She Gave Her Son a Magical Bedroom. Her Stepdaughter Accused Her of 'Playing Favorites'
A woman seeks advice from the Reddit community following tension in her blended family over how she decorated her children's bedrooms. In her post, the 40-year-old mom opens up about feeling torn between honoring family boundaries and showing equal love to her stepdaughter and biological son.
'I had a very specific vision for my son's room that I'd planned well in advance,' she writes. Her 3-year-old son, her only biological child, now enjoys a whimsical, nature-themed room with ombre-painted walls, a sun-shaped ceiling light, and a tree-shaped bookshelf.
The space is filled with thoughtful touches, like a grassy rug and a floor bed that looks like a tent, designed in a Montessori style. 'I paid for all of this myself,' she explains, emphasizing how important this project was to her.
Her 13-year-old stepdaughter's room tells a different story. Though the woman says she was careful to involve her stepdaughter in the design process, she admits, 'I didn't have much say in that space.'
From the start, she says, her husband, who shares his daughter with an ex, was clear about her role. 'He made it very clear that she already had parents and didn't need another one—what she needed was an advocate and mentor,' she recalls.
She says she respected those boundaries from the beginning and believes they've built a good relationship. 'She's a great kid,' the woman adds, expressing her admiration for the teen.
When it came time to decorate the stepdaughter's room, the woman says they asked what the teen wanted. 'She said she wanted a reading nook, so we created one with a small round mattress, a ton of cushions in her favorite colors, and a mosquito net canopy.'
Her stepdaughter also chose her own wall colors, opting for solid block shades. 'We did the room together,' she says, adding, 'We split the cost 50/50.'
However, the existing furniture in the teen's room, purchased by the father before the woman entered the picture, was left untouched. 'He doesn't see any point in replacing it since it's still in good condition,' she explains, noting that her involvement was limited by both practicality and family dynamics.
Despite her intentions, the woman says her stepdaughter recently got upset after seeing her younger brother's fully finished room. 'She said I clearly put way more effort into his space than hers and accused me of playing favorites because he's 'actually mine.' '
Trying to explain, the woman tells her stepdaughter that she was simply trying to respect her space and not overstep. 'I didn't want to overstep when it came to her room and… she made most of the choices herself.'
But her stepdaughter now feels hurt, and the woman admits, 'I do feel guilty because I can see how, from her perspective, it looks unfair.'
She adds that her goal was never to create a divide or make anyone feel unloved. Yet she's now grappling with how to fix the situation without crossing any emotional or parental boundaries set years ago.
'I'm not her parent,' she reflects, 'and I didn't want to push decisions onto her room.' The guilt, however, is real, and she's left wondering if she should've done more. 'At the same time, I now wonder if I should have tried harder or been more involved.'
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Many Reddit users sympathized with both the woman and the teen. One commenter offered a possible explanation for the teen's reaction, writing, 'Also if she's generally polite and not demanding, she may not have asked for things that seemed too difficult or hard to execute (like the ombré).'
They also suggested a solution that might ease the tension and restore balance. 'It seems like a simple resolution would be to ask the daughter what she'd like to change and for dad to cover the costs (since mum paid for all of the son's room).'
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