18 Older Women Are Revealing The Habits, Behaviors, And Ideas That Have Them Concerned For Younger Women
That's why when Redditor u/SpiritFinancial7597 asked, "Older women what have you noticed about young women that has you concerned?" thousands of women took to the comment section to share the reasons why they're worried about the younger generation. From plastic surgery to overprotectiveness, here are 19 of their most enlightening responses:
If you have concerns about the next generation of women, feel free to tell us about them using this anonymous form!
1."Tradwife resurgence: This generation is, by and large, growing up without women who were forced to live that way, and don't have enough older women to tell them why the status quo changed."
—u/HisaP417
"I totally understand the appeal, but it's a fantasy. The reality is that it leaves you extremely vulnerable. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I've watched countless friends get mistreated by men they couldn't afford to leave. And even if they do treat you well, what happens if they lose their job, get sick, or die? Everyone needs to be able to support themselves and their kids.
What we really need is to fight for a living, thriving wages and shorter work weeks, so we can have fulfilling lives outside of work."
—u/sketchthrowaway999
2."This recent resurgence of 'Y2K skinny' as a trend. Young ladies, we had so many eating disorders and dysmorphia issues. Don't chase that dragon."
—u/Weird_sleep_patterns
"2000s skinny wasn't a trend at all — it was pressure.
It was feeling ashamed of your 'squishy thighs' and 'flabby stomach' as an active teen with a BMI of 20."
—u/CasuallyExisting
Related:
3."They're quick to hop on porn platforms the moment they turn 18, even when the majority of them don't need to do it to survive. The idea that sex work is empowerment is being forced, despite it still being mainly made for and consumed by men."
—u/horsegal301
"On the one hand, I get it. If you're an attractive 18-year-old woman, I could imagine how hard it would be to turn down easy money that requires no employable skills. I don't blame them because what are legitimate options at that age? Especially if you're struggling to pay for college. Seems like now, more than ever, the first rungs on the ladder are paywalled.
Having said that, it still freaks me out a bit. Not because a woman's pictures are out on the internet, or even that she might have slept with people for pay. What gets me with all forms of sex work is I can never shake the worry that she's spent so much time in a world where affection is bought and sold. I just don't know how you spend any time with that mindset, and not have it affect real relationships."
—u/midnightBloomer24
4."The lack of concern about issues and rights that were hard fought to get — financial independence and security, rights to bodily autonomy, rights to work, rights to participation, etc."
"These things have either been there for them already, or they believe they just exist. I've heard more than one young woman lament 'having to work' and 'Can't we just go back to when women didn't have to work?'
Women have always worked, but they didn't get the benefits of it. They didn't have rights to their own money, property, education, children, consent, you name it.
Generations of women have worked too hard to get those things for lack of concern to flit them away."
—u/Lyeta1_1
5."Watching women in their early 20s get fillers and injections and end up looking older than me (in my 30s) is wild. The race against aging has always been around, but it's getting out of hand. It saddens me how afraid young women are of aging these days."
—u/AnxiousTelephone2997
"I worry that younger generations are growing up not knowing what a natural human face looks like. It's becoming normalized for women in their 20s to all look the same, and have faces that don't move naturally because they're so full of fillers.
Of course, everyone's free to alter their own body, but it concerns me when we're losing something as fundamentally human as facial expressions."
—u/sketchthrowaway999
6."They think they're progressive-minded, but any advice from older women is heard through a filter of believing older women are jealous of them, so they dismiss it. It's just good old-fashioned internalized misogyny."
—u/shitshowboxer
"It is frustrating to watch a young person making horrible mistakes and disregarding the support and advice of all the older women in their lives because they are boomers or 'out of touch.' I was exactly the same way and deeply regret it now."
—u/Valis_Monkey
7."The rising fear/avoidance of hormonal birth control among younger women. While women should always be fully informed of the risks and benefits of any medications they take, the safety profile of hormonal birth control is well-established, and the idea that any 'messing with your hormones is bad for your health' seems to be a growing trend among young women."
"Don't get me wrong — hormonal birth control is not for everyone, but I hate to see young women suffering through PCOS or endometriosis symptoms, or worrying about unplanned pregnancies while relying on condoms because of this idea that synthetic hormones are bad. Even the convenience of not having a period is a valid reason to consider it."
—u/bethadone_yeg
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8."The fear of being 'cringe' or 'weird.'"
"I think getting older is going to hit people extra hard, if they keep this 'I'm X age now, I guess I have to drop my hobbies' thing up.
Just because you turn 30, doesn't mean you have to stop going to concerts and theme parks or stop enjoying stuff like video games."
—u/SoftlySpokenOne
9."So many young women walk around with their earbuds or noise-canceling headphones on 24/7."
"Women, you need to be aware of your surroundings, and that includes being able to hear what's going on around you.
Not victim blaming here, but you become an easier target of crime when you appear to be distracted."
—u/labor_day_baby
10."Age gap relationships: Older guys go after young women and train them to be subservient wives with no life experience and trap them since they have never had a job and don't have a degree. They convince them that older women are just jealous and that all their friends and family don't understand their love. I wish I could save every one of these girls, especially since her husband is gonna trade her in for a younger model once she has his kids."
—u/robotteeth
"It's amazing how many young women fall for this crap. I did as well, but thankfully, my parents were smarter than I was. He was 32, I was 16. I remember thinking it was love. I know love now, so I know it wasn't. When I left him, he bought me a bunch of really expensive gifts, and I sent every one of them back to him.
Young ladies, don't fall for his BS. That is ALL it is. We aren't jealous of you; we pity you when you get into these relationships. He doesn't love you, he wants to control you, because we won't let him control us."
—u/Tricky_Dog1465
11."I'm a 44-year-old woman. I think y'all really need to stop worrying about whether or not you look or come off as (insert pejorative internet slang of the week here)."
"You're never going to make everyone happy; there will always be people out there who'll make fun of you and put you down, especially over your appearance. Find YOUR style, YOUR aesthetic, and to hell with 'influencers' who make YOU feel less-than so THEY can sell you shit you don't need.
Feeling that green lipstick? Say 'F*ck it,' and DO IT!"
—u/Egodram
Related:
12."Adopting a speech pattern and tone that makes statements sound like questions. Why are all these women (and even some men) giving up their power by sounding uncertain about everything they say?"
"I was on an interview panel with a PhD candidate in her 30s. She had amazing credentials, but every statement sounded like a question, and she was not convinced of her own knowledge. Please stop this."
—u/Standard-Bread1965
13."Young women who are super quick to jump into hard-mode sex and relationships. You don't have to be into BDSM to be sexually fulfilled. You don't have to be polyamorous when one partner is enough. You can be vanilla and monogamous, if that's what turns you on. Maybe even start there, then branch out."
—u/InfernalWedgie
"I had a training course about domestic violence at work the other day, and the trainer told us that there has been a huge increase in women under 40 having strokes. Doctors have tentatively linked it to the increasing prevalence of strangulation during sex between younger people — if you're strangled to the point of passing out, you cause brain damage, and repeated incidents increase the risk of stroke.
I'm not here to kinkshame, but the fact is that intentional strangulation comes with huge risks (which can be significantly lowered and managed in a safe, consensual relationship), and we're seeing a BIG increase in women, especially, being strangled during sex. The reason it's included in our DV training is that it's often not fully consensual (as in not discussed and agreed upon beforehand), and it's often used as a tactic of fear and control by an abusive partner.
It worries me how much young women's perception of sex and sexual relationships is based on porn, which is increasingly violent towards them."
—u/scared-of-clouds
14."A lot of younger women, at least those on social media who ask for advice, have a complete lack of respect for themselves."
"They'll write something like, 'My boyfriend cheated on me, hit me, and told me I was dumb. I love him and don't want to upset him by talking about it. How do I get over this?'
Have some respect for yourself and get out of the situation. In the 90s and early 2000s, we generally seemed to have our best interests in mind and were outspoken about the way we should be treated and didn't put up with the shit our parents or grandparents did. It seems to be fading, though, and a lot of younger women are staying with these dregs of society to their own detriment, and I don't know why it's regressed."
—u/Namasiel
15."Having to document everything, good or bad, in their lives on social media for the world to see. And specifically on TikTok, making videos asking 'advice' for everyday things, like 'what should I wear to the farmers market in my local town?' or 'What shoes are we wearing this spring?' I can't fathom a world where I completely redid my wardrobe to keep up with every trend each season of every year."
"I'm going to need you, young ladies, to start making your own simple decisions and not put everything online.
I feel like Mr. Griffith from Easy A, 'I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought, but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds.'"
—u/TheEmeraldFaerie23
16."I've been a hairdresser for 30 years, and the thing that I am most concerned about with younger women is that they're so innocent. So many of them were raised correctly, and have good manners and love their families, but their maturity level is almost absurdly neophyte at the age of 25, or even 35."
"I didn't have kids myself, but most of their parents are Gen X, and I think they may have been a bit overprotective? I'm concerned that if the world hits them in their face, they're not gonna be able to handle it. However. I'm 60% certain that they will be able to handle it because they DID grow up with Gen X parents. It's a mixed bag.
The helicopter thing has been mostly good, but when bad things happen, we can't have these girls shutting down. We need them to have the self-confidence that it takes to make the world a better place, for themselves and the entire planet. It's kind of a high bar.
I have faith in them because their parents are in their 50s and 60s, so they'll have a support system, but I still worry about it because they're being hit with a whole new set of problems, or rather being hit with a whole OLD set of problems."
—u/herbeauxchats
17."There is a general anxiety with ever failing or messing up. I attribute this to growing up with their lives broadcast online and worrying they will become the next 30-second reel for laughs or go viral due to an error in judgment."
"Our digital culture is merciless, and these younger generations have not had a majority of their life experiences without some form of it being shared with hundreds or even thousands.
It raises ethical questions on how we as parents choose to document everything online, but similarly, we are seeing now younger people terrified of screwing up in ways I don't think we experienced because our youth wasn't shared in such an instant and widespread way."
—u/Mental_Brush_4287
Related:
18."Being ruled by fear, and an obsession with 'staying safe' rather than learning how to be self-sufficient. I'm not talking about safety with dating, health, or wearing a seatbelt, but avoidance of anything that may cause them mild to moderate discomfort."
"My nieces and my friends' daughters are in their late teens to mid twenties and are afraid of cooking anything because they might cut or burn themselves. As a result, they live on cereal, sandwiches, and whatever their parents make for them. Those at college live in dorms and have cards for their schools' cafeterias, where they eat chicken dino nuggets, ramen, and cookies.
They order drinks from cafes ahead of time because they're afraid of interacting with the people at the counter. They view any uncomfortable situation as 'traumatic' and have full-on meltdowns if they have to suffer through an unrehearsed conversation with a stranger.
How are any of them going to navigate whatever is going to unfold in our collective future? Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better, and these young women have no courage, coping skills, or resilience. I am terribly worried about them."
—u/TernoftheShrew
Did any of these surprise you? Women, what are your biggest concerns about the next generation of women? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Alliance for Eating Disorder helpline can be reached at 866-662-1235 in the US. The helpline is run by clinicians and offers emotional support for individuals and their family, as well as referrals for all levels of eating disorder care.
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