Charity or control?

Express Tribune

13-03-2025

On Tuesday, model-turned-actor Saheefa Jabbar Khattak sparked a social media storm after an Instagram post in which she named and criticised her domestic helper, Musarrat, for her spending choices (infringement of privacy, count one).
The post began in a narrative style, characteristic of the left column of the actor's Instagram grid. According to Khattak, her mother called furiously after having accessed and scrutinised Musarrat's social media through the actor's phone — infringement of privacy, count two. Khattak initially began on a half-decent foot, noting that, "This money was meant for charity. If someone chooses to spend it however they want, that's on them."
But that was the ounce of decency in the post. The Teri Meri Kahani star went onto state, "It hurts to see that when you try to help people who are underprivileged, they end up wasting money." She expressed disappointment regarding her house help spending PKR50,000 - money Khattak had given her - on items such as Eid clothes and a bicycle for her children, within two days. The actor went on to tell her audience about her helper's and her husband's wages (infringement of privacy, count three), using the numbers to elaborate upon how she would have preferred to make the purchases herself, opting for thrift shopping at Sunday Markets or buying cloth from Liberty market to get it stitched at a cheaper price.
Additionally, Khattak publicly detailed aspects of Musarrat's personal life, including the condition of her bathroom and her home's leaky roof, without her consent (infringement of privacy, count four). All this was not enough; the actor rounded off the post by telling her followers exactly what her helper bought, for how much and prior to this incident, exactly how many of her own clothes she had already given away to her (infringement of privacy, count ?).
Social media firestorm
The internet swiftly criticised Khattak's remarks. One user described it as "a power move disguised as kindness," highlighting the unsettling tendency to dictate the lives of those receiving charity. In a similar vein, another IG user commented, "Crying on social media how your househelp spent the money after you gave them 50k which is probably nothing for you and just the price tag on one of your outfits? Is your house help not grown enough to decide what she needs to spend money on?"
In a separate comment, one of the actor's followers commented, "I thought you had a friendly happy relationship with her and she was, in a way, your friend. Does she know that you chose to expose that same person who trusts you enough to be a part of your videos happily and genuinely?." She went on to emphasise, "The fundamental issue is when we give money, we also want to play God and decide how the other person spends money."
In probably the most empathetic argument against the actor's post, the user said, "Our helpers see us living an extravagant life and also want a better one. They also want to go out and buy things, they also want joy. Why aren't you happy for her?" Finally, another user questioned, "Why are the poor held to such insane standards?" In addition to that, many commenters noted that if the money was truly given in the spirit of charity, the giver had no right to police its use. Others pointed out the disturbing class disconnect in Khattak's post.
Khattak weighs in
In response to the backlash, Khattak defended her stance in the comments section, listing various items she and her family had given Musarrat over the years, including toys, PR packages, chocolates, and clothes from her shoots. She claimed, "If I take you to her house, everything she owns is given to her by me." Khattak further stated, "I consider Musarrat my sister. And as an older sister, I will always slap the s**t out of my sister for wasting money like that especially when she is one of the needy ones," which many perceived as infantilising and policing a grown woman's personal spending choices.
Khattak also posted videos with Musarrat in which they laughed at the backlash, and later made a second post doubling down on her sentiments. She stated, "I believe in financial responsibility, not just for myself but for those who work for me. I want my house help to secure her future, take care of her children, ensure their health and education, and safeguard her home and family. Saving money is not greed; it's survival." In this second post, the actor vehemently defended herself, going so far as to present her as a victim, only to be met with further criticism in the comments.
Digital harassment or a wake-up call, one thing is for sure. The internet's backlash has probed Khattak enough to disturb her otherwise aesthetic Instagram grid.