Woman Told Family They Need to ‘Step Up or Shut Up' About Chores — and Her Husband's Reply Surprised Her
'My husband told me I was too harsh and need to lighten up ... I told him the message wasn't only for the kids, it was for him too. He needs to step up,' she recalled telling her husband
A Redditor replied, 'All of them absolutely need to step up'A family's matriarch, who is in school to get a master's degree, served her husband and kids a firm reality check about household chores.
The woman chronicled her frustrations over her family's attitude around the house on Reddit's 'Am I the A------' forum, where she also wrote that she was taken aback by her husband's response to her assertiveness.
'I am married and have 3 kids, all are teens. My husband and I both work and my kids are in school and do sports or clubs after school,' she explained, adding that now that she's pursuing her master's degree, she's unable to do the amount of chores and cooking that she used to do.
'I'm doing what I can, but between work, school and everything else at home, it can't all be done,' she continued. 'Yesterday, my husband came to me while I was doing my homework and said the shower curtain liner in our bathroom was moldy. This pushed me over the edge.'
Feeling overwhelmed, the mom called a family meeting.
'I had my family come into the living room and told them that if they don't like how something is, they have able bodies and can deal with it themself, that they have the skills to clean,' she wrote.
'My kids were arguing that they shouldn't have to do more, they're in school and busy afterwards,' she added. 'I told them that I don't care, I am busy too, and I can't do it all, that they need to step up or shut up.'
Later that night, her husband confronted her about the meeting.
'My husband told me I was too harsh and need to lighten up. He says I was rude and basically telling them their feelings don't matter and I need to lay off of them,' she recalled. 'I told him the message wasn't only for the kids, it was for him too. He needs to step up.'
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Worrying she might have been 'too harsh' to her family, the mom of three asked Redditors, 'Am I the a------ for telling my family if they don't like the way something is, they can take care of it themselves?'
Her July 6 Reddit post has attracted nearly 1,000 responses, with many people siding with her and telling her she's 'NTA [not the a------].'
'All of them absolutely need to step up,' one reader replied, while another commented, 'It's a subtle form of sabotage. He is (subconsciously) 'punishing' you for not taking care of everything in the household yourself.'
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Associated Press
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She would assume, quite wrongly, that this is something my husband pushed for and that I'm a victim, and she would not listen to anything I'd say that countered her narrative. Jesus, she's exhausting." —shereadsinbed 18."I invested my money from a young age. I met a random banker on the train who advised me to invest. Best decision ever. Now my net worth is a lot higher than theirs. But they'll never know. No one knew what I had saved until I got married, and then my wife knew." —sausagesfestivity 19."That I've been using Ozempic since October. As a teen, I struggled with bulimia, and I'm sure they would be concerned about this. But I'm 40 now and have struggled with my weight, ranging from overweight to obese throughout adulthood. GLP-1 meds are something I've waited my whole life for. I hit my goal and am maintaining, and I feel SO FREE mentally." —Clever-Liquid 20."That I've been engaged for a month. They will never think anyone is good enough for me, my mom especially. I just want to be happy in my relationship and not have to deal with a negative reaction from telling them quite yet." —StopRevolutionary912 21."I'm currently getting radiation but can't tell my mom because she is also getting radiation and I don't want to worry her." —hisbrowneyedgirl89 22."They think they pressured me into dropping a lawsuit against their 'best friend.' They're wrong. It's still ongoing, and I have zero regrets." —HighHonorMrsMorgan 23."I'm polyamorous and have been for the past year and a half. They have no idea, but maybe someday I will get enough courage to tell them." —D_116 24."I once 'borrowed' my mom's car to go on a date. She thinks someone hit the bumper in a parking lot. It was me. And also…the mailbox. And a shopping cart. And maybe a squirrel." —ZookeepergameFun9475 25."I have British citizenship. I moved here, and my mum wasn't supportive. So I know she would ruin the moment for me. I am so happy, though!" —yvettebarnett 26."Oh, there are so many. The main one right now is that I'm a lesbian and polyamorous. They think it's immoral to sleep with someone you're not married to, and I'm sleeping with four women I'm not even dating, in addition to the one I am dating." —Wild_Horse03 27."I am currently doing my Master's degree part-time. Both my parents think that I don't have the discipline for that. That's why I only told friends and my brothers." —Black-Maria-one-piec 28."I failed English in ninth grade on purpose because I wanted to know what summer school was like. I was curious." —akaram369 29."I work with/for my dad and am interviewing for other jobs. He has been passingly supportive in the past, but he is also the company president, and I know that leaving the company would be tough." —SuccessfulMumenRider 30."My girlfriend is actually my wife. Neither of us wanted to do a wedding, but my company gives her health, vision, and dental for being married to me." —311196 31."I have a suspended license for not paying insurance because I'm broke AF." —AlfalfaEastern9299 "That I caused a dryer fire when I was 10. I was told to clean out the lint catcher every time I did laundry, but wasn't clear on what to do with it, and was too lazy to ask, so I just tossed it behind the dryer. And then one day, there was smoke and then fire. Luckily, I had an extinguisher on hand, and no real damage was done, but I had to pretend to be equally shocked at the massive amount of dryer lint behind the dryer that caught fire. It was chalked up to a dryer malfunction." —Far-Ad5796 What's a secret you have absolutely no desire to tell your parents? Will you tell us?! If so, head to the comments or share anonymously using this form.
