Maid of Honor Demands Bridesmaids Who Didn't Attend Bachelorette Trip Cover Bride's Costs: 'Completely Blindsided'
A bridesmaid has been 'blindsided' by a maid of honor asking her to cough up some money for a trip she had to skip out on — due to financial reasons.
The concerned member of the bridal party, a 25-year-old woman, shared her story while seeking advice from Reddit users on a forum dedicated to wedding-related drama. She is a bridesmaid in her close friend's wedding, which is 'coming up soon," she explained.
'A few months ago, the maid of honor planned a bachelorette party in another country. From the very beginning, I let them know I wouldn't be able to attend due to financial reasons — international travel and the associated costs just aren't in my budget right now,' the bridesmaid wrote in the July 17 post.
'Everyone was understanding,' she said of her opting out on account of her financial situation. At least, that's what she thought at the time.
The bachelorette trip happened without her, as planned, but when those who did attend got home, the maid of honor still asked her to chip in. She requested money, per the bridesmaid, to cover the cost of the bride's portion of the vacation.
The maid of honor sent a 'message in the group chat — specifically one that included only the bridal party members who did not attend the trip — asking each of us to send $300 so the bride wouldn't have to pay her share of the trip,' the bridesmaid said.
'This completely blindsided me,' she said of the maid of honor's request.
Not only had the bridesmaid 'never agreed to contribute financially to something I wasn't attending,' but the maid of honor never said anything about covering for the bride.
At 'no point before or during the planning,' she wrote, 'did anyone say anything about splitting the bride's costs among people who weren't going. If they had, I would've made it clear that I couldn't afford that either.'
'Now I'm feeling really weird about the whole thing,' she said. 'On one hand, I get that people want to treat the bride, and if I'd been part of the trip I might have chipped in with the others to cover some of her expenses. But to ask for that money after the fact, from people who didn't even go, feels unfair and borderline manipulative.'
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As of posting, the bridesmaid had not responded to the maid of honor's request, she said, and does not 'want to cause drama — but I also feel like I shouldn't have to pay for something I didn't attend, especially when I was upfront from the beginning.'
She concluded the Reddit post by asking users if she is in the wrong for being upset, and specifically 'for thinking it's unfair to ask me to pay $300 for a trip I didn't go on.'
In response, most users agreed that the frustrated bridesmaid was in the right, both because she opted out of the trip for financial reasons in the first place and because the maid of honor never communicated her intent to have her help cover the bride's costs.
'If this were an expectation, this all should have been clearly communicated to all bridesmaids BEFORE the trip so people could adjust their budget or opt out in time,' said the top-voted response. 'For those who didn't attend, you all shouldn't be expected to foot any part of the bill and anything you decide to gift (if at all) should be considered a kindness.'
Meanwhile, other users drafted potential replies to the maid of honor's surprise request.
'I'm sorry but I made it clear from the beginning that I was unable to participate in the bachelorette party for financial reasons,' one wrote, while another suggested sending: 'Hello, MOH. I was not able to attend this festivity due to my budget and salary. It is for the same reason that I will not be able to contribute to the trip for BRIDE. Cheers."
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