Dear Abby: My daughter blames me for HER infidelity
Although Trish and her husband reconciled briefly, she's moved out again and plans to divorce him. I've offered to go to counseling with her if that would help, but I don't know if she knows I know what she said about me. My son-in-law apologized when he realized what that revelation must've felt like. He shouldn't have shared her email without permission, but it can't be undone now.
My daughter is cordial but guarded when we occasionally speak. She lives far away. Should I tell her I know what she said about me, and hope she sees it as an opportunity to get to the bottom of issues between us? Do I continue to reach out in love and compassion, not knowing if she's still holding this grudge, showing her that I love and forgive her, regardless of our mistakes in the past? — IMPERFECT MOM IN FLORIDA
DEAR MOM: Amid the turmoil in her marriage, your daughter attempted to blame her infidelity on the example you set for her during her impressionable years. Her husband may have shared what she had written in an attempt to damage her relationship with you, which would be not only unkind, but also manipulative. I don't know what other issues you have with your daughter, but I see nothing to be gained at this point by telling her you know what she said. Bide your time.
DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old grandson races BMX bicycles. Last year, he had a traumatic brain injury and had to be medevaced to a pediatric hospital. Once he recovered, he went right back to racing. Last week, he crashed and damaged both of his kidneys. He's in intensive care as I write this. We don't know how long he'll be there or if he will need dialysis afterward.
His parents plan to drive him right back to the BMX track the minute he recovers! I think they are extremely irresponsible. I've read that 15-year-olds aren't able to assess risk properly. What can I do to stop this? — CONCERNED GRANDMA IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONCERNED: There is an adage that suggests if someone falls off a horse, they should get right back on. However, when it comes to life-threatening accidents, common sense tells me the circumstances should not be repeated. That your grandson is now contemplating returning to racing is shocking. That his parents would encourage it seems irresponsible. That said, there is nothing you can do to prevent the boy from risking his life, so start praying.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Solve the daily Crossword
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Washington Post
18 minutes ago
- Washington Post
What we know about the New York City shooting so far
Four people were killed, including a New York City police officer, and one seriously injured when a gunman opened fire inside a high-rise office building in Midtown Manhattan on Monday evening. The gunman then fatally shot himself in the chest, New York City Police Commissioner Jessica S. Tisch said at a news conference Monday night. Speaking to reporters, Mayor Eric Adams called the incident 'despicable' and an 'act of evil.'
Forbes
18 minutes ago
- Forbes
FBI Warns iPhone And Android Users—Do Not Share These Texts
Do not make this mistake on your phone. Republished on July 29 with new text attack warnings for smartphones users. The FBI warns that 'malicious actors' continue to send fraudulent texts and voice messages to 'gain access to personal accounts.' Do not reply to messages unless you recognize the sender's number. But there's more you must do to safeguard accounts. America is under attack from a malicious texting industry sending out billions of messages. Whether undelivered packages, unpaid tolls and DMV fines or Amazon refunds, the objective is to steal your data, your money, even your identity. But sometimes even legitimate texts can be dangerous. We're talking two-factor authentication (2FA), which the bureau says you should set up 'on any account that allows it,' and should 'never disable.' But most 2FA codes are delivered by text. And the problem with texts is that you can send them on to others. Never do that, the FBI warns — regardless of who's asking. 'Actors may use social engineering techniques to convince you to disclose a 2FA code,' the bureau says in an advisory reshared this week. Doing so lets attackers 'compromise and take over accounts.' Even if the request comes from someone you know, 'never provide a two-factor code to anyone over email, SMS/MMS or encrypted messaging.' ESET's Jake Moore warns the same. 'Scammers often trick people into revealing them to bypass security checks and take control so even if someone claims to be from your bank, trusted company or even a family member, keep OTPs to yourself.' This all sounds very basic. But if an attacker hijacks one of your friend's messaging accounts, they can pretend to be your friend and ask you to send a code, telling you their phone is not working. The scam is remarkably effective. While you should never share OTP text messages, you can better protect yourself if you stop using them altogether. Use an authenticator app, or better still use a passkey. This links your account to your physical device, making it impossible to steal and use a code. Shifting from SMS to authenticator apps or passkeys is critical now SMS interception and bypass is more common. Per Cybersecurity News, 'criminal enterprises no longer require extensive technical expertise to deploy advanced mobile threats, as ready-to-use malware kits are now available for subscription fees as low as $300 per month.' Banks in Australia and UAE are already calling time on SMS 2FA codes, and you should now do the same. But if you are using those codes, it's even more critical that you never share them, regardless of who is who's asking and the reason they're giving. While SMS persists, Cybersecurity News warns of a 'fundamental shift toward industrialized cybercrime, where specialized providers handle technical complexities while criminal customers focus solely on victim targeting and monetization strategies.' This isn't new. Per one warning from 2021, while 'figures suggest users who enabled 2FA ended up blocking about 99.9% of automated attacks, as with any good cybersecurity solution, attackers can quickly come up with ways to circumvent it. They can bypass 2FA through the one-time codes sent as an SMS to a user's smartphone.'
Bloomberg
18 minutes ago
- Bloomberg
Timeline of NYC Shooting, According to Police Probe
New York City Mayor Eric Adams and Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch reveal details about the shooting, including how the suspected gunman attacked a building in Manhattan. (Source: Bloomberg)
