Asia's best cheap hotels? Two surprising cities go head-to-head

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3 days ago

Street-side eateries in Jakarta. Picture by Shutterstock
By Mal Chenu and Mark Dapin
Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur both promise buzzing street food, wild shopping and serious culture. But only one of these under-the-radar cities can come out on top. Subscribe now for unlimited access.
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All other in your area Jakarta: The real old soul of Southeast Asia
The "Old Town" areas of cities are the best bits, and not just because the designation resonates with travellers of a certain age. (I'm looking at you, mirror.)
Kota Tua Jakarta (Jakarta's Old Town) is centred around Fatahillah Square, a lively cobblestoned plaza surrounded by buildings from the Dutch colonial era. Many of these now house bars, restaurants, cafes and museums, including the Wayang Museum, which showcases the famous flat, wooden Javanese puppets that have been performing for longer than the Rolling Stones. Nearby Glodok has been Jakarta's Chinatown for centuries. Here, you can wander the atmospheric jalans (streets), enjoy Sino-Indian tucker and browse the photogenic Petak Sembilan food market.
Jakarta offers a richer experience than Kuala Lumpur. One Aussie dollar brings in about 10,000 Indonesian rupiah but only three Malaysian ringgits. A hundred bucks makes you an Indo-millionaire, and there are more than 150 shopping malls and markets to splash your millions in Jakarta, one of Asia's underrated shop-ortunities.
In the Menteng district, you'll find the top-end Grand Indonesia Mall and Plaza Senayan, as well as Jalan Surabaya Flea Market, where you can buy antiques, wood carvings and batik, along with remarkably inexpensive Rolex watches. Haggling is de rigueur, and a phrase I remember from my high school Bahasa Indonesia - terlalu mahal (too expensive) - will come in handy, and earn you a bit of jalan cred. For fun, ask for a written guarantee for the "Rolex" and watch the shopkeeper duck like a CEO at a Coldplay concert.
Indonesia is rightly proud of its independence. If you thought getting Western Australians on board with Federation was tough, try throwing off the yoke of colonial European and Japanese wartime occupation, and uniting 300 million people spread across 17,000 islands. This incredible story is told at a museum at the base of Monas (the National Monument of Indonesia). The most iconic landmark in Jakarta, Monas is topped with a sculpture of a golden flame, and the 130-metre-high observation deck offers the best views in town. The Selamat Datang Monument is another much-loved sculpture, erected in 1962 to symbolise the nation's sense of identity and opening up following independence. "Selamat datang" means "welcome" and provides a useful segue to greet today's guest co-columnist, Mark Dapin. Mark is filling in for Amy Cooper, who is taking a week off to throw a haggis or some such bollocks with her family in the northern UK.
This is a tough first gig for Mark. Kuala Lumpur, which means "muddy river confluence", is steamier than a noodle stall and in desperate need of navigable footpaths. Still, at least he wasn't tasked with defending Kabul, Ryanair or Mark Latham. Kuala Lumpur: The delicious, dazzling, dirt-cheap dream city
Props to Mal for defending the indefensible - but that's only ever going to end one way, isn't it?
I've always had a soft spot for Kuala Lumpur, and it's somewhere near my wallet. The city boasts some of the cheapest decent hotels in the world: on a good night, you can pick up a queen room at a Hilton Garden Inn for an amazing $44. Good pubs in Jakarta are generally pricier and more business-oriented, because nobody ever goes there on holiday.
Malaysian Indian cuisine is the best food on the planet, and ideally eaten from a banana-leaf "plate" at a banana leaf rice restaurant in KL's (very) little India, Brickfields.
Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur. Pictures by Shutterstock
Cluey diners will mix and mash a meat curry, a scoop of dahl and a palette of vegetable side dishes into one single glorious affirmation of the supremacy of South Asian spices, and wash it all down with a glass of lime juice.
And local Malaysian street food specialties may well be the second biggest collection of edible treats on Earth. Roti canai and murtabak are peerless in the panoply of bread, and you can eat like a sultan of the streets for less than $5.
Like Jakarta, KL has a large number of shopping malls. These are not so good for the wallet but great for public toilets, although Nike running shoes are sometimes significantly cheaper than in Australia.
Yes, Jakarta has the Monas, an unimaginative and unlovely cloud spike that could only be less attractive if it were topped by a revolving restaurant and a Westfield logo.
But KL luxuriates in the Petronas Twin Towers, once the tallest buildings in the world, and still as fine an elongated representation of two duelling daleks as the human mind can conceive.
As Malaysia was once a British colony, KL has grand colonial buildings, which often borrow elegantly from "Moorish" traditions. Check out the Sultan Abdul Samad Building, the former seat of government, which sits opposite the mock-Tudor Royal Selangor Club.
Kuala Lumpur Railway Station is another striking piece of architecture in which, rather fittingly, east meets west.
And yes, Jakarta does have a smattering of remnant Dutch colonial architecture, but let's say the silent part out loud, shall we?
As everybody knows but nobody has the guts to point out, Dutch colonial architecture is boring.
The entire population of metropolitan KL speaks some sort of English, and the city is incredibly safe - unlike Jakarta where a becak driver once chased me into a guesthouse, demanding a higher fare.
So I'm sorry, Mal, but like poor Tim Tszyu, you picked the wrong opponent: not in me but in Kuala Lumpur, the city that makes Jakarta look worse than a confluence of muddy rivers.