Iliza Shlesinger wants you to know she worked really hard to wear those see-through pants

Yahoo

03-04-2025

"When you have a baby, as a woman, you become — how do I put this scientifically? — um, f***ing dumb," Iliza Shlesinger says in A Different Animal. But it's not our fault, the comedian assures. It's not because as moms we're selfish or myopic; it's because of "mom brain," the existence of which was proven in a groundbreaking 2016 study: Gray matter in the brain shrinks in areas associated with processing and social signals. This change then allows the brain to become more efficiently wired to respond to parenting cues. Shlesinger lays down these facts to laughs — but notices it's mostly from moms in the room. "I feel like women are cackling at this and men are like, 'There's no way; we better ask Joe Rogan.'"
This is one of her funniest bits in A Different Animal, her seventh special, which is out now on Prime Video. In an interview with Yahoo Life for our series "Unapologetically," Shlesinger told me that Rogan line is meant to "shine a light on the low-key misogyny baked into a woman saying anything intelligent" who dares to "state anything about herself." (For what it's worth, she "loves" Rogan.)
For Shlesinger, it's important that her stand-up has a message. "There's always something very scathingly honest and empowering," she tells me. And it's in the moments about womanhood and parenthood that her material gets not only the most guffaws, but emphatic cheers. "I believe as a comic, it's our job to say the things that people feel that they can't or to give a voice to that elephant in the room. Usually, those are just insights about women, the way that we feel, the way that we feel we're treated — one man's scathing is another man's tame. So, I leave it up to people to decide what that is."
What is your approach to including your kids in your material, whether onstage or online?
There's very little that we can control in this world, and the internet every day reveals itself to be a new form of terrible, so I choose not to share my children's faces. I think we'll get to a point in life where there's a sort of digital rights associated with the image of your face. I just don't think people need to see that part of my life. It's one of the few things that I do keep to myself.
In terms of talking about them, my comedy tends to be commentary on things versus the actual [child]. I'm still processing being a mom and how life affirming and altering that is. ... I certainly don't have any complaints because they're so little. I mean, my children are so young at this time. When they become annoying teenagers, I'll circle back.
I love your unapologetic approach to parenting. How has your parenting style shifted since welcoming your son?
You know, he's a little baby and we have his nanny who's with him. And my job as his mom is to make sure that he's provided for and taken care of. Sometimes that involves having another woman help me. I think our greatest strength as women is paying other women in our lives, be it if your mother-in-law comes over or a relative or a friend. But the truth is, as a woman, no matter how you choose to parent, people are gonna take an issue, take umbrage with it. So at the end of the day, do what works for you and don't ask for feedback.
We've gotta talk about mom brain. I spit out my coffee laughing at the Joe Rogan line. When did you come up with that one?
I have no idea. I'm friends with Joe Rogan. I love him, but it does sort of shine a light on the low-key misogyny baked into a woman saying anything intelligent and the sort of comment section uprising against any woman who dares to make, to ascertain or state anything about herself. And you're just always met with people who know less than you, insisting they know more.
My daughter is 6 and I'm not convinced it goes away. How is your mom brain right now?
It's firing on all cylinders, which means no cylinders at all. Yesterday onstage, I said "president" instead of "present." As a mom, you need a full night's sleep and speech therapy to make sure you're getting out the words. I look back at all the times I laughed at my mom for saying my brother's name instead of mine, and now I think I need to send her some flowers and an apology.
Your career is on fire, which, of course, means you're booked and busy. Do you experience mom guilt, and if so, how do you deal with that?
It's not so much guilt as it's abject sadness. My daughter is taken care of. She has people in her life, she has her school and I've worked really hard to give her support and a routine. I think it would be selfish to make her tour on the road with me. Not that I don't take her every once in a while as a treat, but I think at this stage, her having a routine is the most important thing. So it's really just I guess my burden to bear. It's just me crying, looking at videos of her from when she was 1 on a flight home or in a hotel room. Any parent who travels knows this feeling. And it's just a sort of sadness that you have to carry with you, knowing that you do love this job. But now that I'm a mom, my heart's just broken a little bit, almost all the time.
I was raised with a busy, working mom. I'm a working mom. There are a lot of lessons to be learned there too, raising kids.
I think it's important, especially for little girls, to have it be normalized that moms work hard, whether that's working hard being their mom or working outside of the home. But I think it's more important to see a mom who is fulfilled. And I hope that's what my daughter takes from this.
We've got to talk about the pants you wear in your special. I don't know 20-year-olds who could pull off the pants you wore in your special.
I don't know any 20-year-olds.
Are you more confident now at 42 than you've ever been? Or have you always had this confidence?
I know that I'm gonna get thrown in jail for this, but I've always had this confidence. And confidence doesn't mean that you're always nailing it. Confidence doesn't mean you're always the best one in the room. I've just never questioned the fact that I belong in certain spaces and that I could wear whatever I wanted.
You know, you always want to look nice. You never want to embarrass yourself. And there are plenty of times I am conservative, but your stage is an opportunity to be an extension of who you are in a bigger and bolder way. And I honestly, when I found the pants, didn't think they would be a big deal. That's how, I guess, out of touch I am. I was just like, 'These are cool!' I see myself as 21, why not? But I did work really hard to wear them.
I found those right when I was pregnant with my son, Ethan. I worked out all during my pregnancy. And after the pregnancy, I had a goal in mind. I think we need to be more OK with a woman being like, 'I worked really f***ing hard because there was something that I wanted to do.' And so I did it.
This interview was edited for length and clarity.