We want the best: Our demands for the forthcoming Kiss movie starring Nick Jonas

Yahoo

7 hours ago

Earlier this week, we learned that Kiss, initially dubbed "the hottest band in the land" before they upgraded to "the hottest band in the world," will soon share their story on the silver screen. Shout It Out Loud, named after a particularly catchy song on their third album, is due to start production at the end of this year or early 2026.
The film will be directed by McG, the Charlie's Angels auteur whose last five movies have been Netflix releases including Rim of the World and Family Switch. Nick Jonas is currently in negotiations to play Paul Stanley, Kiss' lead singer (but second banana to bassist Gene Simmons, whose casting remains a mystery, as spokesman for the group).
We're going to be optimists and say we eagerly await the finished product. For those raising eyebrows at Jonas' casting (and the Kiss Reddit page is a good source for that sentiment), one must recognize that while Kiss is considered a hard rock group — what with their demonic face paint, leather-and-spiked costumes, lusty tongue wiggling, blood spitting, and onstage fireballs — a lot of their music is just as poppy as the Jonas Brothers' material.
That may sound like sacrilege, but when you break down what makes a song like "I Was Made for Lovin' You" work, you'll see it's not that different from "Play My Music."
Much like the Bob Dylan film A Complete Unknown, this upcoming project is reportedly about the early days of the group, watching Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley transform from two Jewish kids in Queens (Chaim Witz and Stanley Eisen) into "The Demon" and "Starchild." We'll likely see how the pair, with guitarist Ace Frehley and drummer Peter Criss, created their flamboyant, theatrical style, which, mixed with simple chords and prurient lyrics, eventually led to 14 platinum albums and 75 million records sold worldwide.
A Kiss movie has the potential to be a lot of fun, which is why we're going to assume that McG and the roughly 700 listed producers on this project are eager for some notes. Especially since there already was a movie, Spinning Gold, that detailed Kiss' pre-superstar years, which was pretty lousy. (It was more about record executive Neil Bogart, but Kiss is a big part of his story.)
To that end, here's what needs to be in a Kiss movie.
Several behind-the-scenes sequences detailing the production of Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, the 1978 television film starring Kiss. For those who haven't seen it, Kiss play themselves facing down an evil inventor who keeps his secret lair in an amusement park. It's kind of a mix of The Phantom of the Opera and Westworld, and features a lot of sunny California girls and roller coasters.
We would also like a songwriting scene rivaling the Mozart-Salieri conclusion of Amadeus, but with Simmons and Stanley composing the lyric "You pull the trigger of my love gun."
We also insist that they include the moment (which many believe to be an urban myth) where the members of Kiss dripped some of their blood into the vats of red ink used to create a Marvel Kiss comic book. A notary was witness to it, to ensure that this really happened, and that fans who purchased a copy would know they had real Kiss DNA in their homes. (Imagine reading this comic after cleansing yourself with some Sydney Sweeney bathwater soap!)
Another highlight would be one of Simmons' first television appearances, on The Mike Douglas Show, where comedian Totie Fields saw right through his Dracula act and the two started making Jewish jokes.
We'd also like to see the notoriously pugnacious Simmons accepting the fact that the band's biggest hit was the syrupy ballad "Beth," sung and co-written by Criss. (And that many people believe that the best song in the entire Kiss oeuvre is Frehley's cover of "New York Groove," which Simmons had nothing to do with.)
There should also be a montage of Jonas belting out some of Stanley's signature screeching stage banter. (Do not click this unless you have an hour to kill and are in a location where you feel comfortable roaring with laughter.)
Similarly, please give us more details about The Elder, the never-produced fantasy film that gave us the uncharacteristic album Music From the Elder, Kiss' attempt to create something similar to Pink Floyd's The Wall.
The film must also show Simmons and Stanley's true métier. Recording albums is one thing, but finalizing merchandising deals is where Kiss truly shined. From shirts and posters and lunchboxes and figurines to the most final of purchases, the Kiss Kasket.
To that end, we should also see how Kiss will live forever, as the members of the group have uploaded their likenesses (and maybe their consciousness?) into digital avatars.
Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly