Ashley James: ‘The struggle comes from trying to do the impossible every day'

Independent

23-04-2025

As the mother of two young children, presenter and DJ Ashley James thought 'feeling like you're full of lead' was normal.
It was only when she eventually had blood tests that she realised her utter exhaustion wasn't simply from the strain of working and caring for her two-year-old daughter Ada and four-year-old son Alfie, it was actually coming from within – she had low iron levels.
'I put the lethargic fatigue down to just busy mum life and trying to juggle everything that I do,' says James, 38. 'I think for most parents, and especially mums, the struggle comes from trying to do the impossible every day. Throughout the day, and especially at the end of the day, my whole body felt like lead.
'When you're feeling fatigued or lethargic, even when you have really good intentions, whether that's focusing on work or playing with the kids, it's hard. The only way I can describe it is feeling like you're full of lead – you want to go about your day, but it's like this complete exhaustion.
'And so I carried out blood tests, found out I had lower iron, and it all made sense.'
James, who first became known from appearing on the E4 reality show Made in Chelsea and has since become a regular commentator on ITV's This Morning, explains that since she had her daughter two years ago, her periods have been a lot heavier and that has contributed to her low iron levels.
And it's a common experience – research by Active Iron has found 79% of women feel exhausted or tired during heavier periods, 75% lack motivation to complete everyday tasks, and 71% say their ability to function normally is noticeably affected during their period.
'I'm really taking my health seriously this year,' says James, 'and lower iron was obviously something I wasn't aware that I had – I genuinely thought this was how everyone must feel, I thought it was just motherhood. But turns out, I've been trying to function with lower iron.
'I wish more people were aware of it. Whether it's because of period stigma or the lack of research or knowledge around women's health, I don't know. So many of us experience lower iron, whether that's because of our periods, as I think the most common cause of lower iron is menstruation.
'Of course being a parent is tiring, but you shouldn't feel lethargic every day, every day shouldn't feel like a struggle, like you're fighting this total fatigue. But hopefully even me just talking about it can spread the word, and less people have to feel the lethargy that I've felt for the last two years.'
James has now started taking iron supplements, and tries to make sure she also eats a diet rich in iron, although she says: 'I think it's important to try your best to have iron-rich food, but if I'm really honest, I can have the best intentions in the world, but I think we have to be realistic with the kind of lifestyles and juggles that we lead. A lot of us aren't home cooking from scratch to make sure we have all this nutrition from food.'
James's busy lifestyle also means finding time to exercise isn't easy, although she says she exercises when she can. 'We all put pressure on ourselves about how in a utopian world we'd like to be with food and exercise, but it's very much as and when, and sometimes, especially when I feel very lethargic. I do have to focus on rest over exercise. But I love Pilates,' she says.
She also thinks strength training is vital for women, and stresses: 'Another thing I'm learning since having babies is how important strength training is for women's health, and it's definitely not something that I was made aware of growing up.
'A lot of the narrative around exercise is around how to shrink yourself, rather than how to strengthen and nourish your body. My relationship with both food and exercise has changed a lot, and I wish that women and especially girls were taught more about nourishing and strengthening, instead of just diets and shrinking, because I feel like it's a very unhealthy and toxic narrative that's put out for us.'
James is loving being a mum to Alfie and Ada, who she's bringing up with her partner Tommy Andrews, and says: 'I love hanging out with the kids, I love helping them develop and grow, especially in what feels like a quite scary world, and trying to instil confidence that will last for both my son and my daughter – I really enjoy the challenge.
'But I think where a lot of the struggle comes from is it almost feels like you have two full-time jobs between work and mum life, and you can't tell the other job that you're doing something else.
'So it's definitely a struggle, but I'm very grateful and happy with my kiddies.'
James recently went on a trip to Mexico without the children, and was 'mum-shamed' in some media for it. But she explains she was working, and stresses: 'My partner goes away every week, and no one talks about that. It's not revolutionary for him to leave his kids at home, but for some reason when mothers do it, apparently there's a lot of conversation around it.
'I think that's part of the struggle that a lot of mums feel, the double standards and hypocrisy, that it's okay for men to leave their kids or to go play golf all day on a weekend, but we can't take the time for ourselves.'
She says she wouldn't describe the trip as a holiday, and it was definitely the longest time she's been away from the children, but she stresses: 'It was really good for me to get a full night's sleep, to be able to focus on this work project, and so I don't feel guilty about it – it was amazing. And for my partner, it was great for him to bond with the kiddies, and to be able to have that time with them as well was very empowering for him.
'Of course I missed the kids, but I also very much loved the break and being able to focus on one thing, and being able to sleep uninterrupted and wake up naturally. So it was a novelty.
I was very excited to see the kids, but I knew they were in very safe hands, and I felt very deserving of that time.'