Parents Share Biggest Lies They Tell Kids

Buzz Feed

21 hours ago

Sometimes a parent's got to do what a parent's got to do. Whether their kiddo is throwing a seemingly endless temper tantrum or refusing to eat their veggies, parents have to occasionally get a little creative with their version of the "truth..."
That's why when TikTok user (and former NFL quarterback) @mattleinartqb said, "I'm bored. Tell me the biggest lies you tell your kids. I'm not talking about Santa or the Easter Bunny. I want the ones that you're taking to the grave," thousands of parents took to the comment section to share the weirdly useful and wildly creative "mistruths" they tell their children. Without further ado, here are 23 of their best stories:
"When my daughters were six and three, they both slept with my partner and me, so I had them start sleeping on the floor instead. A couple of days in, they got the flu, so I told them they were allergic to carpet and they started sleeping in their own beds!"
"I forgot all about it until my oldest was 21 and called to let me know she was not allergic to the kind of carpet in her boyfriend's house.I finally told her the truth. I didn't mean for them to believe it that long — I just forgot. I then got a call from my other daughter telling me that she couldn't believe I lied to them like that!"—tori_jones_
"I used to tell my son that oil or chewing gum spots in the parking lot were kids who didn't hold their mommy's hand when they were walking in traffic."
"Whenever I don't want to watch one of my daughters' shows, I tell her the characters are sleeping: 'Sorry, Paw Patrol are sleeping!'"
"My son was a picky eater and would never eat homemade pizza. When he was about three, I made a pizza and told him it was Batman's special recipe. He ate that sh*t up. He still asks me for Batman pizza today and he's SEVENTEEN."
—eunice38350
"I told my kids that the hazard button in the car was an ejection button for the passenger seat and that it would shoot them straight through the roof! They never touched anything around it and believed me until they were around 10."
"For every bite of vegetables they ate during dinner, they could stay up five minutes later. They didn't know how to tell time, so it worked."
"I told my niece that if you break a pinky promise, your pinky will fall off. When she eventually lied, she went wild trying to hold her pinky on because she thought she was going to lose it."
—cass_a_bration
"My parents told my sister the ice cream man was actually the music man. He plays music to make people happy, and he only has his music on when he's out of ice cream."
"I told my daughter when new teeth grow in, they create new tastes. Now she tries to figure out which new foods she will like every time a new tooth comes in."
"I told my kids that all mommies have eyes in the back of their heads. We were at a rest stop once, and I asked the woman ahead of us in line if it was true, and she said, 'Yes, it's true.' ALL of the moms around us agreed."
"It was an unspoken support group and my daughter wholeheartedly believed it!"—npe2021
"My husband used to tell our kids that if they picked their noses, the boogers would bite their fingers and make them crooked. Then he would show them his old broken finger and say, 'See!'"
"I made up a fictional character called Mr. Bugs, and when my son is behaving badly, I always tell him, 'I'm calling Mr. Bugs to deliver bugs to your bedroom, so when you wake up, you'll have them all over your room.' He shapes up real quick."
"My son choked on bacon when he was six and refused to eat after that. When we were going on day four, I decided I had to do something to get him to eat, so I introduced him to anti-choking medication (watered-down syrup) in a medicine bottle with a legitimate-looking label that had his name on it."
"He is 15 now and still reminisces about how that medicine saved him."—ffdh509
"We live in a semi-rural area, so there are wild rabbits all around the house. I told my son they're all Easter Bunny spies who report back daily, all year."
"I'm not a parent, but when I was learning the difference between left and right, my parents told me if I put my shoe on the wrong foot, I'd grow an extra toe."
"I told my daughter the only man she could trust was her daddy because he graduated from 'man school' and got a diploma (a homemade wallet-size 'man card'). Only certain men can get such a prestigious award, and he's legit because he has the card in his wallet to prove it."
—nzborn.usraised
"If we go somewhere that has a playground or a bounce house and we don't have time to play, I tell my kids that we didn't buy tickets like the other children, and they're definitely sold out by now."
"I text 'Santa' with pictures of toys my kids like; that way, we don't have to fight about toys at every single store. Closer to Christmas, we text Santa again with the top two or three toys they wanted all year. It helps with Christmas shopping too!"
"Our family went to Disney parks often when we were kids. My dad told us that he knew Mickey Mouse personally and if we went to sleep early, he would take our autograph books to him before he went to bed and get them signed, so we never had to wait in long lines."
"It took 25 years for us to realize that my dad just used his left hand to sign 'Mickey's' name."—carlymathes12
"When you pee in a pool, you have to raise your hand to let others know what you are doing, so they know to stay away."
"We have a family gnome. He lives in the kitchen or pantry. We even have a house just for him. If my kids don't clean up their things, he'll take them away and give them to kids who will take care of them."
"He also magically fixes/replaces things when they get broken if you ask him really nicely and do good deeds. When you're extra good, he'll randomly leave trinkets, candy, etc."—sapphirecailleach
"They think the car doesn't start unless their seatbelt is fastened. Facts."
"My son has a scar on his arm, and I told him that is where I put a tracking device in him so I always know where he is."
"He will be 15 this year, and I still tell him that — he still doesn't know if it's true or not.—lmt8310
Which one of these lies was your favorite? Parents, what's the biggest lie you've ever told your kid(s)? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below!