Man Asks Wife to Stop Sharing Their Arguments with Her Sister and Giving a ‘Front-Row Seat to Every Flaw I Have'

Yahoo

13 hours ago

'She said I was 'trying to isolate her' and being controlling,' the husband recalledNEED TO KNOW
A Reddit user explained that he would like his wife to keep their private life, including arguments, between the two of them
The husband said his sister-in-law 'has been getting a running commentary of our marriage from my wife's side only'
His wife said he is ' 'trying to isolate her' and being controlling,' he recalled after he requested her to stopA husband is uncomfortable with his wife's sister seemingly having 'a front-row seat to every flaw' he has in his marriage.
The 38-year-old man explained on Reddit's 'Am I the A------' forum that his 35-year-old spouse has been sharing 'basically every argument we have, big or small,' with her sibling whenever he's not around to defend himself.
'We're not constantly fighting or anything, but like any couple, we have our moments — stuff like me forgetting to take out the trash, getting the wrong cereal or spacing out during a conversation,' he wrote.
'Her sister used to be super warm with me, but lately, she's been cold, even passive-aggressive, and it didn't click until I realized she's been getting a running commentary of our marriage from my wife's side only,' he added.
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He then asked his wife to keep their private life between the two of them.
'I wasn't yelling or accusing, just trying to express how it feels to be seen as the 'bad guy' over minor stuff that gets retold out of context,' he said. 'She said I was 'trying to isolate her' and being controlling.'
'To be clear: I don't care if she vents now and then, or leans on her sister during tough times. I just feel like there's a difference between support and giving someone a front-row seat to every flaw I have,' he continued.
The husband admitted that he is getting anxious at gatherings for feeling judged by someone — his sister-in-law — who he didn't marry.
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Pondering if he's being unreasonable, he asked Redditors, 'Am I the a------ for asking her to keep our relationship a little more private?'
One reader replied, 'Your wife is weaponizing therapy language here. It's completely reasonable to ask your partner to keep private disagreements private. We all need outside advice now and then, but some privacy in a relationship is also warranted. It's also unfair that your wife was sharing all these presumed-private interactions without you knowing about it.'
'Again, she doesn't need to clear her conversation topics with you, but it feels like she at least should have been upfront with the fact that her sister hears absolutely everything,' the Redditor continued.
Another person commented, 'Ask your wife how she would feel if you were relaying every disagreement the two of you have to your family's group chat. Let her know going forward you will not engage with her family ever again while she continues to poison them against you.'
Still, a third commenter offered a different perspective. "Generally speaking if someone is happy in their marriage they may vent occasionally about their partner but they don't discuss every single interaction outside the home," they wrote. "If even small things are angering your wife enough that she feels the need to have a running diatribe about you to her sister then she is not happy at all."
"It's not wrong to ask for some aspects of your relationship to be private but you should really try to find out why she is so unhappy. Maybe marriage counseling would be a good start," they concluded.
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