Woman's 'intrusive' neighbours keep letting 'unruly' kinds into her garden
A woman says that her neighbour has been lifting her fence panels to let his kids into her garden, without her permission. Turning to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum, the woman sought advice on handling the issue, confessing she doesn't "particularly like" her neighbours due to their "unruly" kids and overall loudness.
She recently found out that the family has been "intruding" on her property. She recounted how the neighbours' children previously cycled on her drive and scaled her 4ft garden fence, prompting her to take steps to prevent it.
Despite her efforts, she noticed "things would be moved" in her garden or that balls the children played with and ended up there were mysteriously retrieved. The woman overheard a chat between her neighbour and his children, revealing he's been lifting the fence panel to grant them access to her garden.
While the father denied this, she insisted "it's clear this is what they've done more than once." After being refused entry, the kids opted to climb over the fence for their ball.
The woman says that she "wouldn't have dared" to do something similar when she was a child and that it feels "really intrusive and unpleasant". She has asked what the people of Mumsnet think about the situation.
In the full AIBU post, the woman said: "I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart.
"What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there.
"Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away.
"So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones.
"They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way.
"This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someone's garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant. They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13."
The post garnered a numerous reactions, with a majority rallying behind the woman's need to take additional measures to maintain her privacy. Suggestions from supporters included the use of anti-vandal paint and sprinklers as deterrents to discourage her neighbours' intrusions.
However, some advised against taking any action that might "escalate" the situation further. In response to the post, one person said: "Turn the hose on them! Can you set up a motion-detector sprinkler system? And plant some very spiky things."
A second wrote: "Tap a wedge in low down on your side and they won't be able to lift the panels". Another said: "Really this is never ok, unless the neighbour allows it. Otherwise it is trespass. Secure your fence, those fence clips look good, and barbed wire along the top. Also close any gaps there may be at the side.
"I wonder what they get up to when you are in holiday? Is your garden bigger and nicer, or just a nice private extension to theirs. They could have a party there when you are away, to give the parents some peace and quiet (not). Barbed wire underneath too, and a lovely hedge of wild tudor rose and hawthorn, long term."
A fourth Mumsnet user said: "I would be annoyed as well. That's trespass and invading your privacy . Hope you get it fixed so they can't do it again."
Some advised the woman to refrain from exacerbating tensions with her neighbours and suggested a more diplomatic approach. One person said: "Talk to them, tell them you will be returning the balls in your own time and ask them to respect your privacy."
A second said: "Please don't puncture the balls. It's not going to anything good, it will only escalate". Another added: "If you heard them discussing those balls and where they were why didn't you just throw them back and call over the fence that if they ever need a ball back to just knock and ask?"
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Record
20-07-2025
- Daily Record
Woman's 'intrusive' neighbours keep letting 'unruly' kinds into her garden
The woman finds the situation "really intrusive and unpleasant" and asked for advice on how to stop it A woman says that her neighbour has been lifting her fence panels to let his kids into her garden, without her permission. Turning to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum, the woman sought advice on handling the issue, confessing she doesn't "particularly like" her neighbours due to their "unruly" kids and overall loudness. She recently found out that the family has been "intruding" on her property. She recounted how the neighbours' children previously cycled on her drive and scaled her 4ft garden fence, prompting her to take steps to prevent it. Despite her efforts, she noticed "things would be moved" in her garden or that balls the children played with and ended up there were mysteriously retrieved. The woman overheard a chat between her neighbour and his children, revealing he's been lifting the fence panel to grant them access to her garden. While the father denied this, she insisted "it's clear this is what they've done more than once." After being refused entry, the kids opted to climb over the fence for their ball. The woman says that she "wouldn't have dared" to do something similar when she was a child and that it feels "really intrusive and unpleasant". She has asked what the people of Mumsnet think about the situation. In the full AIBU post, the woman said: "I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart. "What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there. "Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away. "So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones. "They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way. "This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someone's garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant. They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13." The post garnered a numerous reactions, with a majority rallying behind the woman's need to take additional measures to maintain her privacy. Suggestions from supporters included the use of anti-vandal paint and sprinklers as deterrents to discourage her neighbours' intrusions. However, some advised against taking any action that might "escalate" the situation further. In response to the post, one person said: "Turn the hose on them! Can you set up a motion-detector sprinkler system? And plant some very spiky things." A second wrote: "Tap a wedge in low down on your side and they won't be able to lift the panels". Another said: "Really this is never ok, unless the neighbour allows it. Otherwise it is trespass. Secure your fence, those fence clips look good, and barbed wire along the top. Also close any gaps there may be at the side. "I wonder what they get up to when you are in holiday? Is your garden bigger and nicer, or just a nice private extension to theirs. They could have a party there when you are away, to give the parents some peace and quiet (not). Barbed wire underneath too, and a lovely hedge of wild tudor rose and hawthorn, long term." A fourth Mumsnet user said: "I would be annoyed as well. That's trespass and invading your privacy . Hope you get it fixed so they can't do it again." Some advised the woman to refrain from exacerbating tensions with her neighbours and suggested a more diplomatic approach. One person said: "Talk to them, tell them you will be returning the balls in your own time and ask them to respect your privacy." A second said: "Please don't puncture the balls. It's not going to anything good, it will only escalate". Another added: "If you heard them discussing those balls and where they were why didn't you just throw them back and call over the fence that if they ever need a ball back to just knock and ask?"
Daily Mirror
20-07-2025
- Daily Mirror
Woman 'irritated' with 'intrusive' neighbours letting their 'unruly' kids into her garden
The woman finds the situation "really intrusive and unpleasant" and asked for advice on how to stop it A woman claims her neighbour has been lifting fence panels to give his children access to her garden without permission. The frustrated homeowner turned to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum to seek advice on how to deal with the situation. She admitted she doesn't "particularly like" her neighbours, due to their "unruly" offspring and excessive noise levels. However, she has discovered that the family has been "intruding" on her property. She added that in the past, the neighbouring children would cycle across her driveway and scale her 4ft garden fence, prompting her to implement measures to stop it. Despite her efforts, she began noticing that "things would be moved" within her garden, and that when a ball the children were playing with had accidentally ended up there, when she'd check, it had already been removed. The woman said she overheard a telling exchange between her neighbour and his kids - discovering the father had been manually lifting fence panels to allow the children into the garden. She added that while the father refused this, "it's clear this is what they've done more than once." She said that despite being told no, the children then decided to climb over the fence to retrieve their ball. The frustrated woman reflected that she "wouldn't have dared" attempt such behaviour during her own childhood, describing the situation as "really intrusive and unpleasant." She has asked what the people of Mumsnet think about the situation. In the full AIBU post, the woman wrote: "I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart. "What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there. "Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away. "So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones. "They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way. "This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someone's garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant. They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13." The post sparked hundreds of replies, with many in support of the woman needing to take an extra step in order to keep her garden private. Suggestions poured in, ranging from anti-vandal paint to motion-activated sprinklers, all aimed at deterring the nosy neighbours. Yet some cautioned against taking any action that might "escalate" the already tense situation. One person said: "Turn the hose on them! Can you set up a motion-detector sprinkler system? And plant some very spiky things." Another commenter advised a more subtle approach, writing: "Tap a wedge in low down on your side and they won't be able to lift the panels." A third added: "Really this is never ok, unless the neighbour allows it. Otherwise it is trespass. Secure your fence, those fence clips look good, and barbed wire along the top. Also close any gaps there may be at the side. "I wonder what they get up to when you are in holiday? Is your garden bigger and nicer, or just a nice private extension to theirs. They could have a party there when you are away, to give the parents some peace and quiet (not). Barbed wire underneath too, and a lovely hedge of wild tudor rose and hawthorn, long term." A fourth Mumsnet user said: "I would be annoyed as well . That's trespass and invading your privacy . Hope you get it fixed so they can't do it again" Others said the woman should avoid escalating the situation with her neighbours and instead try to talk to them. One wrote: "Talk to them, tell them you will be returning the balls in your own time and ask them to respect your privacy." A second said: "Please don't puncture the balls. It's not going to anything good, it will only escalate". Another added: "If you heard them discussing those balls and where they were why didn't you just throw them back and call over the fence that if they ever need a ball back to just knock and ask?"
The Sun
16-07-2025
- The Sun
Mums bash ‘selfish' trend that's taking over hotel pools but has nothing to do with sunbeds – and it's dangerous too
A MUM has slammed a 'selfish' trend which she has observed on holiday in hotel pools. The parent said that she is currently away with her two kids, and has been left horrified by people leaving their kids alone in the pool. 2 Taking to Mumsnet, she shared her outrage at seeing the 'dangerous' situation at the resort. The mum shared: 'We're on holiday at the moment with our 2 DS [darling sons] (age 3 and 14 months). 'It's a hotel resort with a couple of pools/splash pads areas for kids as well as a bigger pool for adults. 'DH and I have been taking the kids to the pool everyday and every time we're there other families just send their children over or leave them in the pool on their own. 'We then end up feeling like we can't just leave the pool because it's dangerous to leave the other children with no supervision (there's a lifeguard but he also covers the adult pool so isn't constantly watching).' She explained that mostly the kids have been aged between three and eight, and occasionally have been accompanied by other siblings who have then wandered off. The mum said that they hadn't agreed to look after the kids, and often haven't had a clue where the parents are. She said that she would feel 'dreadful' if something happened to the kids, so feel responsible for them. Another issue with the kids being left, she claimed, was when they were misbehaving. The mum continued: 'Their behaviour isn't always great and we've had to say something a couple of times when they've been rough with the younger children (pushing them, pulling them under the water, throwing toys at them etc).' Mess is the reason a quarter of UK parents struggle with kids in the kitchen – as TV chef reveals how to embrace chaos She asked people for their opinion on whether it will be 'unreasonable' for her to leave the other kids when there are no other adults around. She also queried if she should try and track down the other parents before she leaves the pool area, adding: 'I assume they're either in the bar area or in the garden area where all the sunbeds are but I don't actually know who I'm looking for.' PARENTING DEBATE Many other parents were quick to chime in with her views, and many people supported her. One said: 'Tell the lifeguard - it's his job, you are on holiday.' Another added: 'Go and talk to reception and complain. Hopefully they can send a staff member down to figure out who the kids belong to and have some words with their parents.' 2 And a third commented: 'I'd also tell the lifeguard about the misbehavior and ask him to talk to the kids, he has the authority and it's his job to make sure people are safe.' A fourth said: 'Just leave when you want to, it's not your job to police things.' However, one mum said: 'Are the parents not just sat on a sunbed on the side? 'My DD [darling daughter] wants to be in the pool 90 per cent of the time we are on holiday, even if it is freezing. 'She has a float strapped on her and is always in my eyeline but I don't stay in with her. She is 7.' We then end up feeling like we can't just leave the pool because it's dangerous to leave the other children with no supervision (there's a lifeguard but he also covers the adult pool so isn't constantly watching) Mumsnet The mum replied, saying: 'The parents definitely not by the side of the pool watching. 'The kids pool, splash pad and surrounding area are covered by a big shade, and there are just a couple of seats on the side- they're either empty or have adults who are obviously interacting with specific children. 'The big pool has a few more sun loungers but the whole of the kids area isn't visible from there (the lifeguard doesn't have complete visibility either which isn't great). 'I have mentioned it to the lifeguard and he says he looks but parents should be there (which is true, but unhelpful if they're not). 'The suggestion to go to reception and ask to speak to the duty manager is a good idea. I'll let the lifeguard know we're leaving and then go over.' Different parenting styles explained There are four recognised styles of parenting explained below: Authoritarian Parenting What some might describe as "regimental" or "strict" parenting. Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline. Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter. When it comes to rules, you believe it's "my way or the highway". Permissive Parenting Often referred to as "soft parenting" or "yes mums/dads". Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there's a serious problem. They're quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of "kids will be kids". Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures. Authoritative Parenting Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions. With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children's feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge. They use positive reinforcement techniques, like praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments. Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention. They don't set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing. Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don't devote much time or energy to meeting children's basic needs. Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it's not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child's physical or emotional needs consistently.
