Bride-to-Be Wants Bridesmaid to Wear Body Makeup to Hide Her Psoriasis. The Reason Was Worse Than She Thought
A woman was hurt when her friend asked if she'd wear body paint to cover up her psoriasis while acting as the maid of honor at her wedding
While the bride initially told her it was so that she'd have "beautiful photographs that make everyone feel beautiful and confident," the real reason eventually came out and shocked the potential bridesmaid
The revelation left her confused, concerned about her friendship and with a bad case of "emotional whiplash"A bridesmaid was upset and hurt when her friend asked if she'd wear body makeup to hide her psoriasis on her big day. She was then shocked to learn the reason for the request.
Taking to Reddit's popular "Am I the A------" subreddit, the woman explained that she was "beyond thrilled" when her longtime friend asked if she would be the maid of honor at her wedding. However, an "impractical" condition accompanied the request: She'd have to cover her skin in body makeup.
The woman said that her psoriasis was "well controlled," and that her "skin is simply very red."
She wrote that she has a routine that she follows to keep it that way, which includes exfoliation and a moisturizer that she applies "a couple times a day." Not only would the makeup make it impossible for her to moisturize, she wrote that "any make up that will actually cover it will exacerbate the condition and make life miserable for me."
When she pushed back, the bride-to-be said that she wanted to have "beautiful photographs that make everyone feel beautiful and confident."
Her "heated" friend laid down an ultimatum: Wear the makeup or don't come to the wedding at all."I ended up telling her either she has me as is or not at all and left. She is now not speaking to me, but has told her fiancé that I accepted the role," the woman wrote, asking if she was in the wrong for taking a stance.
After being assured that she was right to stand up for herself, the woman provided an update revealing the real reason that her friend had made the request.
She wrote that her friend's fiancé called to talk about role as maid of honor. During the conversation, he offered to "reimburse [her] any costs for body makeup."
Explaining why she had not accepted the offer, she told him "that even mild inflammation would cause days and weeks of irritation at best, or months of pain/cracked skin and possible infections at worst."
The groom was "completely oblivious and very confused" by the revelation.
After their conversation, the bride called back and "apologized profusely."
"It turns out that her future Mother and Sister in law had been picking away at her, making her feel awful about herself and how she needs to be 'perfect, presentable and beautiful' on the day, that nothing can distract from her," the woman wrote.
She continued, adding, "They both had convince[d] her that she is especially kind in not worrying or caring about how I looked, but that everyone else is just lying to me/her about not caring. [It's] been going on for months, even before they knew of the engagement, little digs about me trying to turn my friend against me."
Saying that the women "are apparently disgusted by my psoriasis," they apparently warned the bride-to-be that it would steal all the focus on the day and "will make everyone miserable."
"They didnt want me there at all, and were threatening my friend with not allowing the wedding at all," she wrote. "It was never about the photographs, it was about my condition being visible in general."
The revelation left the potential maid of honor with "emotional whiplash."
"[I'm] hurt and confused my friend let them convince her to go through with this, but I do think and hope we can get through this," she ultimately wrote.
In her update, she also noted that she was grateful to get support from people, saying that she expected many to tell her to "suck it up."Many fellow Redditors did offer support.
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"What is this fascination with wanting people to not look like themselves at weddings?! You may love your friend. But she doesn't love you for exactly who you are. Do not put yourself in pain for her," one wrote, with another calling the bride "shallow."
"I, too, have psoriasis and it's pretty noticeable (it's on both feet and legs). My friends are supportive, but if I wear clothing and/or footwear that doesn't cover my skin (like shorts and sandals), I do notice strangers staring," one user replied.
They continued, adding, "I also know how painful my skin becomes if I apply anything topically that is not prescribed or recommended for me specifically. It's quite literally excruciating. I would hate for you to put yourself through that by applying body makeup, which is almost guaranteed to exacerbate your psoriasis."
"Your friend sounds shallow and selfish. She obviously has made the decision that unless you can meet her exacting beauty standards, then you can't be in her bridal party," the poster concluded.
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