Why Man Asked Girlfriend to 'Pretend to Be Japanese' For Reunion with High School Friends
A Chinese woman has taken to the internet for advice after her boyfriend wanted her to "pretend to be Japanese" to meet his high school friends -- specifically his male friends.
The OP (a.k.a "original poster") shared her story to Reddit's AITA ("Am I the A--hole") forum, asking the internet whether or not she's in the wrong for refusing to fake being an ethnicity of which she is not to "impress" her boyfriend's friends at an event.
Redditors weighed in, before the woman later revealed the reason behind her boyfriend's bizarre request, and where they stand now.
Read on to see what went down and how Redditors reacted.
Chinese Woman's BF Wants Her to 'Pretend to Be Japanese' to 'Impress' Friends
In her original post, the woman asked the question: "AITA for telling my boyfriend I wouldn't pretend to be Japanese to impress his old high school friends?"
"I (23f) am a Chinese woman living in America. My boyfriend (23m) is American and white. I am somewhat aware of a weird thing for Asian women some white American guys have," OP wrote. "But most of my boyfriend's exes are African-American so I thought I was in the clear."
"He's going to attend a event that includes many friends from high school," he added. "He told me he wants his friends to think I'm Japanese. He said I don't have to outright say it, I can just do something subtle to give them that impression."
According to the woman, one of her boyfriend's exes, who is African-American, will be at the event, but OP's boyfriend "promises" that his ex being there "has nothing to do with him wanting people to think I'm Japanese."
"He said it's for his male friends," OP clarified. "Even though it's people he rarely sees so this maybe a one time thing, I told him I wouldn't pretend to be Japanese."
"Unless it's required, I avoid telling people I'm Chinese," she explained. "I feel people put much stock into where people are born and I want people to get to know me for me."
Despite her declining her boyfriend's request, OP said her boyfriend "still wants" her to go with him to the event, but noted that "he seems like he's dreading it."
"Am I the a--hole ?" she then asked.
Reddit Weighs In, Slams OP's 'Creep' of a BF
Redditors appeared to unanimously label the woman as NTA, a.k.a. "not the a--hole," and didn't hesitate to rally behind OP, while also accusing her boyfriend of having a "fetish."
"NTA and it's really weird that he wants you to lie to show off his 'Japanese' girlfriend like a trophy," a user wrote.
Another commenter suggested the boyfriend fetishizes Japanese culture, saying he was "dreading" going to the event because he probably "already told them you're Japanese."
"NTA boyfriend and his friends have a weird ass fetish," another wrote in a popular comment, to which OP replied, "Maybe I'm naive. I definitely don't think I understand how kinks and fetishes work."
"I was hoping [because] most of his exes are African-American, that would mean he doesn't have a weird obsession for Asian women," she added, before asking how "many" of his friends he grew up with possibly have the "same fetish."
"I am not defending him, I just don't know how this works," OP clarified.
After a Redditor suggested that the boyfriend may "have a fetish for 'Exotic' women for which any woman not white could fit," the woman said that the commenter's "theory fits the most."
"Maybe my boyfriend have an obsession for non-white women but wants to impress someone who specifically like Japanese women," OP said.
Meanwhile, another user -- who also said OP was NTA -- asked, "Why the heck are you dating this creep nta."
"A part of me was hoping people would say I'm overreacting," she said.
Another commenter asked OP if she was "looking for a reason to stay with that weirdo??"
"You're not the a--hole for not pretending to be something you're not," the user assured. "It's good to have self respect but….your boyfriend sounds like a piece of work and he'll do more microagressions against you if you let him get away with it. PICK BETTER!"
The woman replied, "I was, but this is a problem I can't ignore. My boyfriend has issues."
OP Gives an Update
The next day, the woman gave an update in a new post, sharing that she had a conversation with her boyfriend, who explained the apparent reason why he asked her to "pretend to be Japanese."
"A tiny update as the conversation I had with my boyfriend was less than 2 hours long," OP said. "He promises that he doesn't care that I'm Chinese instead of Japanese. He admitted he's physically attracted to women who aren't white."
"He promises that his old high school friends doesn't have anti-Chinese sentiments. He admitted it was a stupid competitive thing between him and his friends," she continued. "He said his friends will be [impressed] that I'm Chinese but one of his other friends has a South Korean girlfriend. In their weird ranking, even though Chinese is ranked high, South Korean is ranked higher. For them, the only thing that ranks higher than South Korean is Japanese."
OP then dropped a bomb, telling Redditors, "I broke up with him. I told him and his friends need to have more respect for women."
Commenters praised OP for her decision.
"Good for you. That sounds like an insanely stupid thing for him to worry about," a user wrote.
"The very idea that he and his friends RANK the desirability of female partners according to their cultural / ethnic origin is deeply, deeply s--ty behaviour," another said. "You did the right thing to break up with him. Absolutely appalling behaviour!"
"You did great standing up for yourself. You're not some piece of meat for a competition," another person chimed in.
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After a long, late-night shoot, they were supposed to get into the car and pull out of the garage, but when Michael turned the key in the ignition, the car — which Larry called a "pile of junk" — wouldn't start. Michael said, "When that car didn't start, I knew instantly we had a blow... It was perfect, and we all felt like the show was blessed." Jennifer Coolidge lied to get her role as Jerry's girlfriend on "The Masseuse." She told GQ, "It was a weird day. I booked Seinfeld the same day that I booked this very short-lived series called She TV, which was an all-women sketch show on ABC. I didn't really have any jobs before that. I only had lies on my resume. I'd gone to a school called American Academy of Dramatic Arts up in Pasadena, and I'd just named all these shows and all these different theaters at the school as if they played there. You have to do that if you have a blank resume until you start getting jobs. Then you can slowly erase the lies. I'd love to get my hands on that resume now." However, the role was a big boon for her career. She said, "After my episode aired, all these people, all these casting directors that would never let me through the doorwell, it kind of changed a lot for me. Seinfeld and American Pie really opened the doors. Years later, I was up for a pilot, and it was between me and another girl, and I think they were leaning toward the other girl. But then the producer told me a rerun of my Seinfeld episode had aired that night, and everyone had seen it, and it had gotten me the job." The main cast wasn't always great to work with. Sarah Silverman had a terrible time guest-starring on "The Money." On a 2021 episode of her podcast, she said, "I was in an episode of Seinfeld. I was Kramer's girlfriend, and I will tell you this: Everyone was really nice, but I had a bad experience with Michael Richards. The first scene I shot, I'm in bed with Kramer, and he's scared because he hears noises. He says something like, 'What was that noise?' Then my line is, 'It's probably the wind.'" However, she flubbed her line and said, "It's probably the rain." Sarah continued, "This guy, Michael Richards, breaks character and just starts ripping me a new asshole... He points to the window and he goes, 'Do you see rain in that window? Do you see rain in that window?' and I go, 'No,' and he says, 'Then why did you say rain? It's not rain. There's no rain in that window! The line is wind!" She felt a "lump in [her] throat" and was upset he got away with treating her that way. The next day, while shooting a diner scene, he acted polite and tried to talk to her. She recalled, "And finally, I just cut him off, and I say, 'I don't give a fuck!'... And he's kind of stunned, and it's like he snapped out of it a little. He understood what I was saying was, 'You don't talk like that and act like nothing happened. I'm not going to be one of those people that joins in and acts like nothing happened. That was shitty behavior." Afterwards, he was more gracious. Guest star Armin Shimerman "hated" the Seinfeld cast. At the 2017 Florida Supercon, he said, "Hated them. They were non-communicative, ugly, I was the guest star. The episode's called 'The Caddy.' I played a caddy. I played the caddy. I was on that show for six days, five days. Every day, nobody said a word to me except cues. Nobody came up and started a conversation. I was already on Deep Space Nine. I was a series regular on a... TV show. That's not acceptable... If you have a guest star, if you have a day player, if you have an extra, you do not avoid them. You speak to them. We're all human beings together... And those four people on Seinfeld never said boo to me." He also alleged that, once, when the gaffers had to redo the lighting, he was sitting between Jerry and Julia while they waited for half an hour. They talked to each other the entire time, never once acknowledging him. He said, "It was as though I wasn't there. So, I'm not very fond of them." On The Skinny Confidential, Kathy Griffin said, "I had never met [Jerry] until I was on the show, and he was such a dick that I then went and told a story about him in my special. He actually, to his credit, thought it was funny. He didn't clutch his pearls and go, 'How dare you? I'm a star!' So they wrote the second episode where my character becomes a stand-up comic whose whole act is making fun of Jerry Seinfeld. And that was amazing." Heidi Swedberg's character Susan was killed off because the rest of the cast thought she was "impossible" to play off of. On the Howard Stern Show, Jason Alexander said, "Her instincts for doing a scene, where the comedy was, and mine were always misfiring... Julia actually said, 'Don't you want to just kill her?' And Larry went, 'Ka-bang!'" However, Jason later apologized for how he told that story, tweeting, "OK, folks, I feel officially awful. The impetus for telling this story was that Howard said, 'Julia Louis-Dreyfus told me you all wanted to kill her.' So I told the story to try and clarify that no one wanted to kill Heidi... [She] was generous and gracious, and I am so mad at myself for retelling this story in any way that would diminish her. If I had had more maturity or more security in my own work, I surely would have taken her query and possibly tried to adjust the scenes with her. She surely offered. But, I didn't have that maturity or security." Lawrence Tierney, who played Elaine's father on one episode, was never brought back because the rest of the cast found him intimidating and scary. In a Season 2 DVD extra, Julia said, "It's too bad he was so cuckoo because I'm sure he would've been back otherwise." Jason said, "There was every reason in the world to have that be an ongoing character because there was just so much tension between him and every other character. It was brilliant." However, the cast went on to describe an incident where Lawrence allegedly stole one of Jerry's knives from the set and hid it in his jacket. After Jerry called him out on it, Lawrence tried to make a joke then pulled the knife out, made the Psycho sound, and advanced on Jerry a bit. Jason added, "Lawrence Tierney, I think, scared the living crap out of all of us." On her podcast Wiser Than Me, Julia revealed one of the strangest places a Seinfeld fan has ever recognized her — the maternity ward! She said, "I was giving birth, and, when you're in labor, they put that monitor around your tummy. And I was in the bathroom, and I was naked, and I had the thing around my tummy, and I was massive, by the way. I gained like 50 pounds when I was pregnant. And I was standing there, and my water broke, and all of a sudden a nurse came into the room, and I went, 'My water broke!' Okay, reminding you [I'm] naked. And she goes, 'Elaine!' ...It was so awful. Isn't that crazy?" To Jerry, the funniest moment they ever filmed was when George saved a whale by pulling Kramer's lost golfball out of its blowhole "The Marine Biologist." At the 2017 New Yorker Festival, Jerry said, "The hardest thing in comedy is to have the biggest laugh at the end, and it's the most satisfying thing... We got very lucky. Larry and I came up with it the night before we were shooting. We wrote it late at night, and Jason memorized the whole speech in one day." "The Revenge" was partially based on Larry's experience quitting his job as a writer for Saturday Night Live — and the immediate regret that followed. On The David Letterman Show, Larry said, "I decided, that's it. They're fooling with the wrong guy. I walked up to the producer, it was like five minutes before the show was about to begin, I walked up and I said, 'That's it. I'm done! I've had it! Take your show! Shove it." However, his real-life neighbor, Kevin Kramer, advised him, "Why don't you just go back on Monday and pretend it never happened?" So, that's exactly what Larry did. "The Junior Mint" was not an instance of paid product placement. Andy Robin, who wrote the episode, told the Hollywood Reporter, "I knew I wanted Kramer to think of watching the operation like going to see a movie. At first, I thought maybe a piece of popcorn falls into the patient. I ran that by my brother, and he said, 'No, Junior Mints are just funnier.'" Julia came up with Elaine's iconic terrible dancing from "The Little Kicks" herself. She told Vanity Fair, "The night before the table read, I had the script, and frankly, I just stood in front of a mirror and tried to do movements that looked incredibly bad. I had a few of them, and I remember my mom was staying with us at the time, and I came downstairs, and I sort of auditioned these different movements for my mom and my husband — and they all voted on the one that I did." In an essay for Parade, writer Peter Mehlman explained that the sheer amount of Superman references wasn't planned. He said, "Much like the infant who fell from the sky into small-town America, Superman simply dropped into the orbit of Seinfeld. Contrary to rumor, it was never planned to make the Man of Steel a recurring theme, and the writing staff, on which I worked for six seasons, never got an edict dictating regular mentions of him. He just magically appeared early in the series and evolved into a go-to guy for humor — another superpower for a being faster than a speeding bullet." "That happy accident made it doubly amazing that, in the hopelessly earthbound, self-absorbed, conniving world of Seinfeld, Superman was not merely a comic-book hero — he was a role model. Great Caesar's Ghost … so much comedy gold arose from that berserk dynamic. Just consider: Superman was devoted to truth, justice, and the American way:" the Seinfeld characters were devoted to lying, cheating, and getting their own way," he said. "The Bizarro Jerry" was born from writer David Mandel and Jerry's shared love of Superman. David told Cracked, "When I pitched the concept of the Bizarro Jerry, Jerry was all over it. He knew what it was and loved it and he saw why that would be funny. I always give him credit because he was the one to say 'take it further.' It's because of Jerry that there's that ending scene of the show where they actually talk in Bizarro-speak. That was Jerry saying, 'Go for it.' That happened a lot in those final two seasons, Jerry encouraged the writers to go further." In the same episode, the "Man Hands" storyline was "loosely" inspired by David's wife. He told Cracked, "She has entirely normal-sized hands, but she grew up on a farm, and she always said her hands were 'farmy,' so that story grew out of that." Julia was able to bring her kids to work. Guest star Jami Gertz told GQ, "[She] had just had a baby, and she had a little nursery on set. So I brought my son, and our kids were able to play together on set." Originally, the show was reportedly titled The Seinfeld Chronicles. However, it had to change its name because of The Marshall Chronicles, another sitcom that was airing at the time. Production designer Thomas Azzari told the Santa Fe New Mexican, "My philosophy is that you should never be aware of the sets. You want to make sure they're appropriate, but you don't want to take anything away from what's going on. That's why Jerry's apartment is gray. … The color is the actors." By Season 9, the show was reportedly "the most expensive sitcom to produce in TV history." Each episode cost $3-3.5 million to make, and Jerry was paid $1 million per episode! The show made an estimated $1.1 billion in revenue in just the second round of syndication. After filming ended for the final season, Jerry took home a pretty big piece of memorabilia — his apartment's front wall! The rest of the set went into storage at Warner Bros. The Season 9 episode "The Puerto Rican Day" was pulled after criticism from the National Puerto Rican Coalition, who called out the show for — among other depictions of harmful stereotypes — joking that rioting and vandalizing were part of "everyday" in Puerto Rico. The scene where Kramer accidentally catches a Puerto Rican flag on fire was particularly called into question. Manuel Mirabal, president of the National Puerto Rican Coalition, told the New York Times, "It is unacceptable that the Puerto Rican flag be used by 'Seinfeld' as a stage prop under any circumstances." In a statement, NBC said, "We do not feel that the show lends itself to damaging ethnic stereotypes, because the audience for Seinfeld knows the humor is derived from watching the core group of characters get themselves into difficult situations." However, the episode was put back on air in 2002. In hindsight, Jerry would "absolutely" like to redo a few episodes differently. In 2021, he told People, "There's a number of them that I would love to have a crack at, but I don't really believe, philosophically, in changing or even thinking about the past. My philosophy of life is that just happened the way it happened, and we're going to go from here. And that's the best way to ... live. I think regret is a philosophical position that I disagree with. It kind of assumes you could have changed the past, so I wouldn't even think of that. But if you forced me or you gave me a time machine, yeah, there's a few [where] I would fix some things." One episode Jerry might like to change — the controversial finale. At the 2017 New Yorker Festival, he said, "I sometimes think we really shouldn't have even done it. There was a lot of pressure on us at that time to do one big last show, but big is always bad in comedy." The poor audience reactions to the finale changed the way Larry approached TV. He told Grantland, "Well, you know, I got so much grief from the Seinfeld finale, which a lot of people intensely disliked, that I no longer feel a need to wrap things up... I wouldn't say I'm mad about it, but it taught me a lesson that if I ever did another show, I wasn't going to wrap it up." However, he stood by the episode, saying, "No, I was not interested in an emotional ride, and neither was Jerry. No wonder why they would dislike it, yeah. But let me toot my own horn for a second. I thought it was clever to bring back all those characters in a courtroom and testify against them for what they did, and then show those clips, and also for why they even got arrested in the first place. And then to wind up — forget the self-aggrandizement here... I thought it was clever." And finally, ending the show was a mutual decision among the four leads. Jerry told People, "I do remember when I was in the ninth season, and I was thinking, maybe it's time to wrap this up. I remember inviting Michael and Julia and Jason to my dressing room, and we all just sat there and we stared at each other. And I went, 'You know, I was thinking maybe this is our moment to make a good exit. We've had a lot of good fortune here. Maybe we shouldn't push our luck too far.' And we all agreed that this was the right moment." Do you love all things TV and movies? 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