Anupam Kher says long-distance marriage with Kirron Kher doesn't bother him much, Neena Gupta feels she's too practical to love

Indian Express

17 hours ago

Anupam Kher and Neena Gupta studied at the National School of Drama at the same time in the late 1970s. They went on to do Rakesh Bedi's long-running play Mera Woh Matlab Nahi Tha years later. They've also acted in two films together in 2022 — Sooraj Barjatya's Uunchai and Ajayan Venugopalan's Shiv Shastri Balboa.
Now, they've been paired together again in Anurag Basu's Metro…In Dino, the spiritual sequel to his 2007 anthology romance Life in a… Metro. They play college batchmates, who never fructified their infatuation for each other, who meet years later at a college reunion and give their romance another chance.
In an exclusive interview with SCREEN, the two actors talk about their NSD and theatre days, successful and failed relationships, and their equation with Mumbai today.
Do you remember when you first met each other?
Anupam: In National School of Drama, the boys and girls had the same hostel. She was one year junior to me. She came to the sink to wash her glass, that's when I first met her. I also used to see her walking to a shop near Mandi House. I wasn't one of those who'd get noticed. She was easy to spot. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a memory of me.
Neena: (Laughs) I can't recall.
Anupam: We made most of the memories working on the stage together. Otherwise there are so many classmates and seniors that you don't remember each of them.
Neena: And he's been very busy working all the time. I also remember him from the show mostly.
Since you're both NSD graduates and have worked together extensively on stage, was it easy to adapt to Anurag Basu's impromptu style of working?
Neena: Yes. If someone gives us dialogues last minute, we won't have to say 'Excuse me,' go into a corner, and mug up our lines. We can do that on the spot, especially in Hindi. If it's a scene in English, then I may take time. But since this was in Hindi, we were very happy.
Anupam: Also, Anurag's characters in this film come from a common man's life. We already know what our characters are like. Without realizing, we've worked like theatre in this film. Even in the case of Shiv Shastri Balboa, we did that. That film can be adapted into a very good play. So that's the advantage of being experienced, educated actors. We can incorporate our experiences into these films which we probably can't in others.
Neena, you said at the trailer launch that you've never fallen in love. What is the gold standard of love for you?
Neena: I don't know. I got to know what love means when Masaba (Gupta, daughter) was born. That's the only love I know. I haven't been able to wrap around any other kind of love so far. Maybe I'm too practical to love or be loved. I get worried a lot if there's a problem in me. When I watch love stories or shows from the West, then I wonder why I don't feel like dying for someone.
Anupam: I think falling in love with somebody is an extension of falling in love with yourself. That's why when you say 'I love to you' to someone, you feel like hearing 'I love you too.' There's a sense of belonging. I've had many relationships. It's a beautiful feeling in the initial stages, but a very unhappy feeling in the last few years.
Anupam, do you think Neena is being too hard on herself?
Anupam: No, she knows her life better than anyone else. Who am I to say that?
Neena: I've liked people and been with them, sometimes for years, sometimes for short periods. But they've never lived up to my expectations.
When you had Masaba, the late Satish Kaushik proposed to marry you in order to save you from social stigma. Where do you find men like that?
Neena: But that's a friend's love. I can fall in love with anyone — my neighbour, my dog, my staff, my cook, my friends. Sometimes, love in friendship is something else only.
Anupam: Unfortunately, the concept of love has been reduced to a boy and a girl. But you also love your parents, siblings, friends, and pets. So it's not necessary that a love story can be between only a man and a woman.
Anupam, your relationship with Kirron Kher has evolved from friendship to a long-distance marriage. How have you fallen in love with her over and over again, like Metro…In Dino urges you to?
Anupam: Yes, we were the best of friends. She was married to Gautam (Berry), Sikandar's father. And I was in a relationship. And then, we finally got married. Yes, there's a lot of strength in love, but there's so much else to do as well. There's mutual acceptance and understanding. Love from plays like Romeo Juliet, Shirin Farhad, and films like Aashiqui is very difficult in practical life. You do feel you can't live without somebody. I'm not saying this cynically, but you do divorce that person eventually and then say 'I love you, I want to love you' to another person with the same passion. So, that's a human folly.
The trailer of Metro…In Dino tells us that a city which gives us a lot also takes a lot away from us in return. Anupam, you recently celebrated your 44th anniversary of relocating to Mumbai at the trailer launch. Neena, you told me earlier that the smell of the sea, that you first experienced when you arrived in Mumbai, now reminds you of missed opportunities. What is your current relationship with the city?
Neena: It's become a habit now. Good or bad, my husband is my God. Mumbai is my God now. I can't help it anymore (laughs).
Anupam: Mumbai is a very intoxicating city. It's like a security blanket. There's no other city in the world, other than New York to an extent, which is so generous. It gives at least one chance to everyone who comes here. It's true that if you've lived here, you can't live anywhere else. It's truly bindaas.
Neena: I have an electrician who does all my chores, including plumbing. Since I don't have any gents at my home, I even call Motilal to repair a fuse. When I offer him money, he says, 'Baad mein le lunga.' And then he doesn't take money for even six months. Have you seen anything like that anywhere else? That is love.
Anupam: But Mumbai is very dominating in the beginning. Because you're part of the crowd. But any kind of a person can live here. I haven't seen anyone starve to death here. Someone was telling me vada pao has been one of the top seven meals of the world. I've had so much vada pao myself!
Neena: Me too (smiles).
Neena, in the trailer, your character's daughter, played by Konkona Sen Sharma, tells you she never wanted to be like you but has invariably ended up becoming like you. How have you ensured that Masaba also takes her own decisions instead of being influenced by yours?
Neena: Yes, I'm very careful about that. I do know that she won't become like me, but I'm alert about it. It's always on my mind somewhere. But I don't have to say anything to her. At a young age, kids don't listen to you anyway. Even she didn't. But now, she's a bit more composed. So it happens organically. I don't give her any instructions.
Anupam, you're directing a film Tanvi The Great after 23 years. Neena, you also turned director with the TV show Saans in 1998. Was direction a natural progression for both of you?
Anupam: I directed a film after 23 years because I had something to say. I made Om Jai Jagdish in 2002, where the story wasn't mine, but I was excited to be given the task of directing it. This time, I wanted to share a story wholeheartedly. Since I returned to direction after working as an actor for so many years, I wanted to tell this story from my heart, and chose great people to work with. It's been one of the finest experiences of my life to direct Tanvi The Great.
Neena: When I was doing TV, I had to do a lot of roles and projects I didn't like. I used to crib a lot then. So a friend suggested why don't I make a show and write a good role for myself. That's when I made Saans. But now, itni achchhi dukan chal rahi hai acting ki main yahin rehna chahti hoon. Why should I go anywhere else? I'm very satisfied with what I'm doing.
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Finally, your character says in the trailer that age is just a number. At this point of your respective careers, what's the ambition?
Anupam: We've just begun. You're talking to people who actually think age is just a number. I can speak on her behalf also that we're proving it to the world. Because when you feel it yourself, you know there's a lot more to achieve. We never hide our age, but this is the time when we've started to know each other well. Once that happens, you either love yourself or hate yourself. We love ourselves and are very proud of the journey we've taken, but there's so much more to do.
Metro…In Dino is slated to release in cinemas on July 4.