This seemingly harmless clue is a telltale sign your partner is cheating, private investigator says
Oftentimes, suspicious partners will look through a person's text messages, emails or other messaging systems to catch them in the act.
In doing so, private investigator Paul Jones from ARF Private Investigators shared with The Sun specific clues to be on the lookout for.
If you're tempted to sneakily read through your partner's conversations on messaging apps like WhatsApp and Snapchat — popular options for cheaters — random, innocent-looking emojis could be a dead giveaway that your partner isn't being faithful.
If you come across messages specifically with the croissant or padlock emojis in them — you might be in for a rude awakening.
'On the surface, it might look innocent, but there's usually a deeper meaning,' he told the outlet.
'We've had people using a croissant emoji as a way of saying 'meet me for breakfast', or the letter emoji as a subtle 'text me when you're free.''
Before you panic, an occasional use of these emojis might not mean much — but if the majority of messages include them, you most likely have a cheater on your hands.
'Used once or twice they don't mean much,' Jones told The Sun.
'But when you see them appearing regularly in chats with the same person, especially late at night, they start to mean something more.'
If something feels off — it's best to confront your significant other about your suspicions.
Getting cheated on is a devastating experience and psychotherapist and sex therapist of 45 years, Esther Perel, shared the one reason behind why many people do it.
While sometimes people stray from relationships because of… 'rejection, betrayal, disconnection, or alienation. Loneliness is a big one. Other times, the reasons are internal and have little to do with the relationship itself,' she told the Telegraph.
But she believes the main reason behind infidelity is 'deadness' in a relationship — which is when a partner feels like the other person no longer cares about them.
As a result, the person feeling this way will look elsewhere to feel 'alive' again.
'It means exploration, discovery, active engagement with the unknown, and being alive. It's a good entry point,' Perel said.
To avoid this, Perel advises couples to show curiosity about one another and ask questions — even if you think you know your significant other well and have been with them for years.
'Do you know how many people go out with friends, see their partner talking about a movie or band or experience, and then in the car or on the train, they ask, 'Who is picking up Johnny tomorrow after school?' or 'Did you get the groceries?' From there, not wanting to have sex or feeling distant isn't far behind.'
People's interests, needs and wants often change in a relationship, since people evolve and grow over time. As a result, Perel said to never stop exploring one another as individuals.
'It's about giving your partner the chance to see you and themselves in a new light,' she said.
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They Make You Feel Guilty For Saying No A relationship takes a turn for the worse when guilt becomes a frequent visitor. If saying no to someone results in you feeling guilty or being made to feel bad, that's a big red flag. Everyone has the right to say no, and a respectful friend or partner will understand and accept your decision. If they try to guilt-trip you into doing what they want, it shows a lack of respect for your boundaries. You shouldn't have to do things out of obligation or fear of their reaction. Recognize the emotional toll this behavior can take on you. It can lead to resentment, affect your self-esteem, and even strain other relationships. It's important to have the courage to stand firm on your boundaries and communicate how their behavior affects you. A genuine relationship should be free of manipulation and should not make you feel bad for prioritizing yourself. If they continue this behavior, it may be time to distance yourself. 5. They Rarely Show Appreciation Feeling unappreciated can be a major sign that someone is using you. If they rarely say thank you or acknowledge your efforts, it could mean they take you for granted. Research by psychologist Dr. Amie M. Gordon at the University of California, Berkeley, highlights that showing gratitude in relationships is crucial for both satisfaction and longevity. If appreciation is lacking, it might indicate they don't regard your contributions as valuable. Gratitude should be a regular part of any healthy relationship, not an occasional afterthought. Think back to the last time they genuinely thanked you or did something to show their appreciation. If those moments are few and far between, it's a sign they might be more focused on what they can gain rather than what they can give. A thank you or a small gesture of appreciation can go a long way in making someone feel valued. If this is missing in your relationship, it's a conversation worth having. Without appreciation, a relationship can quickly become one-sided and unfulfilling. 6. They Disappear When You Need Them It's telling when someone is always unavailable when you need support or assistance. If they suddenly vanish at the first sign of you needing something, it suggests they're not invested in the relationship. Support should be mutual, with both parties ready to lend a hand when necessary. You shouldn't feel like you're facing struggles alone when you thought you had someone to rely on. If they're always missing when you need them, it might be a clear sign of their priorities. Reflect on times when you reached out for support or advice and consider their response. If they consistently make excuses or avoid the conversation, it's a red flag. True friends or partners are there for each other through thick and thin, not just when it's convenient. If they can't be there for you, it might be time to reevaluate how much effort you're putting into the relationship. You deserve to have people around you who care about you and are there when it counts. 7. They Avoid Deep Or Meaningful Conversations If someone is using you, they might steer clear of deep or meaningful conversations. These conversations require a level of emotional investment and vulnerability that someone with selfish intentions might want to avoid. According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, meaningful communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, fostering understanding and connection. When someone avoids these deeper discussions, it may be because they aren't interested in forming a deeper bond. Without meaningful interactions, the relationship can feel superficial and hollow. Consider the quality of your conversations with them. Are they surface-level, focusing on small talk or mundane topics? If you try to steer the conversation into more meaningful territory, do they shut down or change the subject? This avoidance can be a sign that they're not interested in truly knowing you or being known themselves. Relationships require depth and connection, and if that's lacking, it might not be the relationship you thought it was. 8. They Frequently Make Promises They Don't Keep Promises should mean something, but if someone is frequently breaking them, it's a sign they might be using you. Making promises they don't keep shows a lack of respect for your time and trust. It's easy to make promises, but following through is what really counts. When promises are consistently broken, it can erode trust and leave you feeling disappointed. If someone values you, they'd make an effort to stick to their word and be reliable. You've probably experienced the cycle of getting your hopes up, only to be let down repeatedly. This behavior can lead to frustration and a sense of betrayal over time. While everyone makes mistakes, a pattern of broken promises is hard to ignore. Talk to them about how their behavior affects you and see if they're willing to change. If they continue to disregard their promises, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. 9. They Take Credit For Your Ideas Or Efforts If someone is quick to take credit for your ideas or efforts, it's a strong indicator that they're using you. This behavior can be particularly damaging in professional settings or collaborative projects. When someone takes credit for your hard work, it shows a lack of integrity and respect. It might seem flattering at first, but over time, it becomes clear they're leveraging your efforts for their own gain. This can be incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. Reflect on whether you've been in situations where your input or hard work has been overshadowed by someone else taking credit. This can occur subtly, with them presenting your ideas as their own, or blatantly, where they outright claim ownership. If they consistently fail to acknowledge your contributions, it's a conversation worth having. Addressing this directly can set boundaries and ensure your work is recognized. Remember that you deserve to be credited for your contributions and efforts. 10. They Use Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail is a manipulative tactic that someone using you might employ. This involves using your emotions against you to get what they want. They might make you feel guilty, afraid, or obligated to meet their demands. This form of manipulation can be subtle, making it hard to recognize at first. However, over time, it can wear you down and lead to a toxic relationship dynamic. Recognize if you often feel guilty or anxious after interacting with them. If they're using your emotions as leverage, it's a clear sign of manipulation. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding, not coercion or guilt. 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A supportive relationship thrives on mutual encouragement and celebration. If they're not interested in sharing your joy, it might be a sign that they're more focused on their own interests. 12. They Make You Feel Insecure Someone using you might intentionally or unintentionally make you feel insecure. This could be through backhanded compliments, criticism, or comparing you to others. It's a tactic that can keep you off balance and more reliant on their approval. However, no one should ever make you feel less than or unworthy. Your self-esteem shouldn't depend on someone else's validation. Think about whether you often feel worse about yourself after spending time with them. If their words or actions consistently chip away at your confidence, it's a red flag. Healthy relationships should uplift and empower you, not undermine your self-worth. Discuss how their behavior affects you and see if they're willing to change. If not, it might be time to prioritize relationships that bring positivity into your life. 13. They Prioritize Their Needs Over Yours In a balanced relationship, both parties should consider each other's needs. If someone consistently prioritizes their needs over yours, it indicates a lack of mutual respect. Your needs and desires are just as important as theirs. It's crucial to find a balance where both of you can feel valued and heard. When their needs are always center stage, it suggests they're more focused on their well-being than the health of the relationship. Reflect on past interactions and whether their needs always seemed to take precedence. If you're always compromising or sacrificing your own needs, it's worth addressing. Healthy relationships require compromise from both parties, not just one. Communicate openly about your needs and see if they're willing to find a better balance. If not, it might be time to reevaluate the dynamics of the relationship. 14. They Manipulate Situations To Their Advantage Manipulating situations to benefit themselves is a clear indication that someone might be using you. This behavior involves bending the truth or altering circumstances to gain an upper hand. It's a sign that they're prioritizing their interests over honesty and fairness. This kind of manipulation can be subtle and hard to detect at first. However, it often leaves you feeling out of control or at a disadvantage. Think about whether you've noticed patterns of manipulation in your interactions. If situations often seem to conveniently benefit them, it might not be a coincidence. This behavior undermines trust and can make the relationship feel unstable. It's crucial to address manipulation head-on and insist on honesty and transparency. If they're unwilling to change, it might be time to reconsider their role in your life. 15. 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People need time and space to process their emotions, and rushing them can be counterproductive. Encourage your friend to express themselves and explore their feelings without pressure to move on quickly. Offer empathy and understanding as they navigate their emotions. This approach fosters a deep sense of trust and reinforces your bond. Remember, patience and empathy are vital in maintaining strong friendships. 2. "You're Completely Overreacting." Telling someone they always overreact is like pouring salt on a wound. It dismisses their feelings and suggests that they're consistently irrational. According to a study by Dr. John Gottman from the Gottman Institute, invalidating someone's feelings can create emotional distance and lead to the deterioration of the relationship. Instead of blaming them for having strong emotions, try to understand why they feel that way. Open a dialogue that allows them to explain their perspective without feeling judged. A friend who feels like they can't express themselves will eventually stop trying. Over time, this can create an unspoken barrier in your relationship. If they come to you in distress, the best approach is to listen actively and empathetically. Validate their emotions and offer support instead of criticism. Remember, supportive communication is the bedrock of any lasting friendship. 3. "I Told You So." Nobody likes to feel like a failure, and "I told you so" is a surefire way to make your friend feel just that. It's tempting to say when you're proven right, but it comes off as smug and unsupportive. Your friend probably already feels regretful about the situation, and rubbing it in their face only adds insult to injury. Instead, offer them a safe space to process what happened and encourage them to learn from it. This approach affirms your role as a supportive friend rather than a judge. Your friend knows you were right, and repeating it only serves to highlight their mistake. It might make you feel good in the moment, but it chips away at the trust between you. Encourage your friend to reflect on the situation and discuss what they might do differently next time. This not only strengthens your friendship but also helps them see you as a reliable source of support. Always remember that being right isn't more important than being kind. 4. "You Shouldn't Feel That Way." Telling someone how they should or shouldn't feel can be damaging. It's like saying their perception of the world is wrong, which can be deeply invalidating. Renowned psychologist Dr. Brene Brown has emphasized the importance of empathy in relationships, suggesting that understanding and validating feelings are crucial to maintaining strong connections. When your friend is upset, the last thing they need is to be told that their emotions are incorrect. Instead, acknowledge their feelings and ask how you can help or support them. Everyone has their own emotional landscape, shaped by their unique experiences. By telling them how they should feel, you're essentially negating their personal history. Always aim to be empathetic and supportive, creating an environment where they feel safe expressing themselves. Ask open-ended questions to deepen your understanding of their feelings. This approach fosters a sense of trust and security in your friendship. 5. "You're Too Sensitive." Labeling someone as "sensitive" often carries a negative connotation, suggesting that they're overly emotional or weak. This kind of language can make your friend feel like their feelings are a burden or inconvenience. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlights the impact of perceived insensitivity on emotional well-being, underscoring the importance of validating emotions in friendships. Instead of critiquing their sensitivity, appreciate the depth of their emotional understanding. It takes strength to feel deeply and express those feelings openly. When you belittle someone's emotions, you risk creating a barrier that limits open communication. A sensitive friend can offer insights and empathy that others might overlook. Encourage their emotional expression as a strength, not a flaw. Support their capacity for empathy by being an active listener and showing compassion. This approach will deepen your connection and foster a more supportive friendship. 6. "It's No Big Deal." Dismissing a friend's concerns with "it's no big deal" can be hurtful. It might seem like you're helping them gain perspective, but you're actually minimizing their experience. What might not be a big deal to you could be significant to them, and it's important to recognize that difference. Instead of brushing off their worries, ask questions to understand why it matters to them. This approach shows that you value their perspective and are willing to support them through it. Friends come to each other for validation and support, not judgment. When you dismiss their concerns, you risk making them feel isolated or misunderstood. Encourage open dialogue by acknowledging their experiences and feelings. By doing so, you help them feel seen and heard, strengthening the bond between you. Remember, empathy goes a long way in maintaining healthy friendships. 7. "Calm Down." Telling someone to calm down is rarely effective and often feels dismissive. It implies that their emotions are excessive or unjustified, which can escalate their feelings rather than soothe them. According to communication expert Dr. Deborah Tannen, such phrases can exacerbate tension and foster feelings of resentment in personal relationships. Instead of demanding calm, offer a listening ear and express genuine concern for their well-being. This approach demonstrates empathy and can help de-escalate the situation naturally. When emotions run high, what your friend needs most is understanding, not a command to temper their feelings. Encourage them to share what's on their mind, and validate their emotions without judgment. This fosters an environment where they feel safe expressing their true selves. Being patient and supportive can help transform a tense moment into an opportunity for deeper connection. It's about being present and offering reassurance when they need it most. 8. "I Wouldn't Worry About It." Dismissing someone's worries with "I wouldn't worry about it" can feel like you're brushing off their concerns. It's important to remember that everyone handles stress differently, and what might not cause you anxiety could be a huge deal for someone else. Instead of negating their feelings, ask them why they're worried and what you can do to help. This approach creates a space where they feel safe to express their concerns. By validating their feelings, you strengthen your role as a supportive friend. When your friend shares their worries, they're seeking reassurance and understanding. Offer them a listening ear and acknowledge their concerns as valid. Discuss potential solutions or coping mechanisms together. This collaborative approach not only helps them manage their worries but also reinforces the trust between you. Remember, friendship is a two-way street, built on mutual support and empathy. 9. "You're So Dramatic." Labeling someone as dramatic can feel like an attack on their character, reducing their complex emotions to a single trait. It implies that their reactions are exaggerated or unnecessary, which can be incredibly invalidating. Instead of labeling, try to understand the root cause of their emotions and offer support. Ask questions and listen without judgment to get a fuller picture of what they're experiencing. This approach fosters a deeper understanding and strengthens your friendship. People express themselves in various ways, and what's dramatic to one person might be a genuine reaction for another. Encourage your friend to express their emotions freely without fear of ridicule. Validate their feelings by showing empathy and offering a helping hand. By doing so, you create a safe space where they feel valued and understood. It's this kind of supportive environment that nurtures strong, resilient friendships. 10. "Why Don't You Just...?" Offering advice with "why don't you just...?" can come off as dismissive. It suggests that the solution is simple and that your friend is overcomplicating things. While your intentions might be good, this phrase can make them feel belittled or misunderstood. Instead, ask if they want advice or just someone to listen. This approach respects their autonomy and shows that you're there to support them, not dictate their actions. Everyone faces challenges differently, and a one-size-fits-all solution isn't always helpful. Encourage open discussion about the issue at hand and explore potential solutions together. This not only respects their ability to handle their own problems but also strengthens your role as a supportive friend. By being a partner in their problem-solving process, you build a more trusting and collaborative relationship. Remember, empathy and understanding go a long way in maintaining close friendships. 11. "You're Lucky; It Could Be Worse." Telling someone it could be worse seems like a perspective shift, but it often backfires. It can make your friend feel guilty for having their own struggles, even if they seem minor compared to others. Instead of minimizing their issues, acknowledge their feelings and offer a listening ear. Recognize that everyone's struggles are valid, regardless of magnitude. This approach fosters a safe environment where they feel free to express themselves without fear of judgment. Empathy is about meeting someone where they are, not where you think they should be. By brushing off their problems, you risk alienating them or making them feel misunderstood. Offer your support and understanding, showing that you value their feelings. This strengthens your friendship and assures them that you're there for them, no matter what. Remember, compassion and understanding are key to nurturing lasting friendships. 12. "That's Not My Problem." When a friend comes to you with a problem, dismissing it as "not my problem" can be hurtful. While it's true that you're not responsible for solving all their issues, offering support is crucial. Instead of distancing yourself, ask how you can help or if they need someone to talk to. This approach shows that you care and are willing to be there for them, even if you can't fix everything. It's about being a pillar of support rather than a closed door. Friendship is about being there for each other through thick and thin. Even if a problem feels outside your realm, offering empathy and understanding can make a significant difference. Encourage open communication and let them know you're there to listen. This helps build a strong foundation of trust and mutual support. Remember, being a good friend is about showing up, not having all the answers. 13. "You're Just Like Your [Negative Relation]." Comparisons can be flattering, but not when they're linked to negative traits or people. Telling a friend they're just like someone they don't admire can trigger insecurities or defensiveness. It can feel like you're saying they're destined to repeat the mistakes of that person and that change is impossible. Instead of drawing comparisons, focus on your friend as an individual with their own unique traits. Highlight the positive aspects of their personality and encourage their growth. People are constantly evolving, and pigeonholing them based on someone else's behavior is unfair. It can make your friend feel trapped in a narrative they didn't choose. Offer support by acknowledging their strengths and the positive steps they're taking. Everyone deserves the opportunity to grow beyond their past or the negative examples set by others. Be the friend who sees their potential, not their limitations. 14. "You're Overthinking It." Labeling someone as an overthinker can feel like a critique of their problem-solving abilities. It implies that their thought process is flawed or excessive, which can be disheartening. Instead of labeling, encourage a conversation about their concerns and offer support. Ask questions to understand their thought process and help them find clarity. This approach fosters a deeper connection and strengthens your friendship. Overthinking often comes from a place of worry or uncertainty, and dismissing it can exacerbate those feelings. Encourage your friend to share their thoughts and explore potential solutions together. This not only respects their thought process but also strengthens your role as a supportive friend. By being a compassionate listener, you build a more trusting and collaborative relationship. Remember, empathy and understanding go a long way in maintaining close friendships. 15. "You'll Get Over It." Telling someone they'll get over it might seem like encouragement, but it often feels dismissive. It suggests that their current emotions are temporary and not worth taking seriously. Instead of brushing off their feelings, acknowledge their emotions and offer your support. Ask how you can help them through the tough time, showing that you care and are willing to be there for them. This approach fosters a supportive environment where they feel safe expressing themselves. Healing takes time, and everyone's journey is different. Encourage your friend to share their feelings and explore ways to cope with their emotions. Offering empathy and understanding during this time can make a significant difference. This helps build a strong foundation of trust and mutual support in your friendship. Remember, being a good friend is about offering a shoulder to lean on, not pushing them to move on. Solve the daily Crossword
