When a heartbroken Sunil Dutt opened up about life after wife Nargis' passing due to cancer: ‘Pata nahi kaise jee pate hain log'

Indian Express

07-07-2025

Sunil Dutt was extremely grief-stricken by his wife Nargis' passing away in 1981, which is reflected in his interview with the late actor Tabassum. In an undated interview, when Tabassum, asks Sunil about her demise and coping with loss, the Mother India actor responded, 'Main kuch keh nahi sakta iske baare me…kyunki…Insaan sochta hai ki shaayad kisi ke jaane ke baad who jee nahi payega magar pata nahi kaise jee jaate hai…jee paate hai log…main socha karta tha…aur ab main khud jee raha hun..aur phir mujhe zindagi jo chal rahi hai…mujhe Mother India ka gaana yaad aata hai jo inhone gaaya tha…' (I can't say a lot. People often think they won't be able to live after someone close to them passes away. But I don't know how people can live? I used to think the same, but now I am also living…coping with the loss. The way my life is heading right now, many times I am reminded of the song from Mother India, which Nargis lip-synced).
The actor, who subsequently passed away in 2005, was likely referring to the song Duniya Mein Hum Aaye Hain Toh Jeena Hi Padega.
Taking a cue from this exchange, we turned to an expert to understand how the deep emotional toll of losing someone so integral to your life plays out. 'His ability to carry on, even after such a devastating loss, offers powerful lessons about resilience and how life moves forward despite heartbreak,' said Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist, coach, and healer, and the founder and director of Gateway of Healing.
After Nargis passed, Sunil Dutt was understandably devastated. They had shared a life, both personally and professionally, and her loss left a void. 'Initially, he questioned how he could continue without her, as her presence had been so integral to his life. But over time, he realised that the world doesn't stop for anyone, no matter how deeply we mourn. The realisation that life must continue, even after the death of someone so close, can be a hard pill to swallow. Yet, it is a universal truth that eventually, life moves forward, and we must find ways to adjust to the new normal,' added Dr Tugnait.
What to note?
Grief doesn't have a set timeline: Grieving is a deeply personal process. 'There is no defined timeline for when you are 'supposed' to feel better. The sorrow may always linger, but learning to live with it is part of the healing process,' said Dr Tugnait.
Honour their memory: For Dutt, honouring Nargis' memory through the Nargis Dutt Foundation allowed him to keep her spirit alive. 'Contributing to a cause they were both passionate about helped him channel his grief into something meaningful, giving him a sense of purpose during a difficult time,' said Dr Tugnait.
Seek support and find strength: The importance of leaning on others during times of grief is also pertinent. 'He didn't deal with the loss in isolation; his family, especially his children, were there for him, providing support and grounding him in reality,' said Dr Tugnait.
Life goes on, but transformation is key: While life inevitably moves on, loss transforms the individual, emphasised Dr Tugnait. 'Dutt's personal and professional life changed after Nargis's death, but he found a new sense of direction in honouring her legacy and continuing to contribute to society,' said Dr Tugnait.