Parents Give Daughter's Car to Son. Now, They Expect Her to Buy a New One to Drive Them Around
A woman maintained and insured her dad's Jeep for years, using it to help her parents
Her brother complained, so her parents gave him the car, even though he lives 45 minutes away
When they asked her to buy her own car to keep helping them, she stood her groundA woman turns to the Reddit community for advice following a family dispute over a car she used for four years.
In her post, she questions whether she's in the wrong for refusing to help her parents with transportation after they gave the car to her brother.
She explains that she has "maintained and paid the registration and insurance" on a car her parents own "for years.'
Though she acknowledges that the Jeep Grand Cherokee legally belongs to her parents, she feels she's more than earned her time with it. She explains that her mom doesn't drive and her dad lost his license after a DUI, so she was the only one in the house who could use the car.
Her dad only had the car for three years before his license was revoked. 'It was fully paid off so I just took over paying for insurance and registration,' she explains.
The car served her well for four years and made it easier to support her parents. 'It was nice to have a car for errands and for running errands for my folks,' she writes, noting that it's "a much nicer car than I would have gotten for myself.'
The situation took a turn when her brother, who lives across town, started complaining during a recent visit. 'He was pissier than usual about me getting a free car,' she recalls. 'He was hollering about how I'm the golden child and my parents give me everything.'
In response, her father decided to take the car back and give it to her brother instead. 'Like I said it's not my car and I really don't need one,' she concedes.
Living just a few blocks from her parents and working from home, she doesn't rely on a vehicle for day-to-day needs. 'I work from home. My clients see me in my home,' she explains, noting that her salon is located on the main floor of her house.
She gets her groceries delivered and most of her other necessities from Amazon. She also uses public transit when necessary. "I don't need a car or the expense of a car," she explains.
However, tension escalated when her mom asked for a ride to a hearing aid appointment and was reminded that her daughter no longer had the car. When her dad later asked when she planned to buy a new one, she "told him I don't need a car.'
Her father expressed concern that she might expect him to buy her another vehicle. 'He said he hoped that I'm not expecting him to buy me a car just to run errands for them,' she writes.
Standing her ground, she offered a compromise. 'I said that I would not be getting a car but that if he wants I will split the cost of a car share membership.'
http://people-app.onelink.me/HNIa/kz7l4cuf
Her dad agreed, reluctantly, but then suggested she cover the full cost. 'I reiterated that I do not need a car,' she says firmly. 'And that if he keeps it up I won't even split the cost with him.'
The core of the issue, she suggests, is less about the car and more about fairness and family dynamics. Her brother, now the owner of the vehicle, reportedly took their mother grocery shopping once and made her cry by treating it as a major inconvenience.
'They didn't want to ask him for favors,' she shares. 'I pointed out that they could just ask for the car back but that was also a non starter.'
Despite her efforts to set boundaries, her father accused her of being 'ungrate[ful] and childish' for not replacing the car after benefiting from it for four years. Her response? 'I just roll my eyes now.'
In a brief edit to the post, she clarifies that she's no longer paying for the car's insurance, although the registration remains under her father's name. She also admits that she "did use the car for personal stuff sometimes," like "getting together with girlfriends and going on dates.'
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'I don't like men knowing where I live before I get to know them,' she explains.
As the post concludes, it's clear she's not asking for sympathy, just perspective. She's drawn a line, offered a compromise, and is refusing to be guilted into shouldering a responsibility that no longer makes sense for her. Now, she's left wondering if standing her ground makes her the villain.
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