Rings exchanged, border closure delays nuptial ties
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The fiancee of Dalip Kaityar's brother too is now stuck in Pakistan, though they were engaged in 2023 with plans to get married soon. Sagar Kukreja, an Indian citizen, got engaged to Rakhi in Pakistan two years ago, and was supposed to get married on June 28. But then the Pahalgam killings happened and the govt closed the borders, leaving all these marriages postponed indefinitely.
Fourth-generation immigrants from Sindh, the Motiyani family had found a match for Mukesh in Pakistan through a common acquaintance.
A similar link to Pakistan runs through numerous Sindhi families.
The Sindh-Hindi Panchayat, a community NGO, has a thick file with documents of cross-border brides now unable to join their spouses in India. The organisation has compiled the documents of nearly 50 such cases. The govt order to close the borders with Pakistan after the Pahalgam killings has left these Hindu couples separated.
The NGO plans to submit a memorandum with the papers to the Union home ministry.
These will include the girls' passports and even visa applications for coming to India. A special permission will be sought for granting them a visa. "We would be requesting that, if needed, only brides should be allowed to come down, without the entire entourage. Visas will be sought for four cities like Nagpur, Raipur, Mumbai, and Pune, where the families belong," Rajesh Jhambia, the Panchayat secretary, told TOI.
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Apart from the would-be brides, there are some families too that have been separated. Sagar Panjwani, a Pakistani citizen who now lives in India on a long-term visa (LTV), got married in 2017, but his wife is in Pakistan now. "After staying in India for two years, she preferred to go back. Finally, my wife is ready to come back to Nagpur, but her visa applications were rejected twice. Now, the borders have been closed," he says.
If Panjwani exits, he would have to permanently leave India, which he doesn't want.
A man in his sixties stood with the papers of his would-be daughter-in-law. "We want her to come down at the earliest. I heard that two girls in the neighbourhood were converted recently. It's better that she comes to India and gets married soon," he said, requesting anonymity. The engagement happened over a year ago, and the family had returned to India, he said.
In cases of cross-border marriages, the families prefer to leave a cap of one or two years between the wedding and engagement. This is done considering the time need to get a visa, explain the families. "The tradition in the community is that it's the bride's family that travels to the groom's place for the marriage. That is the reason many grooms have returned to India after engagement and are now waiting for their brides," explained Motiyani.
The grooms include Indian citizens and even Pakistanis living on LTV, hoping to permanently settle in India. The families prefer to get their girls married to homes in India, where they find better prospects, they say.
A Muslim couple, Mohhammed Abbas from Jaunpur and Andaleep, who solemnised an online nikah before Pahalgam too remain separated, says his cousin Kashif Naqvi, who helps Muslim immigrants with their visa formalities.
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