‘Main bada ghabrata tha inse': Kanwaljit Singh recalls feeling intimidated by Amitabh Bachchan, his kind nature; why some people get unnerved by authority figures
He recalled being intimidated by the superstar during the shooting of Satte Pe Satta and feeling nervous even while playing snooker with him after work. In an interview with Hindi Rush, he said, 'Main bada ghabrata tha inse, 'Satte Pe Satta' ke time pe (I used to be very nervous around him during Satte Pe Satta). After the shoot, they would come to our hotel. They were staying at the Oberoi, while we were staying somewhere else. We used to play snooker. I was so nervous that whenever I took a good shot, I would look at him and say, 'Sorry.' Seeing this, he would say, 'Why, man? That was a good shot.' So I said, 'Alright.' Later, when my son, who is a painter, had an exhibition, I went to him. He specially told his secretary, 'Find a date for Kuku… I want to go.' And he came for the opening. Yeah, that's very sweet of him.'
This moment left a lasting impact on Kanwaljit, highlighting how small acts of kindness from those in power can uplift and encourage others. It also sheds light on the dynamics of authority, respect, and self-confidence in professional settings.
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Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, 'Even in non-hierarchical spaces, authority figures can feel intimidating because they represent something bigger than just a person — they symbolise competence, responsibility, or even the expectations we place on ourselves. When faced with authority, some people experience a deep sense of self-doubt, wondering if they truly have something valuable to offer.'
For some, she adds that the discomfort goes even deeper. If they've internalised the idea that success comes with consequences — perhaps believing that doing well invites resentment or isolation — then authority figures can feel like reminders of an unspoken tension: Am I allowed to take up space? Is it safe to be seen? The fear isn't necessarily about hierarchy but about the existential weight of stepping into one's own power.
Baruah advises, 'Sit with yourself. Not with the version that feels the need to justify every step, but with the part of you that longs to simply exist without explanation. Self-doubt often comes from an unspoken belief that I am only as worthy as what I offer, or that occupying space requires constant permission. But you do not need to apologise for being here.'
Instead of fighting self-doubt, Baruah states, meet it with compassion. Ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I fully own my success? Sometimes, the fear isn't of failure but of visibility — of stepping into who you are without shrinking.
'Kindness from influential figures does more than just create a pleasant environment — it validates existence,' says Baruah. 'When someone in a position of influence acknowledges, encourages, or simply treats others with warmth, it sends a quiet but powerful message: You are seen, and you matter.
In a world where authority is often associated with critique or indifference, a kind word or a moment of genuine presence from an influential figure isn't just nice — it's transformative.
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