pay attention to me; I was like putty in his hands. Having sex with the fiancée of my boss's boss made my ego explode, and I loved the idea of having a dirty little secret. I was truly just a drunken mess at the time, with zero regard for myself or others or the consequences of my actions. I have since gotten things under control." —u/timefortequila_ 16."I was going through a tough time, and he was my escape from reality. I don't think either of us felt an attraction to each other; we were just two people looking for someone to understand them. And for that reason, the affair never became physical; it was all emotional." "It lasted about two months before the guilt got to me, and I pulled myself out of the dark place. We split ways, and I believe he told his wife later that year, because when I tried to let her know, they had blocked me. I've come to terms with the difference between who I thought I was and who I actually was during that time." —u/yungteatre finally, "When I was 19, I dated a guy who initially told me he was divorced. (I later found out he was only separated.) His wife worked with us, which was weird. He was one of those people who had never been loyal. I wasn't the only one he was seeing, but he was honest about it. Our actual relationship didn't last long, but I continued having sex with him." "The second time was when I met my now-husband. He had a girlfriend, and I was dating another guy, too. One night, my now-husband and I met and talked for a few hours. I went back to his place where we talked all night. We decided to go out the following night, dumped our partners, and hooked up. We moved in together three days later. We've been happily together 23 years and have an 18-year-old. We're very happy and loyal to each other. I have no reason not to trust him." —u/-NeonLux- Did any of these stories surprise you? Have you ever knowingly engaged in an affair with someone? Tell us about in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below! Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds:
