Woman Says She Was ‘Utterly Disgusted' with How a Cliquey Mom Treated Her After a Recent ‘Moms Night Out'
A mom says she is 'utterly disgusted' with how another woman treated her after a recent 'moms night out'
The woman — who shared her story on a community forum — said she ended up feeling 'excluded and invisible' during the evening, and ultimately shared her feelings with another mom
The woman said that instead of showing her sympathy, the other woman responded 'aggressively' and told her she had 'issues'A woman said she is "disgusted" by how another mom treated her after a recent night out.
The woman detailed her story in a forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to get advice from other parents on a variety of topics. In her post, titled 'Moms night out, feeling excluded from the clique,' the woman said that she recently went out with some moms in her area.
'I feel somewhat sensitive and a little pressure to try to form friendships locally, as my child has special needs and moved to a new school out of the area,' she explained.
However, she said that the evening didn't go as she had hoped.
'I felt totally excluded,' she said. 'No one really asked me anything about me, and the whole evening was spent feeling excluded and invisible.'
She added, 'I found the dynamic difficult.'
The original poster (OP) said that at the end of the evening, one of the other moms asked her how her night had gone, and the OP said she 'told her the truth,' telling the other woman that she 'largely felt excluded as everyone knows each other better.'
The OP said that the other mom 'responded fairly aggressively' to her honest comment. She then said that she has since received a message from the other woman letting her know that she 'won't make my child's birthday party' and that the woman 'implied I had issues to resolve.'
'I feel utterly disgusted,' the OP added. 'I thought I would get some compassion and there would be some understanding that a new mom [might] find it hard to enter an already formed friendship group.'
'I'm happy to end the connection with her, but worried she will now influence the rest of the group and other moms to break off contact with me,' the OP said.
'Is this normal? Is this awful mom behavior? Or am I in the wrong somewhere?' the woman asked at the end of her post, before admitting, 'I regret being honest.'
The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!
The majority of post commenters said that they thought both parties were somewhat to blame in the situation. Many said that they thought the other mom was wrong to skip a child's birthday party, while also saying that the OP may have come off as rude.
'I doubt anyone was purposefully excluding you on the night out,' one person said.
The same person added, 'People just gravitate to what's most comfortable, [and] that is chatting to the person next to them that they already know … It was a bit accusatory of you to say you weren't made to feel welcome, as it implies people were actively making you feel unwelcome. And [the other woman], in that moment, [was] making an effort to chat to you!'
Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
'It takes time to get to know people,' said someone else. 'You weren't 'in' on many things as you don't know the group. Surely over time you would be? Making new friends takes effort and time.'
Another person said, 'You were quite rude to say that — what was she supposed to say or do? I wouldn't have canceled the party, but I wouldn't be extending invitations to another evening out.'
Read the original article on People
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
43 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Centre finally finds friend for lonely orphaned owl
A lonely owlet rescued by a wildlife centre in Devon has finally found a friend. Moorlands Wildlife Centre said the tawny owl, named Gizmo, was found orphaned in Branscombe Woods and taken to the rescue centre via Sidmouth Vets on the 28 May. Gizmo was becoming lonely and too used to human interaction, so the centre put a call out to the Devon Wildlife Rescue group, vets and the Barn Owl Trust in Ashburton to find an owl of a similar age to pair her with. Tony Bennet, from Moorlands Wildlife Centre, said they managed to pair Gizmo with a fellow orphaned tawny owl named Grommit which was found abandoned on a road in Exmouth. Mr Bennet said the small bird looked like a "fluffy toy" when it arrived at the rescue centre and was progressing nicely under their care. "We fed her and looked after her very carefully," he said. "She didn't have to be enclosed much as she wasn't very mobile but within a week's time, she had almost doubled in size. "They do bond very quickly with humans and they begin to think they are humans, or they will go to humans for food and won't bother looking for food. "Whereas if they are with another owl, they will behave as if they are in the wild. "When we just had Gizmo, for company, we put a mirror in her cage and she used to sit and talk to the mirror, like a parrot, but obviously she wasn't getting a lot of feedback, so she is behaving a lot more naturally now." Mr Bennet said introducing the pair could have "easily gone wrong" but they took to one another straight away. "They make a cute little couple of owlets," he said. It is hoped the owls will be released together from the Moorlands Wildlife Centre in September if they can raise money to build a bigger enclosure. He said: "We will be putting out food for them on a regular basis until they can learn how to forage themselves in the wild and hopefully add to the local population of tawny owls." The centre, which is run solely by Mr Bennet and his wife Claire, officially opened in December 2024 and has helped about 200 wild animals including hedgehogs, beavers, fox cubs and birds. "As an organisation we don't have any animals that are not able to be released back into the wild, we are not a zoo or a visitor centre," he said. Follow BBC Devon on X, Facebook and Instagram. Send your story ideas to spotlight@ Rescued owls 'better off left in wild' say experts Woman helps keep baby owl alive Bonzo the therapy owl swoops into care home Moorlands Wildlife Centre
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
How to handle toxic in-laws, according to a clinical psychologist
Dr Sheri Jacobson has a PhD in counselling and psychotherapy, and a degree in cognitive behavioural therapy. She worked for many years as a senior therapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, as well as for MIND, MENCAP, a women's centre and the NHS. She is the founder of Harley Therapy. It's rare to find a family without at least some conflict between first-degree relatives. Imagine, then, the whole extra layer that can come with in-laws. We haven't known these people since childhood, and aren't as acclimatised to their ways. Getting used to this can take time. The gaining of an in-law represents a significant shift in the dynamics of your family. But while people often dwell on the difficulties that arrive with their in-laws, it's important first to note the positives in your by-marriage relationships. Your in-laws can give you social, practical and financial support. They're often sounding boards, or can help you with the day-to-day challenges of getting older. In-laws often increase the diversity of the types of personalities in your circle. Plus, this wider family often shares important experiences: celebrating joyful occasions, such as weddings and graduations, and offering support in times of bereavement. That said, there can often be tensions and difficulties involving hierarchy and power structures. People are often used to interacting in specific ways with certain dynamics at play, and it can take time to recalibrate to a new family set-up. Our loyalties and allegiances often realign – for example, if a close sibling gets married, that can lead to feelings of envy towards their new spouse if they aren't confiding in us as much. Families have different styles. On top of this, every individual brings into the mix their own underlying patterns of behaviour shaped by their unique past experiences. These can sometimes manifest in less desirable behaviours, such attention-seeking, wilfulness, manipulation or sulking. Whatever the reason for conflict, the same principles and values apply. Always try to start with compassion and empathy: aiming to understand, as opposed to being judgemental. This is the best way to de-escalate a situation, so it becomes less threatening to everyone. Here are four common in-law scenarios, and how to defuse them. 'I know him better than you'; 'he doesn't like it when you do things that way' – a mother-in-law's possessiveness is often driven by an underlying anxiety. Perhaps she senses her adult child is being 'taken away', and she still wants to be included. A mother might behave in a controlling way or use 'guilt-tripping' in order to remain relevant and central to her child's life. In all in-law relationships, there's the possibility of divided loyalties – that the wife is 'against' the mother, or vice versa. There's no right way to deal with this. Some people prefer to speak directly to their in-laws, and others prefer to enlist support from outside. The most important thing is for the couple to safeguard their own relationship – to discuss and air their views about this problem in non-belligerent ways. An opening comment such as: 'When your mother criticises my cooking, I feel undermined' might be helpful, and then take it from there. The key here is to explain how you are feeling, and open a discussion. If, as is often the case, your mother-in-law's behaviour is driven by anxiety, the best way to counter this is to make her feel included (while also making sure she doesn't take over). For example, if it's your anniversary dinner, and she tries to invite herself, say something like: 'We'd love you to be there, but tonight is just for the two of us. Let's do something separate next week.' Start by putting yourself in your daughter-in-law's place, to try and understand the root of why she's behaving like this. Perhaps she's trying to assert her independence, or establish a position within a new family hierarchy. Or maybe a memory of her earlier experiences is being played out: it could be that she was neglected when she was younger, or quite the opposite – she's used to being the centre of attention. Either way, it's difficult to cope with a daughter-in-law when she's demanding, 'drive me here', or 'I need this, now', especially if this squeezes out the preferences of other people. Your son's self-involved wife might also disengage, appear aloof or prioritise her own family over yours, which can lead to a lot of upset and sullen family dinners. This is a hard situation to manage and it's important to be sensitive. Family ruptures can happen easily. Though it has to be said that, in some contexts, the cycle of rupture and repair – heated arguments followed by making up – is not uncommon. Communication is nearly always a good idea, but be careful not to accuse your daughter-in-law of anything directly. Instead of: 'You always cancel when I plan a dinner, but you never cancel on your own family – that's not fair,' consider saying: 'I feel sad when you don't come to our dinners, as family time is special to us. Is there something about our gatherings that makes you feel unwelcome?' If you'd rather avoid such disclosures, or feel that this type of communication won't lead anywhere, my advice would be to work on acceptance of the situation. Realise that it might never really change. Some people maintain some distance to protect themselves from emotional strain. The alternative is to lower your expectations – appreciating that your daughter-in-law's behaviour might be linked to her past experiences rather than being personal. Sometimes, it can help to vent to a third party, such as a close friend or a therapist, who can hear you out and support you to better manage the situation. This can cover a wide spectrum from, 'let me drive' to a partner who takes total economic control, or restricts his wife from having a social life of her own. In a milder scenario, this may manifest with your son-in-law by arguing with your child's opinions, or by being dismissive of them. Various things can drive this sort of behaviour, including a perceived threat to the man's authority, or uncertainty of his place in the family hierarchy. In certain cultures, the 'husband in charge' scenario is more accepted, and this can be harder to question or challenge. Whatever the cause, it can be important to keep an eye on a bossy son-in law, as in its most serious form, damaging control can escalate. 'Let's not see your family today' can swiftly become: 'I'm better with money than you are, let me look after the account.' As a parent, it's important to look out for signs of overly domineering and manipulative behaviour. If you find that your daughter seems unrecognisable from her usual self, or she seems nervous, silent or on edge, you may want to intervene. This is a difficult situation, as you may see a problem and your child may not, and attempting to point it out could push her further away. Bring up the problem gently: don't accuse or point fingers. Say something like: 'I know you are devoted to your husband, but I'm concerned in seeing some of the ways he is with you. I care about you greatly, and I'm here for you regardless. Whenever you are ready, I would like to help.' If your son-in-law becomes menacing or abusive – whether violently or otherwise – seek support from the relevant professional services. Whether the inappropriate behaviour is aimed at you personally – or in a more general sense – there are ways of dealing with it. It's not uncommon for older relatives to have 'blind spots', owing to the generation in which they grew up – they just don't see the world in the same way as you do. If your partner's father is being racist or lascivious to the people around you, a comment such as: 'Remember, we don't use those sorts of comments today' might help, delivered in an approachable tone. If you are feeling personally targeted, then it's important to set boundaries. Say to your father-in-law: 'I know you mean well, but it's not OK to comment on my low-cut dress.' Or, 'I don't like it when you come up and hug me – I hope you understand.' It's also important to let your partner know you feel a bit nervous around his dad. All of this can be hard to do. But you aren't only looking after yourself: you are also prioritising safety for younger family members, and guarding them from inappropriate sexual or pejorative comments. Reshaped families can add much to our lives, and all the more so when we consider the feelings of every single member. As told to Miranda Levy Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
Washington Post
2 hours ago
- Washington Post
My friend stopped talking to me. What should I do?
'I had a falling out with a decades-old friend, whom I considered family, and now she won't talk to me. I don't know what life is without her in it. What do I do now?' I have been asked variations on this question by numerous people, as they struggled to figure out how to carry on after the end of a relationship. Whether it's a romantic partner, friend or family member, when important people are no longer part of our lives, it can feel as though our center of gravity has been shifted, leaving us aimless and adrift.
