9 Habits of Grandparents Who Stay Emotionally Close to Their Grandkids—Even From Far Away
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have their close family members nearby. However, grandparents can have lifelong, positive impacts on children, even if they don't live in the same village (or city or town)."Even from afar—across provinces or countries—grandparents provide what no one else can: a living, breathing connection to a child's family history and where their parents came from," says Dr. Caitlin Slavens, BAACS, MC, R Psych, a psychologist, family, perinatal & child psychologist at Mama Psychologists. "Even if the relationship unfolds over FaceTime or long-distance postcards, the emotional role grandparents play can be grounding—especially if life back home is a lot—or a little—chaotic."Even if home life is going well, psychologists note that grandparents can remain emotionally connected to their grandchildren and make a difference, regardless of their zip codes. And they often share certain traits and behaviors. Here, psychologists share nine habits of grandparents who stay emotionally close to their grandkids—even from far away.Related:
Grandparents with tight-knit relationships with their grandkids are never more than a phone call away—and they've proven that over time by habitually making contact."Even if they are not able to see their grandkids in person, emotionally close grandparents maintain the bond by frequent—at least weekly—voice or video calls," says Dr. Lienna Wilson, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist. "That way, they can see their grandkids age and keep track of all of the important things that are happening in the grandkids' lives."
Part of the conversations during calls or in-person meetings centers around what a kid is into these days."They become curious about what the child loves," Dr. Slavens says. "Even when they don't 'get' Roblox or Pokémon or whatever is currently trending, they make an effort. And children remember that effort. It says, 'I value your world right now.'"Related:
Grandparents are willing to break out their thumbs and hop on Roblox. However, they're also eager to share some of their interests with grandkids, which can turn into bonding experiences and lessons."Some of the best childhood memories that people often involve activities or hobbies that were taught by their grandparents, such as playing chess, fishing or knitting," Dr. Wilson says. "While some of these activities might be difficult to engage in long-distance, creative grandparents can find a way by showing a grandchild how to cook a special dish during a video call or playing a game of virtual chess."
One psychiatrist shares that grandparents may send physical reminders of their love—and not just toys that sing "catchy" kiddie earworms that parents...love. Handwritten letters, care packages and special books with notes inside are a few examples mentioned by Dr. Zishan Khan, MD, a board-certified child psychiatrist with Mindpath Health."Tangible tokens create lasting emotional impressions and can become treasured keepsakes that reinforce emotional closeness," Dr. Khan says. Related:
Dr. Khan reports that storytelling is a powerful way to foster connection between grandparents and grandchildren."Grandparents who share personal childhood stories, family history or even silly anecdotes provide more than entertainment—they create a bridge between generations and a narrative thread that helps grandkids feel connected to something larger than themselves," he explains.
Dr. Khan says that grandparents who want to see and hear their grandchildren are more likely to remain closely bonded. "Grandparents who ask for the child's input—on what games to play, what stories to tell, or what they want to share—empower their grandkids and foster a more mutual relationship," he points out. "This collaborative dynamic is especially important as kids grow into their own identities."Related:
Solid grandparents stay in their lane."They leave parenting to the parents," Dr. Slavens shares. "The grandparents who don't weigh in on discipline or undermine house rules are generally more trusted. That's how emotional connection is constructed—not with control, but mutual respect." FWIW, parents are more likely to want their children to spend time with grandparents who don't circumvent house rules.
All of the above may make these grandparents seem like angels on earth. However, Dr. Slavens wants to remind everyone that no one scores a 10/10 every time—incredible nanas and pop-pops included."A grandparent who gets to say, 'I was wrong,' or 'I didn't get that right,' demonstrates to the child what a real emotional connection is all about," she says. "It shows children that relationships strengthen through being real, not perfect."
When a grandparent's love comes without strings attached, grandchildren are more likely to view them as a secure base to come "home" to emotionally, even if they live far away."They provide unconditional love and support and often serve as confidants when children are afraid to come to their parents when they are in a difficult situation," Dr. Wilson explains. "That's why it is important for grandparents to remain accepting and non-judgmental, even if it might be hard for them to understand their grandchildren's choices, like getting piercings or tattoos."Related:
If you're re-entering a grandchild's life after time away, remember that they've probably changed."If there's been space or silence, don't expect to pick things up exactly where they left off," Dr. Slavens says. "That version of your grandchild may have changed, and that's OK. Get to know who they are now—what makes them laugh, what they care about, how they spend their time. Be curious without pushing. Let them show you where they are at."Related:
Dr. Khan reminds grandparents that frequency and consistency of contact matter. Don't be afraid to make the first move."Be consistent and initiate contact, even if you feel unsure or hesitant," he recommends. "Children thrive on predictability, and regular communication, whether through video calls, postcards or voice messages—helps build a sense of emotional security over time."
This tip can really help you get to know your grandchild."Ask a lot of open-ended questions about your grandchildren's interests," Dr. Wilson says. For instance, she recommends asking, "What are the top three things you like about playing soccer?" rather than "Do you like playing soccer?" The second option only requires a yes or no answer, while the first one gets to the heart of why a child loves playing a sport.
Up Next:Dr. Caitlin Slavens, BAACS, MC, R Psych, a psychologist, family, perinatal & child psychologist at Mama Psychologists
Dr. Lienna Wilson, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist in Princeton, N.J.
Dr. Zishan Khan, MD, a board-certified child psychiatrist with Mindpath Health
9 Habits of Grandparents Who Stay Emotionally Close to Their Grandkids—Even From Far Away first appeared on Parade on Jul 14, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 14, 2025, where it first appeared.
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