She Saved for Years to Buy Her First Car. Now Her Family Expects Free Rides on Demand

Yahoo

a day ago

She bought a car to gain independence — now her family treats her like their personal chauffeurNEED TO KNOW
A 24-year-old woman says her mom and sister expect her to drive them everywhere now that she owns a car
She declined to drive her sister to a job interview due to an exam and was blamed for 'ruining her chance'
The woman says she bought the car for independence, not to be treated like a personal chauffeurA woman turns to Reddit for support following a family dispute that has left her feeling both guilty and resentful. At the center of the issue is her refusal to become what she calls the 'family driver' after finally purchasing a car of her own.
'I saved for it for almost 3 years while working full time and taking night classes,' the 24-year-old shares in her post. The car may be an old Toyota, but to her, it represents independence, hard work and sacrifice.
But shortly after buying it, her family began to treat her car like a shared resource — and her, as the one responsible for it.
'My family (mostly my mom and older sister) has started expecting me to drive everyone everywhere. Groceries, pharmacy runs, appointments, airport pickups, random errands,' she writes.
While sometimes they ask, more often, they assume. 'I get texts like, 'You can take me at 3, right?' without even checking if I'm available,' she explains.
Her mother and older sister, who are 29 and don't drive for different reasons, have come to rely on her. 'My sister... doesn't work and doesn't drive. She's never really tried,' the woman writes, adding that her mom also doesn't drive due to medical reasons.
For the last decade, her family relied on public transportation, taxis or friends. But now, she says, 'they act like I'm their personal chauffeur.'
Despite her efforts to communicate her limits, she says her boundaries are ignored. 'I've told them I'm happy to help when I can, but I can't always be available, especially since I still work full time and I'm trying to finish my degree,' she explains.
Still, her refusal to drive is often met with guilt trips and criticism. 'My sister sulks and complains I'm selfish, and my mom says things like, 'We've always helped you when you needed it.' '
The conflict came to a head recently when she declined to drive her sister to a job interview. 'I had an exam that evening,' she explains. 'She ended up missing it and now blames me for 'ruining her chance.''
The fallout didn't end there. 'Our aunt even called to tell me I should 'sacrifice a little' because 'family helps family,' ' she shares.
Feeling torn, she admits to struggling with both guilt and resentment. 'I bought this car so I could be more independent, not so I could become the default ride for two grown adults who've chosen not to drive,' she says.
In the Reddit comments, one user points out the larger issue at play. 'You're NTA, but it sounds like you should move out,' they write. 'This seems like it was going to be an obvious result of you getting a car when everyone has been relying on other avenues of transportation for years.'
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The woman responds with agreement — and a pointed question she posed to her sister. 'I asked her that exact question afterward and she just shrugged and said, 'We'll figure it out,' ' she writes.
She says the situation feels less like occasional help and more like an obligation. 'It's like they just assumed I'd keep doing it without even asking,' she explains. 'I think they got so used to me always saying yes, they just stopped seeing it as a favor and started seeing it as my job.'
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