logo
Marriage psychologist reveals the no. 1 sign of a future separation — with 94% accuracy

Marriage psychologist reveals the no. 1 sign of a future separation — with 94% accuracy

New York Post23-04-2025

If you want to know whether your marriage is heading for Splitsville, don't check your partner's phone — check their face.
A one-sided mouth raise — that subtle smirk of superiority — might just be the number one red flag for divorce, according to renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute and mastermind behind one of the most extensive marriage studies ever conducted.
His research, which was recently dissected on the hit Unplanned Podcast, found that four nasty little habits — criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling — are deemed the 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse' when it comes to dooming relationships.
4 Think your spouse's smug little smirk is harmless? Think again — that one-sided mouth raise could be the biggest red flag for divorce, says famed psychologist Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute and the brains behind one of the largest marriage studies ever.
JustLife – stock.adobe.com
But it's contempt, experts warn, that is the true kiss of death.
'Dr. John Gottman is a marriage and family counsellor, and he did the largest marriage experiment ever done,' body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards recently told hosts Matt and Abbey Howard.
'He brought couples into his lab, and if one member of the couple shows a one-sided mouth raise towards the other, he can tell you if they're going to get divorced — because he's looking for contempt,' she continued.
And he knows his stuff. 'Gottman could predict divorce with an astonishing 93.6% accuracy,' Van Edwards added.
Contempt, Van Edwards explained, is the most corrosive of all the emotional saboteurs.
'Fear comes in a burst, and then you calm down. Happiness comes, and then you go back to normal. Anger comes, and then you calm down,' she said.
4 Dr. Gottman's research — spotlighted on the buzzy Unplanned Podcast — warns of four marriage wreckers so toxic they've earned the nickname 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse': criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
zinkevych – stock.adobe.com
'But not contempt. If you feel scorn or disdain for someone else, and if it is not addressed, it festers and it grows.'
She went on, noting, 'That is why at the end of a marriage you have two people who can't even look at each other.'
Van Edwards suggests that if you catch a whiff of contempt — either from yourself or your partner — it's time to tackle it head-on.
'Ask, 'What's going on? Are you okay? What are you feeling? I want to be here for it.' Because then you're giving air to whatever that contempt is so that it can be addressed,' she said.
'And then you can either fix it or become the enemy against it.'
She also believes many couples get stuck in endless loops of the same three arguments — they just don't realize it.
4 If contempt creeps in — whether it's from you or your better half — body language guru Vanessa Van Edwards says it's a red alert: time to shut it down before it blows up.
eakgrungenerd – stock.adobe.com
'You have to sit with your partner and figure out what are your basic root-level three arguments,' she advised.
'That way, when you're in an argument, even if you feel like you still disagree, you can say 'this is argument number 2 — we're in a stalemate on this one.''
Clinical psychologist Dr. David M. Schneer backed up Gottman's findings in a 2019 article, writing, 'Disgust and contempt are to a relationship what gasoline and matches are to a fire.'
He cited telltale signs like eye-rolling, mouth crimping — even subtle fidgeting, like picking at clothes or cleaning fingers mid-convo — as silent signals of disdain.
4 Clinical psychologist Dr. David M. Schneer doubled down on Gottman's theory in a 2019 piece, saying disgust and contempt in a relationship are like tossing gasoline on a fire.
bongkarn – stock.adobe.com
Schneer dubbed this move 'The Lint Picker,' a behavior he says screams contempt louder than words ever could.
So, how do you douse the flames before they torch your love life?
Schneer recommends cracking a joke, switching the topic to something you both enjoy, or simply walking away to cool off if the situation gets too toxic.
Love may be blind, but contempt? It's written all over your face.

Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

Jared Leto Faces Sexual Misconduct Allegations From Several Women
Jared Leto Faces Sexual Misconduct Allegations From Several Women

Screen Geek

time7 minutes ago

  • Screen Geek

Jared Leto Faces Sexual Misconduct Allegations From Several Women

Actor Jared Leto has been a Hollywood celebrity for decades. With so many notable roles under his belt, including several divisive endeavors including the Joker in Suicide Squad and the titular character in Morbius , he has become a household name. Now Jared Leto is facing sexual misconduct allegations from several different women. The allegations were shared by a total of nine women via Air Mail. The outlet not only alleges that these nine women were treated inappropriately by Leto, but that he also made advances towards some of them when they were minors. Ages of the women during these alleged encounters were said to be 16 and 17. 'It's been an open secret for a long time,' one of the women stated while remaining anonymous. The outlet includes such allegations as a woman saying she was asked sexual questions by Leto at 16-years-old, another woman saying he walked out of a room nude in front of her when she was 17-years-old, and that he exposed himself and masturbated before placing an 18-year-old girl's hand 'on him.' In response to the claims, a representative for Leto 'expressly' denied them. They responded to some of the specific allegations made by model Laura La Rue, who would have been 16 in 2008, who also claims to have met Leto at an animal rights benefit before connecting via email and eventually she met him at his studio in April 2009. There she says he was 'flirting' with her. Leto's representative insisted that their 'communications contain nothing sexual or inappropriate' and that La Rue 'later applied to work as Mr. Leto's personal assistant, further underscoring the absence of anything inappropriate in any of their interactions.' Meanwhile, La Rue denies ever applying for that position and alleges that she was the 17-year-old who saw him walk out of a room nude 'like it was normal.' She added: 'I thought maybe this was just what adult men do.' Another woman claimed to have received a phone call from the Tron: Ares actor when she was 16 in 2008, having given him her number after he approached her at Urth Caffé in Los Angeles, and that he eventually called her with the 'weirdest, grossest voice.' She claims to not 'know if he was on drugs.' In response, Leto's representative responded to say that Leto 'has not had a drink or used drugs in over 35 years.' The woman further elaborated how the alleged phone calls from Leto continued for the next three weeks, with her mother claiming to have also overheard one of the calls. Here's what the woman said: 'And the conversations turned sexual,' she claimed. 'He'd ask things like, 'Have you ever had a boyfriend? Have you ever sucked a d—?' ' She added: 'He changed — his voice, the way he talked. It scared me. That was the first time I thought, 'Oh my God, that's not just in movies.' ' Leto's representative continued to deny these allegations, with Nightlife promoter Brent Bolthouse also claiming that he never saw skinny-dipping at Leto's house, a location that one of the allegations referenced as having a party with girls younger than 18 that were being motivated to skinny dip. As such, we'll have to see how this situation continues to develop. For now, Leto's representatives are adamant about their denials. Stay tuned to ScreenGeek for any additional updates regarding Jared Leto and the sexual misconduct allegations as we have them.

Aimee Lou Wood & Adam Long Spark Dating Rumors Following PDA in London
Aimee Lou Wood & Adam Long Spark Dating Rumors Following PDA in London

Yahoo

time7 minutes ago

  • Yahoo

Aimee Lou Wood & Adam Long Spark Dating Rumors Following PDA in London

Aimee Lou Wood, best known for her acting exploits, is making headlines once again, as photographs of her cozy outing with Adam Long surfaced online. They were spotted engaging in public displays of affection (PDA), sparking a wave of dating speculation among fans. Fans of The White Lotus star were quick to notice the chemistry between Aimee Lou Wood and Adam Long when the two were recently photographed enjoying a PDA-filled day in London. On Saturday, June 7, the 31-year-old actress and her 34-year-old Happy Valley co-star were seen kissing and embracing during a casual coffee date. The couple kept their attire laid-back. Long sported drawstring shorts and Levi's T-shirt, while Wood wore a trendy all-denim outfit paired with bold red flats. Their rumored romance began gaining traction while filming their upcoming BBC project Film Club, which Wood co-created. In the series, Wood plays Evie, who launches a film club with her best friend Noa. This new buzz around Aimee Lou Wood's personal life comes just after she and The White Lotus Season 3 co-star Walton Goggins denied speculation of an off-screen feud. In a recent interview with Variety, Goggins said, 'There is no feud. I adore, I love this woman madly, and she is so important to me… But she's special. She is love, and I know that I am that to her. We care about each other very deeply.' Wood echoed the sentiment, adding that she had grown tired of addressing baseless internet gossip. 'Eventually, I just started to sit back and watch these people making something out of absolutely nothing,' she stated. As of now, neither Aimee Lou Wood nor Adam Long has commented publicly on the rumored romance. The post Aimee Lou Wood & Adam Long Spark Dating Rumors Following PDA in London appeared first on - Movie Trailers, TV & Streaming News, and More.

The Bold and the Beautiful Recap, June 11 Episode: Finn Cuts Ties With Luna and Liam Opens Up to Hope
The Bold and the Beautiful Recap, June 11 Episode: Finn Cuts Ties With Luna and Liam Opens Up to Hope

Pink Villa

time7 minutes ago

  • Pink Villa

The Bold and the Beautiful Recap, June 11 Episode: Finn Cuts Ties With Luna and Liam Opens Up to Hope

In the June 11 episode of The Bold and the Beautiful, emotions run high as Finn firmly tells Luna she has no place in his life or family, despite her being his daughter. Meanwhile, Liam continues to keep his health struggles a secret, but Hope urges him to reconsider. Steffy, Ridge, and Taylor remain concerned about Luna's growing obsession and the danger she poses. Finn draws a line with Luna At Forrester Creations, Finn assures Steffy that Luna won't interfere with their life again. He promises to protect their family and distance himself completely from Luna. Steffy appreciates his loyalty and tells him Luna doesn't share his goodness. Taylor and Ridge agree, calling Luna unstable and dangerous. They worry she might try anything to claim a place in Finn's life as his daughter. Steffy shares her concern over Bill helping Luna get pardoned, but Finn insists that Luna will not be part of their future. Meanwhile, Luna confronts Poppy at home, blaming her mother for hiding her father's identity. She's furious that both Poppy and now Steffy have come between her and Finn. Poppy defends her choices but urges Luna to stop blaming her past for her current actions. Luna declares she will use her freedom to build a future with Finn, no matter what Steffy thinks. Later, Luna shows up at the cliff house uninvited and calls Finn 'Dad.' Finn is shocked and angry. He tells Luna she cannot come there again. She pleads with him, saying she needs him in her life. Finn reminds her of her crimes, drugging and kidnapping Steffy, and being responsible for two deaths. He firmly states that no relationship between them is possible. Luna is stunned as Finn yells at her to stay away from him and his family. Liam and Hope talk about the future Back at the cliff house, Hope visits Liam with a laptop issue and a drawing from Beth. Liam opens up about how hard it is to leave his loved ones behind. Hope encourages him to tell the rest of his family about his diagnosis, reminding him that they deserve time with him, too. Liam explains that he doesn't want to be a burden, but Hope insists that his father and brothers would like to know. Hope tells him that letting his family in is a gift he can give. She pleads with him to let others be there for him the way he's always been for them. In the final scenes, Steffy, Ridge, and Taylor discuss the situation again. Ridge wonders what will happen when Luna realizes she's truly cut off. Steffy remains firm; she trusts Finn to protect them and won't let Luna dictate their lives.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into the world of global news and events? Download our app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store