ASMR for sleep left me awake and annoyed — here's how I actually fall asleep fast

Tom's Guide

20 hours ago

After seeing just how many people rely on ASMR for calming down at night and falling asleep fast I wanted to give it a go. My interest was particularly piqued when I came across a video on Instagram where a woman was whispering into a microphone, imitating a doctor's receptionist booking you in for an appointment.
My immediate reaction was 'how on earth is that going to help me sleep?' I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that booking a doctor's appointment is not the most calming experience, and if it came down to either listening to that or buying one of the best mattresses to help me fall asleep faster, I know which option I'd go for.
I then wandered down a rabbit hole of bizarre ASMR videos, each with millions of views and likes. From people sloppily eating big piles of food (known as Mukbang) to people scraping and tapping random objects, the world of ASMR was both fascinating and sometimes slightly disturbing.
But if it works for everyone else, why shouldn't I give it a go? I spoke to ASMR expert, Craig Richard, about this fall asleep fast method that's growing in popularity, the science behind it and why it didn't work so well for me after I eventually tried it out.
Craig Richards, co-author of the first brain scan study of ASMR, founder of the website 'ASMR University' and author of the ASMR book 'Brain Tingles', describes ASMR as 'a deeply relaxing feeling often accompanied by light and pleasurable brain tingles.'
People seek out ASMR triggers because it helps them to feel comforted, less stressed, more relaxed, and more sleepy,
'The specific aspects that stimulate ASMR are called 'ASMR triggers' and they include whispering, soft talking, light touches, caring gazes, and gentle sounds,' Richards explains.
'Research data from our team and data published by others demonstrate that the majority of people seek out ASMR triggers because it helps them to feel comforted, less stressed, more relaxed, and more sleepy,' Richards says.
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In fact, Richards likens ASMR to the way we soothe an infant. The core elements such as shushing, softly spoken words and kindness are usually seen in ASMR, too.
'ASMR triggers are effective at soothing others because they convey care and safety to the other person, which stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system to induce a relaxed state,' Richards explains.
The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for our rest and digest processes, compared to our sympathetic nervous system known for our fight-or-flight response. This relaxed state in both the body and mind can help people fall asleep fast.
I wanted to stay away from any fake appointments or eating videos, mainly because I knew I would be cringing too hard to fall asleep. I found a playlist of calming ASMR on Spotify and pressed play.
After skipping through a few (too much whispering, too much cringe), I settled on nature sounds, safe in an audio world of running water and rustling leaves.
Initially, I found it relaxing, but the tinny sounds from my phone on the pillow quickly became irritating. That's when I realized I most likely needed a good pair of headphones to get the full benefits of ASMR.
Still, I persevered and swiped until I found some classic tapping and scratching. Instead of the 'tingly, brain massaging' feeling I was promised, I was almost flinching at the sounds. They were too loud, too quiet and, unfortunately, too annoying. After 20 minutes, I gave up and enjoyed silence.
The next two nights I was better prepared. I used my AirPods instead of the phone speakers and spent time finding the right playlist on Spotify. I settled on 'ASMR for Sleeping (no talking)' which seemed like a good choice for me.
I started with 'Tingly Brain Massage Mic Scratching to Make You Sleep' and was excited to experience what everyone else seemed to think was a great feeling. I settled down, turned the lights off and pressed play.
Tiny little scratches and tapping started and for a second I thought I was getting an enjoyable feeling from it.
But it was soon replaced with irritation. It almost sounded like someone breathing heavily in my ear (my pet peeve, especially on public transport). And now with headphones in, it was even more intense.Taking Richards advice that 'before anyone concludes that ASMR doesn't work for them, they should sample a wider variety of ASMR content,' I skipped to the next one.
But after a couple of different sounds (including Lego building) I realized ASMR just didn't work for me. I gave up and returned to what actually helps me sleep.
'If you tried a lot of ASMR content and it often made you feel annoyed or angry, then you are probably experiencing misophonia,' Richards explains.
'Misophonia is an extremely negative reaction to specific sounds. Sounds like whispering, typing, tapping, and chewing can trigger ASMR in one person and misophonia in another person,' he adds.
'The key thing that misophonia and ASMR have in common is hypersensitivity to a stimulus, often a sound like whispering, chewing, or tapping,' Richards explains.
'Some brain scan studies of ASMR-sensitive people and misophonia-sensitive people have shown that some of their brain regions are wired differently compared to control groups.'
So, if you're anything like me, you might need a slightly different nighttime routine to help you fall asleep fast.
If I'm struggling to sleep, grabbing a sleep mask and my earplugs usually helps me drift off quickly.
By blocking out ambient noise and light, I can create an environment that's conducive to sleep. I also find that if I don't have the option to open my eyes, my brain stops trying to look for stimulation and eventually switches off.
I opt for a wrap around blackout silk sleep mask that also covers my ears. It's comfortable and cool (but still unlikely to stay on all night).
For earplugs, I've ditched the abrasive foam ones and replaced them with soft silicone Loop Quiet 2s. Both work very well and don't cause any discomfort during the night.
If I've been lying awake, I can almost guarantee that my head is filling with anxious thoughts and replaying conversations from the last few weeks.
I find this cycle really difficult to break, and if I don't break it, there's potential for me to be lying awake with a racing heart until the early hours.
That was until I tried cognitive shuffling. This visualization method aims to replicate the way your brain naturally behaves before you fall asleep.
All you have to do is think of a random object, imagine what it looks like and then visualize another completely random, unrelated object. You continue in this way until your brain stops trying to make sense of your thoughts and essentially 'switches off', allowing you to fall asleep. It's surprisingly effective.
Falling asleep fast isn't just about what happens when you're lying awake. The evening leading up to your bedtime is just as important.
Repeating the same calming activities every morning not only relaxes the body and mind but signals to you that it's time to wind down and sleep. Personally, i find that a warm bath with essential oils and some time carved out for book reading works a treat.
It's also a good idea to stop scrolling on your phone before bed, as this can be too stimulating, especially for anxious minds.