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Doing this simple trick more often can instantly boost your credibility, says public speaking expert: It's ‘enormously important'

Doing this simple trick more often can instantly boost your credibility, says public speaking expert: It's ‘enormously important'

CNBC07-07-2025
Good communicators have a few things in common: They speak clearly and concisely, show empathy and they use open, inviting body language.
They also know the power of good eye contact, according to executive coach and public speaking consultant Bill McGowan.
Eye contact is "enormously important," whether you're having a one-on-one conversation or giving a TED Talk in front of hundreds of people, McGowan tells CNBC Make It. The skill helps you exude confidence and boosts your credibility and authenticity, especially when you're in a professional setting.
Darting your eyes across the audience or looking up to the sky, figuring out what you'll say next, can make you look anxious and doubtful, he adds.
"We break eye contact because we like to have mental privacy to think about what it is we want to say next, and looking at the other person staring at you doesn't give you that privacy," says McGowan, author of "Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience." "So that's why we'll look at the pattern on the carpet, or we'll look at the tiles in the ceiling. We'll look anywhere to give us that privacy of thought."
That doesn't mean you should unwaveringly gaze in someone's eyes during your next conversation or presentation — that can make you come off "robotic," Columbia Business School professor and communication expert Michael Chad Hoeppner said last month. Focus on making eye contact meaningful instead of constant, he added.
If someone is sharing a secret or being vulnerable, for example, you'll want to be attentive and show empathy. If you're having a casual chat, however, staring too intently can become uncomfortable. In other words, read the room and adjust your focus accordingly.
"People who are shy and introverted have a harder time with eye contact than extroverts," says McGowan. "But [you can] improve your eye contact in a way that still keeps you in your comfort zone."
McGowan tells his more introverted clients to pick a spot around a person's eyes to look at to make meaningful connections, especially if you're speaking to an audience.
"It could be an earring that somebody's wearing. It could be the knot on a necktie a man's wearing, or the top button of someone's shirt, or their earlobe," he says. "Zero in on that when you're talking to them, and that is going to give you all the privacy that you would get from looking at the ceiling and looking at the floor."
The same applies for meetings on Zoom or Microsoft Teams, where staring at your webcam instead of people's faces on the screen can be difficult. McGowan even advises people to print out a picture of someone you're comfortable with and tape it on your computer, with a hole cut out for the webcam.
"The other person will never know that you're not looking at them directly," he says. "That's the virtual equivalent of eye contact."
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Ivy League-trained psychologist: ‘A parent's job is never to make their kid happy'—what to do instead
Ivy League-trained psychologist: ‘A parent's job is never to make their kid happy'—what to do instead

CNBC

time4 days ago

  • CNBC

Ivy League-trained psychologist: ‘A parent's job is never to make their kid happy'—what to do instead

Many parents' first instinct when their child is feeling sad, upset or frustrated is to try and cheer them up. That's a critical mistake, says Becky Kennedy, a Columbia University-trained clinical psychologist and mom of three. Constantly swooping in to boost your child's mood during difficult moments hinders their resilience, making them less emotionally and mentally equipped to see their tough circumstances through, she says. Instead, make it your job to give support or advice, and be a listening ear — not a superhero — when needed, Kennedy says. "A parent's job is never to make their kid happy or to smooth every bump in the road," says Kennedy, the host of the "Good Inside" parenting podcast. "Our job in those hard moments ... is to see a more capable version of our kid than they can access [themselves]."Children learn by messing up, getting frustrated and not getting their way, Kennedy says. If you're constantly focused on making them happy, rather than helping them manage their full range of emotions and act on their feelings appropriately, you're doing your kids a disservice. "Learning is very messy. Learning involves melting down. It involves saying, 'I'm so stupid,' and 'I can't do it,'" says Kennedy. Stepping in "deprives them of the ability to learn it themselves and to see themselves as a resilient learner." The next time your kid is struggling with math homework, for example, empower them to come up with solutions on their own, she says. They may cry, catch an attitude or beg you to do the problem for them. Kennedy recommends responding with something along the lines of: "You're right. This math problem is really tricky. It feels hard because it is hard. And I can sit near you, I can check on you, I can take a breath with you — but I'm not going to do it for you, because I know you're going to be able to figure this out. I believe in you. We can get through this together." An empathetic-yet-firm approach validates their feelings, and builds resilience and inner efficacy — an individual's belief that they're capable of meeting their goals, developmental psychologist Aliza Pressman wrote for CNBC Make It in January 2024. Both skills are essential for kids to become successful, emotionally intelligent adults, wrote Pressman: "When kids understand that their failures aren't due to permanent limitations, there's an opening for future achievement." If you have a history of yielding to your child's whining, crying fits or their puppy dog eyes, following Kennedy's advice may be easier said than done. But if you do, you'll notice more resilience — in your child and yourself — fairly quickly, Kennedy says. You'll find that you can tolerate their frustration more calmly, and that they're regulating their emotions more quickly, leaning less on your reassurance and more on their own, she says. Your child's "self-talk" will also improve significantly, adds Kennedy: "Our words to our kids become our kids' words to themselves. So when you say a couple of times, 'Yes, this is tricky. And you're a kid who can do tricky things,' there will be a moment where you hear your kids say it to themselves."

"I Thought It Went Well...": This Jobseeker Was Accidentally CC'ed On A Post-Interview Email That They Were NOT Meant To See
"I Thought It Went Well...": This Jobseeker Was Accidentally CC'ed On A Post-Interview Email That They Were NOT Meant To See

Yahoo

time4 days ago

  • Yahoo

"I Thought It Went Well...": This Jobseeker Was Accidentally CC'ed On A Post-Interview Email That They Were NOT Meant To See

One of the weirdest things about job interviews is how little feedback you get after one wraps up. Sometimes, you might think an interview went really well, only to never hear from that company again. On the other hand, you might think that you totally bombed, only to wind up with a job offer. Well, one Redditor recently got more feedback from an interviewer than they ever expected, and it started a really interesting conversation. They wrote, "After logging off Zoom, after what I thought had been a good interview, I received an email with a full rundown of the interview, the interviewer's thoughts on me, and their to-do list for the week!" Um, yikes! They continued, "They said I lacked enthusiasm and energy as opposed to other candidates. And that my communication style was 'more subdued' compared to others they'd talked to. I suppose it's not the worst feedback, but it sucks to hear I don't have this 'energy' they're looking for. I'm always super calm in interviews and generally laid back, so I wonder if I just need to kick it up a notch?!" But the whole thing left them with a dilemma. "In any case, I just received another email inviting me to an in-person meeting later this week. Do I just pretend I didn't see the recap and change up my personality for this next meeting? Has anyone else accidentally received feedback after an interview?" In the comments, people shared similar stories: 1."This actually happened to me a couple of months ago. I was the only woman among three men interviewing for the same role. An interviewer accidentally sent me all our feedback. It was interesting to catch his bias because what he criticized me for, he praised in another candidate. It was a blessing in disguise because I thought I was coming across as thoughtful and measured, but his comments were that I was 'meek.' Where I was 'hesitant,' the other candidate 'put thought into it.'" "Mind you, this guy didn't ask any questions and said he knew nothing about the job. It was on me to ask him questions, and he was going to judge based on that. WTF I was (and am) annoyed by it, but it was an interesting lesson." —Schoolish_Endeavors 2."This happened to a friend of mine in 2021. I said, consider it free career advice. He did, addressed the points, and landed a better job. Honestly, you don't want to work for a company that is so careless as to email the candidate internal feedback. I'd send it to senior leadership if you can get their information. That should be an offense worthy of termination." —SnooCakes8914 3."I once had an offer letter sent to me in Word instead of as a PDF. When I opened it, it happened to be in editing mode, tracking changes. They had used the same offer letter many times and just edited the details for each offer. So I could see all of their previous offers, including compensation details. Fortunately, mine was the highest compensation, so I didn't have to use the info to negotiate further." —DianeSTP 4."This happened to me once, but the feedback was, 'She seems great, but has a HUGE gap in her teeth.' I can confirm I do have a gap in my front teeth, but it's similar to Madonna's. It was so bizarre. I sent a very snarky response back telling them that they should contact HR about a course in professionalism and asked to be withdrawn from the application process." —modhousewife 5."During an interview, one of the interviewers left her paper open, and they all turned to talk to someone who came into the room. Her evaluation of me was not very complimentary, but I was offered the job. That's why there are several interviewers and managers who make the final decisions." —KnowledgeSeveral9502 6."Several months after joining a new company, I ran across a document in Drive. It had a record of notes from the interview conversation with me, and there were members of my team saying negative things about me. One definitely didn't like me at all. Another really liked me. And I knew these people, so it was kind of tough. The one who didn't like me, thankfully, left just about that time, so I never had to deal with her. But yep, definitely happens!" —AshevilleRen 7."I encountered a similar situation. Following a good interview with the CEO, he accidentally replied all to a previous email message that included me, the head of HR, and the hiring manager. The CEO's feedback was positive, which was great. I decided it was best to acknowledge the message and thank him for his feedback. Ultimately, they selected another candidate, but I don't believe this incident played a role in that decision." —SoCal_Duck 8."This happened to me once! The feedback was generally very positive, but there were some technical questions I stumbled a bit on. I knew I did this during the interview, too, so it was a fairly good representation of how I thought I did. I did take a job there, and they definitely knew they accidentally sent it (and were mortified)! I brought it up regularly in good fun and likely during the in-person interview because that's who I am." —aussiebea 9."I know someone who was immediately fired for accidentally sharing a notes document on interview candidates that had details about age relative to the other candidates. The candidate saw that the note about them said something like 'older.' They sued the company and won." —TangerineNext9630 10."I've had this happen to me. They put me on hold on Zoom and started chatting with each other about me in the chat box. They didn't exclude me from it, so I saw everything. Luckily, it was all good things, but I didn't like the unprofessionalism in that." —Mountain_Culture8536 And others shared their thoughts about the situation and what they think the interviewee should do: 11."This is actually great for you. Interviewing is tough, and getting honest feedback on interviews is even tougher. This will help you improve moving forward. Don't make it awkward. But I would reply and let them know they accidentally sent it to you, and that even though it was accidental, you'll take the feedback and improve in the next interview. Showing that you can take constructive criticism and grow is a huge plus." —An1mal-Styl3 12."I wouldn't say anything. You have an in-person meeting, so I would use this feedback and have more enthusiasm and energy." —AwkwardInspection818 13."If the job has any connection with legal, compliance, or a regulated field with strict conflict of interest policies, you might be being set up. So if the job has any sort of regulatory accountability, I would disclose." —jegillikin 14."I would let them know, especially since it included material that wasn't just about your interview but also their to-do list for the week. That could be information they don't want out, and they should know it was sent to someone who doesn't work for the company (at this time). I would then accept the next round of interviews." —trippy4lavender 15."Do their to-dos. Send the work to their boss. Get their job." —MyNYCannabisReviews 16."Keep in mind that's just one interviewer's impression, and don't over-correct. One person's 'energy and enthusiasm' is another one's 'fake and annoying.'" —snurgisdr 17."I used to walk into interviews trying to 'act' the way I thought the company wanted me to. Over time, I realized it's far better to show up as myself. If they don't like me for who I am, then it's simply not the right fit. Never change your personality for anyone. If you naturally have a calmer energy and they weren't into that, then it's not the place for you. Keep pushing forward, your door will open!" —No-North1748 18."Have you done mock interviews and recorded yourself to see how you come across? If not, I highly recommend it. You'd learn a ton." —Smores-Lover 19."When companies complain about a lack of enthusiasm, they really mean they're unsure you really want to work for THEIR company. A tip from someone who runs a career community: research the FUCK out of the company and come in person prepared to ask about business or department decisions you see they made. 'I liked this partnership. I think you did that because xyz. Can you speak to that?'" "Knowing a ton about the company will ACTUALLY convey the enthusiasm they want. They don't really want someone overly eager, but rather someone competent yet warm. Another hack for this is tilting your head and slowly nodding while they speak. It translates warmth and listening. Again, this is going to counteract the feedback they gave without you feeling like you have to shift your energy." —Gijenna 20."I have been on literally hundreds of interview committees. Remember that behind every interview committee stands an HR Director, and behind every HR Director stands the corporate attorneys whose job it is to keep the company from being sued for unfair hiring. This being the case, if you say you had information that was not given to other interviewees, the whole search process could get shut down, and no one would get the job. Just take this disclosure as the Universe throwing you a free card." "The interviewers have to find something to say about you that is less than perfect, in the event that someone else gets the job and you cry foul. Just go in, perhaps be a bit peppier, but be yourself. They can spot a bogus personality instantly. Good luck!" —gnyssa finally, "On the flip side, I have gotten jobs specifically because I am very calm and collected during interviews. Just because one person doesn't like it doesn't mean others don't appreciate it. Maybe it even makes you stand out in a positive way. There are other ways to show engagement and interest in a position than caffeinated enthusiasm." —cheltsie Now I'm curious, has something like this ever happened to you? What would you do in this interviewer's shoes? Tell me all your thoughts in the comments! Solve the daily Crossword

Jobseeker Accidentally Sees Brutal Post-Interview Email
Jobseeker Accidentally Sees Brutal Post-Interview Email

Buzz Feed

time4 days ago

  • Buzz Feed

Jobseeker Accidentally Sees Brutal Post-Interview Email

One of the weirdest things about job interviews is how little feedback you get after one wraps up. Sometimes, you might think an interview went really well, only to never hear from that company again. On the other hand, you might think that you totally bombed, only to wind up with a job offer. Well, one Redditor recently got more feedback from an interviewer than they ever expected, and it started a really interesting conversation. They wrote, "After logging off Zoom, after what I thought had been a good interview, I received an email with a full rundown of the interview, the interviewer's thoughts on me, and their to-do list for the week!" Um, yikes! They continued, "They said I lacked enthusiasm and energy as opposed to other candidates. And that my communication style was 'more subdued' compared to others they'd talked to. I suppose it's not the worst feedback, but it sucks to hear I don't have this 'energy' they're looking for. I'm always super calm in interviews and generally laid back, so I wonder if I just need to kick it up a notch?!" But the whole thing left them with a dilemma. "In any case, I just received another email inviting me to an in-person meeting later this week. Do I just pretend I didn't see the recap and change up my personality for this next meeting? Has anyone else accidentally received feedback after an interview?" In the comments, people shared similar stories: "This actually happened to me a couple of months ago. I was the only woman among three men interviewing for the same role. An interviewer accidentally sent me all our feedback. It was interesting to catch his bias because what he criticized me for, he praised in another candidate. It was a blessing in disguise because I thought I was coming across as thoughtful and measured, but his comments were that I was 'meek.' Where I was 'hesitant,' the other candidate 'put thought into it.'" "Mind you, this guy didn't ask any questions and said he knew nothing about the job. It was on me to ask him questions, and he was going to judge based on that. WTFI was (and am) annoyed by it, but it was an interesting lesson."—Schoolish_Endeavors "This happened to a friend of mine in 2021. I said, consider it free career advice. He did, addressed the points, and landed a better job. Honestly, you don't want to work for a company that is so careless as to email the candidate internal feedback. I'd send it to senior leadership if you can get their information. That should be an offense worthy of termination." "I once had an offer letter sent to me in Word instead of as a PDF. When I opened it, it happened to be in editing mode, tracking changes. They had used the same offer letter many times and just edited the details for each offer. So I could see all of their previous offers, including compensation details. Fortunately, mine was the highest compensation, so I didn't have to use the info to negotiate further." "This happened to me once, but the feedback was, 'She seems great, but has a HUGE gap in her teeth.' I can confirm I do have a gap in my front teeth, but it's similar to Madonna's. It was so bizarre. I sent a very snarky response back telling them that they should contact HR about a course in professionalism and asked to be withdrawn from the application process." —modhousewife "During an interview, one of the interviewers left her paper open, and they all turned to talk to someone who came into the room. Her evaluation of me was not very complimentary, but I was offered the job. That's why there are several interviewers and managers who make the final decisions." "Several months after joining a new company, I ran across a document in Drive. It had a record of notes from the interview conversation with me, and there were members of my team saying negative things about me. One definitely didn't like me at all. Another really liked me. And I knew these people, so it was kind of tough. The one who didn't like me, thankfully, left just about that time, so I never had to deal with her. But yep, definitely happens!" "I encountered a similar situation. Following a good interview with the CEO, he accidentally replied all to a previous email message that included me, the head of HR, and the hiring manager. The CEO's feedback was positive, which was great. I decided it was best to acknowledge the message and thank him for his feedback. Ultimately, they selected another candidate, but I don't believe this incident played a role in that decision." —SoCal_Duck "This happened to me once! The feedback was generally very positive, but there were some technical questions I stumbled a bit on. I knew I did this during the interview, too, so it was a fairly good representation of how I thought I did. I did take a job there, and they definitely knew they accidentally sent it (and were mortified)! I brought it up regularly in good fun and likely during the in-person interview because that's who I am." "I know someone who was immediately fired for accidentally sharing a notes document on interview candidates that had details about age relative to the other candidates. The candidate saw that the note about them said something like 'older.' They sued the company and won." "I've had this happen to me. They put me on hold on Zoom and started chatting with each other about me in the chat box. They didn't exclude me from it, so I saw everything. Luckily, it was all good things, but I didn't like the unprofessionalism in that." —Mountain_Culture8536 And others shared their thoughts about the situation and what they think the interviewee should do: "This is actually great for you. Interviewing is tough, and getting honest feedback on interviews is even tougher. This will help you improve moving forward. Don't make it awkward. But I would reply and let them know they accidentally sent it to you, and that even though it was accidental, you'll take the feedback and improve in the next interview. Showing that you can take constructive criticism and grow is a huge plus." "I wouldn't say anything. You have an in-person meeting, so I would use this feedback and have more enthusiasm and energy." "If the job has any connection with legal, compliance, or a regulated field with strict conflict of interest policies, you might be being set up. So if the job has any sort of regulatory accountability, I would disclose." —jegillikin "I would let them know, especially since it included material that wasn't just about your interview but also their to-do list for the week. That could be information they don't want out, and they should know it was sent to someone who doesn't work for the company (at this time). I would then accept the next round of interviews." "Do their to-dos. Send the work to their boss. Get their job." "Keep in mind that's just one interviewer's impression, and don't over-correct. One person's 'energy and enthusiasm' is another one's 'fake and annoying.'" —snurgisdr "I used to walk into interviews trying to 'act' the way I thought the company wanted me to. Over time, I realized it's far better to show up as myself. If they don't like me for who I am, then it's simply not the right fit. Never change your personality for anyone. If you naturally have a calmer energy and they weren't into that, then it's not the place for you. Keep pushing forward, your door will open!" "Have you done mock interviews and recorded yourself to see how you come across? If not, I highly recommend it. You'd learn a ton." "When companies complain about a lack of enthusiasm, they really mean they're unsure you really want to work for THEIR company. A tip from someone who runs a career community: research the FUCK out of the company and come in person prepared to ask about business or department decisions you see they made. 'I liked this partnership. I think you did that because xyz. Can you speak to that?'" "Knowing a ton about the company will ACTUALLY convey the enthusiasm they want. They don't really want someone overly eager, but rather someone competent yet hack for this is tilting your head and slowly nodding while they speak. It translates warmth and listening. Again, this is going to counteract the feedback they gave without you feeling like you have to shift your energy."—Gijenna "I have been on literally hundreds of interview committees. Remember that behind every interview committee stands an HR Director, and behind every HR Director stands the corporate attorneys whose job it is to keep the company from being sued for unfair hiring. This being the case, if you say you had information that was not given to other interviewees, the whole search process could get shut down, and no one would get the job. Just take this disclosure as the Universe throwing you a free card." And finally, "On the flip side, I have gotten jobs specifically because I am very calm and collected during interviews. Just because one person doesn't like it doesn't mean others don't appreciate it. Maybe it even makes you stand out in a positive way. There are other ways to show engagement and interest in a position than caffeinated enthusiasm." Now I'm curious, has something like this ever happened to you? What would you do in this interviewer's shoes? Tell me all your thoughts in the comments!

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