
Coming out an 'indelible memory' with lasting impacts
Despite growing acceptance culturally, research shows almost half - 49 per cent - of young people who come out experience heartbreaking parental rejection.
James Wright was 19 years old when he decided to tell his mum and dad he was gay.
Now 46, the memory of that experience remains clear.
"I would say for all gay people, coming out becomes an indelible memory, whether it's a good or bad experience," he told AAP.
"I came out to mum and dad separately, within a few weeks of each other, and it really shocked me the difference in their response."
Mr Wright's father, a devout Catholic with Italian heritage, was completely accepting.
"He said loving his son was the priority over adhering to what the Catholic Church told him," Mr Wright said.
"It brought us so much closer together ... I felt relieved and that he made it so easy was so beautiful."
His mother, who Mr Wright had expected to be more accepting, did not respond the same way.
"She was horrified," he said.
"We've not had a great relationship since then."
Almost 45 per cent of LGBTQI youth experience high or very high levels of psychological distress and almost half (48 per cent) have seriously considered suicide - more than three times the rate of their heterosexual peers.
The impact of rejection could be particularly devastating for young people beginning to understand and explore their identities, Online Psychologists Australia clinical psychologist Michelle Olaithe said.
"We are seeing increasing numbers of youth questioning their sexuality or gender, reaching out to us out of fear of a lack of acceptance from the adults in their life, or are already facing discrimination and prejudice," she said.
"The impacts of this experience can continue to be damaging for the rest of their lives if they do not get support."
Three in four LGBTQI people have experienced a mental disorder at some point in their lives.
This is not due to a predisposition to poor mental health within the community but rather stigma, discrimination and a lack of acceptance, particularly from those closest to them.
Many people did not realise just how much their first reaction impacted someone who has come out to them, Online Psychologists Australia chief executive Sarah Richardson said.
"The truth is, when someone comes out to you, they're opening up in an incredibly vulnerable way - they're not just telling you something personal, they're asking for acceptance and for safety," she said.
"The best response is to lead with love: say 'thank you for trusting me', tell them you support them.
"You don't need to have all the answers. Just being warm, open and non-judgmental can mean everything in that moment."
The psychologists' platform has released a free guide for parents, teachers, carers and friends as part of Pride Month, celebrated each June.
The guide includes tips on what to say and what not to say, how to be a "safe person" and how to support someone after they come out.
"This guide is for people who care but maybe aren't sure how to respond when someone comes out," Ms Richardson said.
"It's here to take the fear and awkwardness out of that moment and replace it with empathy and confidence."
Mr Wright said he had one piece of advice for the parents of LGBTQI children.
"My advice to parents would be to be brave," he said.
"If you have your suspicions, choose a safe time to raise it, because the child or young adult is probably aching for you to give them permission to talk about it.
"It's your responsibility as a parent to have these conversations and gently give them that opportunity."
Lifeline 13 11 14
beyondblue 1300 22 4636
Coming out as LGBTQI to friends and family can be one of the most vulnerable times in a person's life.
Despite growing acceptance culturally, research shows almost half - 49 per cent - of young people who come out experience heartbreaking parental rejection.
James Wright was 19 years old when he decided to tell his mum and dad he was gay.
Now 46, the memory of that experience remains clear.
"I would say for all gay people, coming out becomes an indelible memory, whether it's a good or bad experience," he told AAP.
"I came out to mum and dad separately, within a few weeks of each other, and it really shocked me the difference in their response."
Mr Wright's father, a devout Catholic with Italian heritage, was completely accepting.
"He said loving his son was the priority over adhering to what the Catholic Church told him," Mr Wright said.
"It brought us so much closer together ... I felt relieved and that he made it so easy was so beautiful."
His mother, who Mr Wright had expected to be more accepting, did not respond the same way.
"She was horrified," he said.
"We've not had a great relationship since then."
Almost 45 per cent of LGBTQI youth experience high or very high levels of psychological distress and almost half (48 per cent) have seriously considered suicide - more than three times the rate of their heterosexual peers.
The impact of rejection could be particularly devastating for young people beginning to understand and explore their identities, Online Psychologists Australia clinical psychologist Michelle Olaithe said.
"We are seeing increasing numbers of youth questioning their sexuality or gender, reaching out to us out of fear of a lack of acceptance from the adults in their life, or are already facing discrimination and prejudice," she said.
"The impacts of this experience can continue to be damaging for the rest of their lives if they do not get support."
Three in four LGBTQI people have experienced a mental disorder at some point in their lives.
This is not due to a predisposition to poor mental health within the community but rather stigma, discrimination and a lack of acceptance, particularly from those closest to them.
Many people did not realise just how much their first reaction impacted someone who has come out to them, Online Psychologists Australia chief executive Sarah Richardson said.
"The truth is, when someone comes out to you, they're opening up in an incredibly vulnerable way - they're not just telling you something personal, they're asking for acceptance and for safety," she said.
"The best response is to lead with love: say 'thank you for trusting me', tell them you support them.
"You don't need to have all the answers. Just being warm, open and non-judgmental can mean everything in that moment."
The psychologists' platform has released a free guide for parents, teachers, carers and friends as part of Pride Month, celebrated each June.
The guide includes tips on what to say and what not to say, how to be a "safe person" and how to support someone after they come out.
"This guide is for people who care but maybe aren't sure how to respond when someone comes out," Ms Richardson said.
"It's here to take the fear and awkwardness out of that moment and replace it with empathy and confidence."
Mr Wright said he had one piece of advice for the parents of LGBTQI children.
"My advice to parents would be to be brave," he said.
"If you have your suspicions, choose a safe time to raise it, because the child or young adult is probably aching for you to give them permission to talk about it.
"It's your responsibility as a parent to have these conversations and gently give them that opportunity."
Lifeline 13 11 14
beyondblue 1300 22 4636
Coming out as LGBTQI to friends and family can be one of the most vulnerable times in a person's life.
Despite growing acceptance culturally, research shows almost half - 49 per cent - of young people who come out experience heartbreaking parental rejection.
James Wright was 19 years old when he decided to tell his mum and dad he was gay.
Now 46, the memory of that experience remains clear.
"I would say for all gay people, coming out becomes an indelible memory, whether it's a good or bad experience," he told AAP.
"I came out to mum and dad separately, within a few weeks of each other, and it really shocked me the difference in their response."
Mr Wright's father, a devout Catholic with Italian heritage, was completely accepting.
"He said loving his son was the priority over adhering to what the Catholic Church told him," Mr Wright said.
"It brought us so much closer together ... I felt relieved and that he made it so easy was so beautiful."
His mother, who Mr Wright had expected to be more accepting, did not respond the same way.
"She was horrified," he said.
"We've not had a great relationship since then."
Almost 45 per cent of LGBTQI youth experience high or very high levels of psychological distress and almost half (48 per cent) have seriously considered suicide - more than three times the rate of their heterosexual peers.
The impact of rejection could be particularly devastating for young people beginning to understand and explore their identities, Online Psychologists Australia clinical psychologist Michelle Olaithe said.
"We are seeing increasing numbers of youth questioning their sexuality or gender, reaching out to us out of fear of a lack of acceptance from the adults in their life, or are already facing discrimination and prejudice," she said.
"The impacts of this experience can continue to be damaging for the rest of their lives if they do not get support."
Three in four LGBTQI people have experienced a mental disorder at some point in their lives.
This is not due to a predisposition to poor mental health within the community but rather stigma, discrimination and a lack of acceptance, particularly from those closest to them.
Many people did not realise just how much their first reaction impacted someone who has come out to them, Online Psychologists Australia chief executive Sarah Richardson said.
"The truth is, when someone comes out to you, they're opening up in an incredibly vulnerable way - they're not just telling you something personal, they're asking for acceptance and for safety," she said.
"The best response is to lead with love: say 'thank you for trusting me', tell them you support them.
"You don't need to have all the answers. Just being warm, open and non-judgmental can mean everything in that moment."
The psychologists' platform has released a free guide for parents, teachers, carers and friends as part of Pride Month, celebrated each June.
The guide includes tips on what to say and what not to say, how to be a "safe person" and how to support someone after they come out.
"This guide is for people who care but maybe aren't sure how to respond when someone comes out," Ms Richardson said.
"It's here to take the fear and awkwardness out of that moment and replace it with empathy and confidence."
Mr Wright said he had one piece of advice for the parents of LGBTQI children.
"My advice to parents would be to be brave," he said.
"If you have your suspicions, choose a safe time to raise it, because the child or young adult is probably aching for you to give them permission to talk about it.
"It's your responsibility as a parent to have these conversations and gently give them that opportunity."
Lifeline 13 11 14
beyondblue 1300 22 4636
Coming out as LGBTQI to friends and family can be one of the most vulnerable times in a person's life.
Despite growing acceptance culturally, research shows almost half - 49 per cent - of young people who come out experience heartbreaking parental rejection.
James Wright was 19 years old when he decided to tell his mum and dad he was gay.
Now 46, the memory of that experience remains clear.
"I would say for all gay people, coming out becomes an indelible memory, whether it's a good or bad experience," he told AAP.
"I came out to mum and dad separately, within a few weeks of each other, and it really shocked me the difference in their response."
Mr Wright's father, a devout Catholic with Italian heritage, was completely accepting.
"He said loving his son was the priority over adhering to what the Catholic Church told him," Mr Wright said.
"It brought us so much closer together ... I felt relieved and that he made it so easy was so beautiful."
His mother, who Mr Wright had expected to be more accepting, did not respond the same way.
"She was horrified," he said.
"We've not had a great relationship since then."
Almost 45 per cent of LGBTQI youth experience high or very high levels of psychological distress and almost half (48 per cent) have seriously considered suicide - more than three times the rate of their heterosexual peers.
The impact of rejection could be particularly devastating for young people beginning to understand and explore their identities, Online Psychologists Australia clinical psychologist Michelle Olaithe said.
"We are seeing increasing numbers of youth questioning their sexuality or gender, reaching out to us out of fear of a lack of acceptance from the adults in their life, or are already facing discrimination and prejudice," she said.
"The impacts of this experience can continue to be damaging for the rest of their lives if they do not get support."
Three in four LGBTQI people have experienced a mental disorder at some point in their lives.
This is not due to a predisposition to poor mental health within the community but rather stigma, discrimination and a lack of acceptance, particularly from those closest to them.
Many people did not realise just how much their first reaction impacted someone who has come out to them, Online Psychologists Australia chief executive Sarah Richardson said.
"The truth is, when someone comes out to you, they're opening up in an incredibly vulnerable way - they're not just telling you something personal, they're asking for acceptance and for safety," she said.
"The best response is to lead with love: say 'thank you for trusting me', tell them you support them.
"You don't need to have all the answers. Just being warm, open and non-judgmental can mean everything in that moment."
The psychologists' platform has released a free guide for parents, teachers, carers and friends as part of Pride Month, celebrated each June.
The guide includes tips on what to say and what not to say, how to be a "safe person" and how to support someone after they come out.
"This guide is for people who care but maybe aren't sure how to respond when someone comes out," Ms Richardson said.
"It's here to take the fear and awkwardness out of that moment and replace it with empathy and confidence."
Mr Wright said he had one piece of advice for the parents of LGBTQI children.
"My advice to parents would be to be brave," he said.
"If you have your suspicions, choose a safe time to raise it, because the child or young adult is probably aching for you to give them permission to talk about it.
"It's your responsibility as a parent to have these conversations and gently give them that opportunity."
Lifeline 13 11 14
beyondblue 1300 22 4636
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Endeavour, which offers 14 sports and enrols two-thirds of students in its targeted sports program, uses explicit teaching and regular teacher observation programs. 'Getting the right staff in the right positions is the most important thing, and having them buy into what we are doing here,' Kozlowski said. 'I also run an anonymous survey about my leadership. I want staff to feel comfortable giving and receiving feedback. We won't allow poor practice to go uncommented on; we are going to address it.' The school lifted its combined average score by more than five marks since 2019 while doubling the number of subjects offered, including modern history, physics and advanced maths. The analysis of results shows Sydney's fully selective schools still dominate the average score rankings, reflecting the end-of-year league tables which are based on band 6 results. Every December, the Herald publishes school league tables, which are drawn from band 6 results – or marks over 90 – as a proportion of schools' HSC entries. For the past two years, North Sydney Boys has topped these league tables. The NSW government releases data only about students who achieve the top band in each subject. Experts argue this recognises only a limited definition of success and has distorted subject selection, creating a perverse incentive to push students into lower-level subjects. The Herald's analysis of average scores aims to put a spotlight on schools achieving strong and improved results across their entire student cohort. Private and Catholic schools are excluded from the analysis as many non-government schools do not report average subject scores. On the average score measure, academic powerhouse James Ruse rose to the top with a combined mean above 90. Last year the school offered 15 subjects. Normanhurst Boys and North Sydney Boys offered 17. Chatswood High, which is partially selective and the state's second-largest public school, had a combined average of 81. It offers 36 courses – double the number of subjects at some selective schools. Cheltenham Girls offers 30 subjects and Burwood Girls 28. James Ruse principal Matthew Dopierala said there were misconceptions that his school was an ATAR factory, and that their students' interests beyond academics were extended through its 60 co-curricular activities and clubs, an annual musical and its cadet unit. Subjects such as physics, chemistry and extension maths – in which average scores are above 88 – were all in high demand, he said. 'We are looking at subject offerings, but we have to cater to what students want. I encourage them not to pick any particular pattern of subjects, but to follow their passion.' Dopierala said the number of students taking accelerated HSC courses in year 10 and 11 had increased. 'That's happened for a number of reasons – some of it is to give them a chance to get a taste for the rigours of the HSC.' More year 12 students are looking to apply to overseas universities, he said, including to Harvard and Oxbridge. At South Sydney High School, which lifted its combined average score by more than five marks, teachers use formal assessment programs in early high school to help students get in the habit of sitting exams. Principal Janice Neilsen said teachers focused heavily on exam technique and writing under timed conditions. 'Getting students to believe they can achieve is so important,' she said, which is helped 'through strong relationships between teachers and students'. 'We also reinforce the importance of attendance, kindness and respect, and building a positive and ordered learning environment across the whole school, from year 7 to 12,' Neilsen said. While some private and Catholic schools include average HSC scores for each subject in their annual reports, many choose instead to publish the proportion of students achieving a particular band and how that compares to the state average. Schools are not required to publish median ATARs or data on how HSC results are tracking over time. The NSW Education Standards Authority, which oversees the HSC, has previously flagged that authorities are looking at 'new and additional information to report the breadth of achievement of HSC students'.



