Doctors dismissed my symptoms as IBS 3 times before giving me 6 months to live – surgery left me ‘gutted like a fish'
He was later diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given six months to live.
6
Austin Birks, 65, was immediately concerned when his bowel habits began to change in 2018.
As the CEO of a large human resources company, but also a karate teacher, owning his own karate club, Enso Karate Club in Birmingham, Austin is committed to keeping himself in good shape.
The regularity and appearance of his stool was different, and he also noticed blood when he went to the toilet.
Austin, from Clent in Worcestershire, went to his GP who told him he probably had IBS and recommended some products from the pharmacy.
But nothing made any difference so Austin went back only to be dismissed again.
When he returned for the third time, a stool sample was taken - only for it to be lost at the hospital.
'By that time, I felt like I was in deep trouble because I'd been losing weight and been feeling a lot of fatigue and those kind of symptoms,' Austin says.
'My girlfriend at the time, Yvonne, encouraged me to get a CT scan done quickly.'
The private scan revealed a very large tumour in his bowel.
Doctors asked him to come in immediately, and he underwent major surgery because the cancer had also burst through the bowel wall.
Diagnosed with bowel cancer at 22
'The wonderful surgeon managed to get rid of the tumour and did her very best, and then I embarked on a series of chemotherapy treatments,' Austin said.
'Within three or four months, much to my amazement and delight, my oncologist, the brilliant Dr Peter Correa, said to me 'it looks like against all odds, the cancer's gone'.
'As you can imagine, that was fantastic news.'
Back with a vengeance
But only three months later, Austin went back for another scan only to find that actually, the cancer was back with a vengeance - and it had spread.
Another surgery was scheduled, but as it was during the Covid pandemic, the night before the operation Austin was called to say there were no beds for him.
He was then advised in order to undergo surgery quickly, he'd have to pay for it privately, and that it would cost £51,000.
Fortunately, his family helped him raise the money in 24 hours.
"I went and had the surgery with two surgeons," said Austin.
'It took five and a half hours, and when I came around, I remember the one surgeon saying to me, 'how do you feel?'
'I said, 'a bit sore', because I'd had about sixty odd stitches.
'The surgeon said 'yes, well, you've been gutted like a fish! The surgery went well - I'll shake you by the hand.'
'I said we shouldn't because of Covid and he joked: 'I've had my hands in your stomach for the last five hours so it won't make too much of a difference!''
Remaining positive
Austin came home, recovered and started another round of chemotherapy. Amazingly, within a few months, a scan showed the cancer had gone.
But devastatingly, three months later, another scan showed that cancer had come back in two places.
He's now undergone 120 rounds of intensive chemotherapy, as well as radiotherapy - and even had to battle sepsis and blood poisoning at the same time.
But despite his ordeal, Austin is determined to remain positive and has even engaged in stand-up comedy three times to raise money for Cancer Research UK to try to see the light in his situation.
Despite his initial misdiagnosis, he can't speak highly enough of the care he's had from the NHS since finding out he had cancer.
He is also hugely grateful to his family and friends.
'I've been very fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful people, and when I have dark moments I go back to all those people, their messages, all that care and that love, and it just sustains you,' he said.
'Plus, the National Health Service has been absolutely magnificent, and I can't fault the South Warwickshire University Foundation Trust and the amazing cancer teams at Warwick and Stratford Hospitals.'
6
6
6
He's outlived his initial prognosis and is passionate about raising awareness of bowel cancer and its symptoms.
'My oncologist said to me that I had a 25 percent chance of lasting two years, but I just didn't believe it was me,' Austin said.
'I had this strong sense of needing to get through this.
'It will be seven years in September with cancer, and I think one of the key things I've learned is your mental and physical strength are absolutely vital to survive.'
Austin also blogs about his experience, returned to teaching karate just six weeks after his first operation, and remains committed to staying active.
He's taking part in the static bike Tour de 4 as hip issues now prevent him from road cycling, while his brother, Chris Birks, 67, a retired RAF group captain and former station commander of RAF Kinloss, takes on a 37-mile challenge in solidarity, all in aid of Cancer Research UK.
'Since I got cancer, I decided I wanted to try and use it as productively as I could,' Austin explained.
'I try to make my blogs engaging, entertaining and humorous, but at the same time, I don't sugarcoat cancer either: I write about the good, the bad, and the ugly."
'Seek help as early as possible'
Austin's message to others is to seek help as early as possible if you notice any unusual symptoms.
'If you're in any doubt at all, if you think you might have changing bowel habits, then don't keep quiet, don't be shy and don't be embarrassed, which a lot of people are,' he said.
'As soon as you come out with it and tell the doctor, the quicker the care you can get and the more chance of recovery you have.
'You know your body, and if things change, and you recognise the symptoms, seek help, be persistent, and if you're unhappy, get a second opinion because the sooner you get identified, then the sooner you get treated.
"Every single doctor and nurse has just been great - I've been gobsmacked at the care, the attention and the devotion that I've received from people across the NHS.
'If you have any worries, see the doctor and let the machinery take over because they're really good and they know what they're doing.
'You may have one or two negative experiences on the journey, but the quicker you're in that process, the better.'
Austin feels that despite his struggles, he's also learned valuable lessons.
'You change your values quite significantly when you're facing this,' he added.
'What suddenly yesterday was important no longer matters at all.
'What really matters is those you care for and those who care for you. As a proud dad to a daughter, I need to keep fighting for her as well as her mum, my family and my friends.
'I most certainly will keep true to my mantra of never give up, never give in!'
Donate to Austin and Chris's fundraiser via https://gofund.me/56331380.
You can find his blog at www.thebagforlife.co.uk.
What are the red flag warning signs of bowel cancer?
IT'S the fourth most common cancer in the UK, the second deadliest - yet bowel cancer can be cured, if you catch it early enough.
While screening is one way of ensuring early diagnosis, there are things everyone can do to reduce their risk of the deadly disease.
Being aware of the signs and symptoms of bowel cancer, spotting any changes and checking with your GP can prove a life-saver.
If you notice any of the signs, don't be embarrassed and don't ignore them. Doctors are used to seeing lots of patients with bowel problems.
The five red-flag symptoms of bowel cancer include:
Bleeding from the back passage, or blood in your poo
A change in your normal toilet habits - going more frequently for example
Pain or a lump in your tummy
Extreme tiredness
Losing weight
Tumours in the bowel typically bleed, which can cause a shortage of red blood cells, known as anaemia. It can cause tiredness and sometimes breathlessness.
In some cases bowel cancer can block the bowel, this is known as a bowel obstruction.
Other signs include:
Gripping pains in the abdomen
Feeling bloated
Constipation and being unable to pass wind
Being sick
Feeling like you need to strain - like doing a number two - but after you've been to the loo
While these are all signs to watch out for, experts warn the most serious is noticing blood in your stools.
But, they warn it can prove tricky for doctors to diagnose the disease, because in most cases these symptoms will be a sign of a less serious disease.
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The Guardian
15 minutes ago
- The Guardian
‘Bad deaths scar families for ever': what terminally ill people want you to know about assisted dying
When she was only 18, a few months into an undergraduate degree in classics at Warwick University, Maddie Cowey was diagnosed with a rare cancer called sarcoma. She had gone to the GP about a lump on her shoulder that had been growing for 18 months. Soon after, she learned that the cancer had spread and was incurable. As there are no approved treatments in this country for Cowey's type of cancer, it has been managed so far through a mix of clinical trials and compassionate-use (individual, rather than group trial) drugs. 'The cancer is not completely stable,' she says. 'The aim is to slow it down. If it shrinks, that's great.' Now, aged 27, she isn't experiencing any symptoms from the cancer itself. 'I'm in reasonably good health. Most of the issues I've had have been side-effects from the treatment. Cowey photographed with her parents Jane and Colin (above) and at home taking her medications (top left), some of which is stored in her fridge 'I've definitely had times where I feel like my young adult years have been taken away from me and I felt more bitter about it,' Cowey says. 'I've had to process a lot of different things, but I'm in quite a good space now, where I feel accepting of it.' She has just returned from a two-week trip to visit her sister in Vietnam and currently works four days a week for a disabled persons' charity. 'I know the biggest opponents to assisted dying are the disability rights activists,' Cowey says. 'As someone living with a life-limiting health condition who will have to rely on the state at some point, I completely get the perspective of a disabled person. But the assisted dying bill is specifically for dying people. 'Cancer can be so uncertain, especially when it spreads to your organs, and you don't know which one it's going to decide to destroy and how painful it's going to be,' she says. 'Knowing there might be an alternative brings a lot of relief and hope. We deserve the right at the end of life to say how it's going to go.' Miranda Ashitey, photographed by South Norwood Lake, south London Miranda Ashitey died of metastatic breast cancer on 26 June, less than three weeks after her 43rd birthday. A former administrator and VW camper van driver, she is seen here in South Norwood Lake in south London, close to where she lived. Ashitey was first diagnosed with stage two breast cancer in 2014. She went into remission for about three years before learning that the cancer had spread in February 2019. 'What I thought was a seasonal cold lasted a long time, so I eventually went to the doctor,' she later recalled. 'They said I had a chest infection, to take some antibiotics, it'll be fine. It wasn't fine.' Throughout her illness, Ashitey campaigned to raise awareness and improve treatment for those with secondary breast cancer, focusing in particular on the experiences of Black and LGBTQ+ people. Fundraising efforts for cancer charities included the Great North Run, which she completed five times, and a skydive in 2022. Ashitey's bag with a badge saying she is shielding (above left) and her walking stick with its pink ribbon (above right) On assisted dying, Ashitey said she could 'see both parts', especially why disabled people might 'feel under more pressure to make a decision that might not be in their interest'. Coming from a west African background also made discussing the possibility of an assisted death with some members of her family 'a bit difficult'. 'But then people need to be able to have that choice if they want to end their lives,' she said. 'It's like I'm saying, 'I'm giving up' – but I'm not giving up: I'm facing reality. Being matter-of-fact rather than emotional is how I deal with things, and how this should be dealt with.' Sophie Blake, 52 (in pink), with her mother Christine (left), daughter Maya (second right) and sister Lucy (right) 'I have a family with a lot of cancer in it, and I've known people to suffer as they die since I was a teenager,' says Sophie Blake, 52, a former TV presenter and prominent campaigner for assisted dying. 'So I've always 100% believed in the right to choose. When I was diagnosed myself, it seemed natural to help campaign for it, whether it happens in my lifetime or not.' Blake, who lives in Brighton with her 18-year-old daughter Maya, received her initial primary breast cancer diagnosis in December 2020. Despite her family history, she was mistakenly told that she had a low risk of recurrence. But as soon as she finished treatment, she started feeling unwell. In May 2022, Blake learned the cancer had metastasised – to her lungs, liver, pelvic bone and abdominal lymph node. There was also new cancer on the skin where she'd had her lumpectomy. While the cancer is incurable, Blake has responded well to treatment and there is currently no evidence of active disease in her body – though the drug holding it at bay comes with challenging side-effects, including fatigue, cornea damage and bone and joint problems. But she's happy to put up with all of it to stay alive: to keep 'making memories with friends and family, travelling, adventures, being a mum'. Blake recognises the 'irony' of this focus on extending life alongside campaigning for 'the right to have a peaceful and dignified death'. But she required multiple surgeries after Maya's birth, and learned then that she is allergic to opioid painkillers. 'They couldn't manage my pain properly,' she recalls. 'It was awful.' The idea of going through a 'potentially excruciating death' with unrelieved pain terrifies Blake but, even more, she doesn't want her daughter to see her in that state. 'I don't want that to be her final memory of me,' she says. Last year, Maya, who is studying music performance at college in Brighton, joined her mother in campaigning for the assisted dying bill. 'If more people who were against it read up on it,' Maya says, 'they wouldn't be against it as much.' Blake with her daughter at home in Brighton (top) and some of the supplements she takes alongside her cancer medication (above) Mother and daughter were in the House of Commons, along with Blake's mother and sister, when MPs passed the bill in June. 'The relief was overwhelming,' Blake says. 'Campaigning and discussing my potential death so publicly over the last 18 months has been an intense process, and I was so worried it would have all been for nothing. When the result was read out, I burst out crying – which isn't like me at all.' Richard Tingey and his daughter Heidi photographed near his wife Barbara's woodland burial grave in Suffolk Barbara Tingey died of bowel cancer at the age of 76, in July 2023. She was diagnosed two years earlier, six months after her daughter Heidi's husband John had died of the same disease. A former deputy headteacher at a secondary school in Norfolk, Tingey had taught chemistry since the 1960s. After taking early retirement, she and her husband Richard went on holidays, mostly to France, and spent time with family: Heidi, their other daughter Katie, and their three grandchildren. 'She was so determined to stay alive and beat the odds,' Heidi says. Her mother had three rounds of chemotherapy – 'Then the treatment stopped working.' From early 2023, her condition deteriorated rapidly. Although her family didn't know it at the time, Tingey decided to stockpile pain medication. Richard and Barbara are pictured on their wedding day in 1976 'She didn't talk about the pain much, because she was trying to not draw attention to the fact she was stockpiling morphine,' Heidi says. But Richard recalls 'months of sheer agony', despite good palliative care. At the beginning of July, she attempted to overdose. She was transferred to a hospice and died just over a week later. 'I think Mum did what she did because she was suffering and she couldn't control when she was going to die,' Heidi says. The experience has convinced Richard to support the right to an assisted death 'with safeguards in place … I don't want my two daughters to suffer what we went through with Barbara,' he says. Lucy Davenport and her son Joss photographed on the seafront in Scarborough Lucy Davenport's husband Tom, a musician and music teacher in Scarborough, died of complications caused by bile duct cancer in August 2023 at the age of 48. He received his diagnosis just a year earlier – the first sign was the whites of his eyes turning yellow – and was given 11-12 months to live. Throughout Davenport's illness, the couple discussed whether Lucy should help him die 'if he got to the point where it was too much'. But they knew she couldn't risk being arrested and leaving their son Joss, now 10, alone. Lucy recalls that at one stage her husband asked a doctor 'for something to just make him go to sleep so he didn't wake up again. The doctor's response was, 'Not unless you grow another two legs and a tail' – a really blunt statement that I think sums the situation up,' says Lucy. 'That year that we had together we really did it well. We went to Disneyland. Tom and Joss saw Kiss and met them.' They organised a fundraising gig with performances by many of Davenport's students, friends and bandmates past and present. 'It was beautiful – like a living wake.' And in June 2023, the couple – who had met on a dating site 10 years earlier – had a surprise wedding (people thought they were going to Lucy's 40th birthday party). Lucy Davenport looks through her and Tom's wedding album (top left); Tom's ashes (top right); Lucy and Joss (above) During his second round of chemotherapy, Davenport became too ill to continue. In hospice, he was made as comfortable as possible. But the cancer had spread to his bowels, causing an obstruction that resulted in faecal vomiting for five hours. Eventually he choked and died. 'It was very, very traumatic. I have PTSD,' Lucy says. 'He would be horrified that we went through that.' Lucy and Joss now live with her friend Alice, whom she met many years ago through Davenport. She continues to feel his presence. 'He's definitely still around. I was listening to a playlist, really silly pop stuff. Then Working Man by Rush came on – one of Tom's favourite bands. So I just went, 'All right, I'll leave it on for you.'' Nathaniel Dye in Hainault forest preparing to run the 2025 London Marathon Nathaniel Dye , a 39-year-old music teacher living in Essex, started running about a decade ago with what he calls 'the zeal of a late convert'. With hindsight, the first sign that there was something wrong with his health was probably a 'small deterioration in training'. In October 2022, he was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer. Soon it was discovered to have spread to his lymph nodes. The five-year survival odds were 10%. In the face of this prognosis, Dye set about cramming as much life in as possible. A year after his diagnosis, he completed a 100-mile run from Essex to London – possibly the farthest distance anyone has undertaken with a stoma. In April 2024, he did the London marathon while playing the trombone, and that summer embarked on a 60-day, 1,200km walk from John O'Groats in Scotland to Land's End in Cornwall. 'It just feels like the biggest gift that my body let me do that,' Dye says. In February, with mounting health issues, he was told he probably had one year to live. 'This may well be my last July. Try getting your head around that,' he says. He saw running the London marathon this past April as a 'last chance' and completed it in just under eight hours (although, as a former ultramarathon runner, he admits he 'found it difficult to accept any praise for the achievement'). Since diagnosis, Dye has also raised more than £40,000 (and counting) for Macmillan Cancer Support, receiving an MBE at the end of last year for his efforts. Less than a month after the marathon, Dye was taken to hospital with a near-fatal pulmonary embolism. He is less and less mobile, which, 'as someone formerly so active, is very hard to deal with', and has decided to take early retirement this summer, after being signed off work sick for most of the past two years. He hopes soon to be able to go on a long-discussed canal holiday with a small group of friends. 'It's just a case of constantly reassessing expectations based on what my body can do and getting the most out of every day, week, month, whatever timescale it is.' It's important for Dye to emphasise how much he wants to keep living while also supporting assisted dying. 'The notion of 'assisted suicide' really, really gets to me, because if there's anything I'm not, it's suicidal,' he says. He has in the past struggled with suicidal ideation but since getting his diagnosis 'it's been the total opposite … That intent to keep going is not, for me, mutually exclusive with the concept of assisted dying at the point where there isn't any light at the end of the tunnel.' Dye and his brother Jon running this year's London Marathon (top) and receiving his MBE at Windsor Castle in March In written evidence submitted to parliament, Dye described the passage of the assisted dying bill as his 'dying wish'. Now, he says, he 'won't quite believe it's real until it becomes law. I don't speak for all dying people, but I know a change in the law would bring me the greatest comfort as I try to settle into my last weeks and months.' Josh Cook photographed at home in Huddersfield 'I grew up knowing I was at risk of Huntington's and that my mum had it,' says Josh Cook, a 34-year-old rugby coach from Huddersfield. Children have a 50/50 chance of inheriting the gene that causes the fatal neurodegenerative disorder. The disease – which shares symptoms with Parkinson's, dementia and ALS – goes back generations in Cook's family. At 18, he learned he had the gene, too. 'We've just been unlucky at every coin toss, but I'm not going to have children, so it will stop there,' he says. Cook's mum, Lisa, took her own life last year at the age of 57. Her symptoms had begun several years earlier: slurring of speech, involuntary muscle movements, loss of balance. The prognosis was unpredictable; patients usually live for 10-30 years after symptom onset. 'I knew she would never go through with the illness,' Cook says. 'My mum watched my great-grandma go through every stage of it at home. One thing that sticks with me was that Mum saw her wear a hole through the carpet in front of her chair from twitching her legs. My mum didn't want that for herself.' Cook with his mum at a wedding in 1993 (above, top right) and after she gained her degree from the University of London (above, right bottom). His mum had long been a campaigner for assisted dying – she is seen (above left, back right) delivering a petition to No 10 with others in 2002 Cook, who so far hasn't had any symptoms, believes he would make the same decision as his mother. That's why a change in the law is so important to him: 'So that people can stop the generational trauma.' He wouldn't qualify for assisted dying under the law currently being proposed, as in the final stages of Huntington's mental competency is affected. But he is hopeful that the law would give people with this disease a basis to go to court and express their wishes in advance. 'We are still afraid of death in this country,' he says. 'For a very small group of us, this is something we think about because we have to. The end of my life is going to matter to me as much as the rest of it.' Mick Murray and Carol Taylor photographed in the Peak District close to the wall where their friend Bob Cole first noticed he was out of breath walking uphill – which was unusual as he was a mountaineer A married couple living in Derbyshire, Mick Murray and Carol Taylor have spent the past decade campaigning for assisted dying in memory of their longtime friends, husband and wife Bob Cole and Ann Hall. In 2013 Hall, a social worker and activist, was diagnosed with a rare terminal neurological condition called progressive supranuclear palsy. Quickly deteriorating, she decided to travel to Dignitas while she was still able in February 2014 – she was 68. Just over a year later Cole, a former town councillor, learned he had mesothelioma, an aggressive form of lung cancer likely caused by him working with asbestos as an apprentice carpenter in his teens. In August 2015, he, too, made the journey to Dignitas, aged 68. 'They actually had a choice over the way that they died, and they wanted to die in a way that was dignified,' says Taylor. Murray adds: 'The opponents call it assisted suicide. But the root of suicide is loneliness, despair and depression. This is due to illness. It was almost life-affirming, being there for the actual event. It was really sad, but it certainly wasn't suicide.' The Sun's coverage of Cole's death at Dignitas in 2015, which he had invited the newspaper to report on. He was 68 But Murray and Taylor are adamant people shouldn't have to go to Dignitas. 'Bob and Ann didn't have any children. They didn't have any parents alive. When you've got family, making that decision, to go and die before you need to, is more difficult,' says Taylor. And beside the often-prohibitive cost, there are bureaucratic challenges, because medical services don't always cooperate in providing the necessary records. 'No ill person could navigate this system, so other people have to navigate it for them. And in so doing, you become complicit,' says Murray. On the prospect of the law changing in the not-too-distant future, Taylor says: 'It's got to be time, hasn't it?' Pauline McLeod, photographed at her home near York 'He was very anxious about what was going to happen to him,' says Pauline McLeod, whose husband, Ian, died of motor neurone disease at the age of 76 in 2023. Life expectancy for someone with MND sufferer is typically one to five years – McLeod had been diagnosed two years earlier. Over the course of the disease, McLeod lost his mobility and his speech and experienced difficulties with swallowing and breathing. 'Not having control was terrifying for him,' Pauline says. Pauline is pictured here in the home she and Ian, a management consultant, shared in North Yorkshire. But they spent a lot of time travelling as well – to Singapore, Indonesia, Australia. 'He had a very, very full life: travelled a lot, liked fast cars and was pretty fearless, really,' Pauline recalls. 'And then the diagnosis was just so devastating – he couldn't cope with the restrictions that brought for him. He knew that all he had to look forward to was a steady decline.' McLeod would wake up at night with panic attacks that required sedation. An especially difficult milestone was selling their collection of classic cars. 'I caught him in the garage crying. They were his passion; he lost everything he cared about,' says Pauline. Photographs taken by McLeod (top) and a small replica Ferrari given to him (above) – he was obsessed with collecting cars but sold them before he died In June 2022, McLeod attempted to take his own life. Eventually, after he stopped eating and drinking, he was admitted to a hospice where he could die peacefully. 'We were very lucky that they took him, because it's not the same everywhere,' Pauline says. The prospect of legalised assisted dying would, she thinks, be a form of 'closure … nobody else has to go through what Ian and I had to go through'. Anil Douglas, photographed in Golders Hill park, Golders Green, London, where he used to visit with his father Anil is the son of Ian Douglas, who took his own life in February 2019, the day before his 60th birthday. Douglas was suffering from secondary progressive multiple sclerosis, having been diagnosed with the neurodegenerative disease in the 1980s. While MS is incurable, it is not usually considered a terminal illness. However, Douglas's GP had confirmed that his condition was terminal due to the progressive weakening of his immune system. Largely paralysed and in increasing pain, he decided to end his own life while he was still physically able. In a letter to be read at his funeral, he wrote, 'This was not a cry for help, and I end my life not distraught or depressed, but as happy as I can be in the circumstances.' However, the circumstances of his death were 'deeply traumatic', says Anil, who found his father as he was dying. 'Nothing can prepare you for that experience of grief in real time, like watching a car crash unfold before your eyes.' It later became apparent that Douglas had already made two attempts on his life in the previous weeks. 'His death was a really lonely, dangerous one. He obviously couldn't tell any of us about his decision.' Anil as a baby with his dad Ian (top); with his sister Anjili, 34 (ahove), on Hampstead Heath near Kenwood House, where they used to take their dad in his wheelchair The trauma was compounded by a police investigation, which saw five police cars show up at the family home. Anil and his sister's phones and their father's electronic devices were confiscated, and the siblings later had to give formal interviews. The investigation 'hung over our heads for months'. Afterwards Anil, who also went through the death of his mother Reena from cancer in 2008, began to campaign for changes to the law. 'Bad deaths scar you for ever,' he says. 'Whereas the law currently being proposed would lead to so many more good deaths, where people have the chance to come to terms with the reality of their death.' Steve Gibson, photographed at Westway Coaches in south London, where he used to work Steve Gibson, a 67-year-old former coach driver from south London, was diagnosed with motor neurone disease (MND) in January 2023. Timelines vary for the terminal illness, also known as ALS, but there is no cure or treatment. Gibson, who lives with his daughter Emma and two of his grandchildren, seems to be a slow progressor. But MND will take away his ability to walk, talk, eat and eventually breathe. He has noticed his already deep voice getting 'croakier' due to increased difficulty clearing his throat. As a sociable person, losing the ability to communicate is especially scary; he recently started using a voice-banking app suggested by the NHS. 'My big concern was: am I still going to sound like a south Londoner? And, secondly, can I swear? The answer to both was yes.' Life-extending options for MND include a feeding tube and a tracheostomy to assist breathing. 'Initially, I said, 'Yeah, I want everything', because you want to live for ever,' Gibson says. But he's since changed his mind. After 'a long discussion' with his neurologist, he signed a do not resuscitate order. He remembers taking care of his dad, who died from a different neurological disorder, in the last years of his life. 'My mum couldn't deal with it. Emotionally, it wrecks you. I don't want to be like that.' Gibson at Westway Coaches with Dave, his friend and former boss (top) and with his daughter Emma and granddaughter Nellie-Rose Gibson wishes he could afford to go to Dignitas, and hopes changes to the law will happen soon enough for him to benefit. He wants to be able to decide when to call it quits. 'I'm very happy with the life I've had. People ask if I've got any regrets. Well, yeah, maybe, but you can't do anything about it. So we move forward as we are. That's good enough for me.'
The Sun
an hour ago
- The Sun
Does the Pill harm fertility and do spicy foods actually induce labour? Expert busts 13 myths you probably believe
MOST of us know not to believe everything we read on the internet. But somehow, many old wives' tales manage to stick. 6 6 This is especially true when it comes to fertility and pregnancy. It's naturally an exciting but worrying time, and parents -to-be are often desperate to do everything 'right'. But should you really eat a spicy curry to induce labour? And will sleeping on your back while pregnant actually harm your baby? Here, Katherine Walker, service development manager and practitioner at the National Childbirth Trust, separates fact from fiction. 1. The pill harms your fertility - FALSE NO matter which one you use or how long you've been taking it, contraceptive pills do not harm fertility. It can take several months for your periods to return to normal, but there is no long-term impact. In fact, research by Wolkite University found 83 per cent of women get pregnant within 12 months of coming off the pill. Katherine tells Sun Health: 'The pill is an effective contraceptive if used correctly. It does not cause infertility.' 2. Pregnant women should avoid all fish - FALSE BRIE, salami, pâté and certain mushrooms - the list of foods to avoid while pregnant can seem endless. But there are still plenty of options, including fish. Dancing on Ice star shocked as she discovers bizarre reason for her 'unexplained infertility' Many women assume they need to cut all seafood from their diet once they realise they're expecting, however that's not true. 'It is actually recommended that pregnant women eat two portions of fish a week, including oily fish such as salmon, sardines or mackerel,' Katherine says. Cooked shellfish, such as mussels, lobster, crab, prawns, scallops and clams are also fine. However, certain fish should be avoided. 'This includes shark, swordfish and marlin due to concentrations of mercury,' Katherine says. 'Cold-smoked or cured fish such as smoked salmon or gravlax, including sushi, should also be avoided unless it has been cooked until steaming hot because of the risk of bacteria or parasites.' 3. Sleeping on your back can harm your baby - TRUE WE all have our preferred sleeping positions. But where possible, mums-to-be should avoid sleeping on their backs. Katherine says: 'From 28 weeks onwards, the safer position to go to sleep in is on your side. 'Sleeping on your back after this time slightly elevates the chance of a stillbirth.' Scientists at Auckland University found the weight of the uterus when back-sleeping could restrict blood flow to the baby and 'add extra stress'. While unlikely, it is possible to become pregnant if you have sex during your period Katherine WalkerNational Childbirth Trust Separate research by the University of Huddersfield estimated that going to sleep lying on your back from 28 weeks increased the risk of stillbirth by 2.6 times. And a study published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology warned expectant mums who lie on their back rather than their side during their third trimester were three times more likely to have a baby with a low birth weight. 'Pillows can help support you to get comfortable side sleeping,' Katherine says. 'If you have a night waking and find yourself on your back, just return to a side-lying position.' 6 4. Stress causes infertility - FALSE 'STRESS causes an increase in hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which may in turn affect the hormones related to fertility,' Katherine says. 'However, plenty of people still become pregnant during stressful times, and it is unlikely to be stress alone causing fertility problems.' Feeling stressed can also impact your sex drive, perhaps reducing your chances of conception. But again, stress isn't directly impacting your physiology - rather your behaviour. 5. You can't dye your hair during pregnancy - FALSE DESPITE most research showing it is safe to do so, content regularly appears online warning women not to dye their hair during pregnancy. 'Although the chemicals in permanent and semi-permanent hair dyes may cause harm, this is only in very high doses,' the NHS says. 'When you use hair dye, you are only exposed to very low amounts.' Katherine adds: 'It is possible that these could be absorbed via the skin on your hands or head, or breathed in, but this would be at a very low level. 'Risks can be minimised by using gloves or only having highlights as these don't touch the scalp, as well as being in a well-ventilated room.' 6 6. You can get pregnant on your period - TRUE MOST women have periods around every 28 days. 'The most fertile time of the menstrual cycle is during ovulation, which usually occurs around 14 days after the start of the last period,' Katherine says. This is when an egg is released from the ovaries. And it can be fertilised when it meets a man's sperm. Theoretically, there is only a short window when you can fall pregnant, and it's around this time. However, it's difficult to pinpoint exactly when this happens, and it varies between people. Fertility facts you probably didn't know Around one in seven couples may have difficulty conceiving About 30 per cent of fertility problems are due to a man, 30 per cent due to a woman, and 30 to 40 per cent to both or unknown causes More than eight out of 10 couples, where the woman is under 40, will conceive naturally within a year if they have regular unprotected sex (every two or three days) For couples who have been trying to conceive for more than three years without success, the likelihood of getting pregnant naturally within the next year is one in four, or less A woman's caffeine intake can impact how long it takes to get pregnant A man's weight can affect a couple's ability to have a baby A 30-year-old woman with a normal reproductive system has about a 20 per cent chance of conceiving in any given month. This drops to five per cent over the age of 40 A woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have Freezing eggs before the age of 30 will probably provide the highest number of healthy eggs Around 52,500 patients had IVF and 3,000 had donor insemination (DI) treatment at licensed centres in the UK in 2022 The average age of first-time IVF patients is just over 35 One cycle of IVF can take three to six weeks Between 1991 and 2021, there were more than 390,000 births as a result of fertility treatment More than 70,000 donor-conceived children were born between 1991 and 2020 Source: NHS, British Fertility Society, Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority Sperm can also survive in the fallopian tubes for up to seven days after sex. 'Menstrual cycles vary in length, so some people ovulate earlier in their cycle, and some women experience a period which lasts for several days,' Katherine says. 'Sperm can live in the woman or birthing person's body after ejaculation for several days after sex, so conception is possible over a window of around a week and doesn't necessarily happen on the day of sex but can happen a few days later. 'While unlikely, it is possible to become pregnant if you have sex during your period.' 7. Pregnant women should always eat for two people - FALSE YOU often hear expectant mums talking about 'eating for two'. While the body is working hard and many women will feel hungrier than normal, you don't need to double all your portions or force yourself to eat. 'Pregnant women do not need to eat for two people, but having a healthy, balanced diet with a wide variety of food is important,' Katherine says. 'Those in early pregnancy should also consider taking a vitamin D and folic acid supplement to help reduce the risk of the baby having a neural tube defect, such as spina bifida. 'To support the baby's growth during the final three months of pregnancy, most people may need an extra 200 calories a day.' 6 8. Eating spicy foods induces labour - FALSE JENNIFER Aniston tries it while playing a significantly overdue Rachel Green in Friends. 'But no, spicy food does not induce labour,' Katherine says. 'It used to be a bit of an urban myth that perhaps this would stimulate the cervix, but there is no evidence that this is the case. 'It can also cause diarrhoea which irritates the intestines.' 9. You can't have sex for a long time after you give birth - FALSE DESPITE popular belief, there is no required waiting period before you can have sex after childbirth. However, waiting until after your six-week postnatal checkup - and when you feel physically and emotionally ready - is a good starting point. 'It is up to the people involved when to have sex again after birth,' Katherine says. 'Most women will feel sore and need time to recover from the birth, however, there are other ways to remain intimate during this time. 'You can become pregnant again just three weeks after giving birth, so people might want to consider which contraception to use.' 10. Pregnancy will make you gain weight - TRUE IT is normal and expected to gain weight during pregnancy. 'Everyone is different, but most people will gain 22 to 28lbs (10 to 12.5kg) over the course of the pregnancy – mainly from 20 weeks onwards,' Katherine says. 'As well as the baby, this is extra fat to help breastmilk production, a larger uterus, the placenta, and the increased blood volume needed to keep everything healthy.' Putting on too much or too little weight can lead to health problems for you or your unborn baby. If you're concerned about your weight or any other aspect of your health while pregnant, ask your midwife or GP for advice. 11. You will have pregnancy complications if you have a baby over 35 - FALSE ALTHOUGH no longer officially used by the NHS, many people still refer to any pregnancy over the age of 35 as 'geriatric'. It is therefore easy to assume that fertility falls off a cliff past this point, and if you do fall pregnant, you're likely to experience complications. But that's not necessarily true, Katherine says. While they can produce sperm throughout their lives, once men are 40 or older, the quantity and quality of sperm tends to decrease Katherine WalkerNational Childbirth Trust 'Some complications may be more likely over the age of 35 but this doesn't mean they will definitely occur,' she adds. Conditions associated with a higher maternal age include chronic hypertension (high blood pressure that exists within the first 20 weeks), gestational diabetes (high blood sugar that develops during pregnancy) and placenta praevia (where the placenta blocks the cervix). But these are not a given. 'Every pregnancy is unique, and your midwife or healthcare provider will be able to talk to you about your circumstances,' Katherine says. 12. Age only affects women's fertility - FALSE WOMEN often talk about their 'female biological clock' - the decline in fertility as they age. And it's true that women have a finite number of eggs which slowly diminishes over time. But getting older also affects men's fertility. 'While they can produce sperm throughout their lives, once men are 40 or older, the quantity and quality of sperm tends to decrease,' Katherine says. A study by the University of Bristol found that conception is 30 per cent less likely for men older than 40 than it is for men under 30. Scientists blame declining testosterone levels, decreased blood supply to the pelvic area, shrinking or softening testicles, enlarged prostates and narrowing of the tubes that move sperm from inside the testicles. 13. If you have a miscarriage you will struggle to get pregnant again - FALSE ONE in eight known pregnancies will end in miscarriage (loss during the first 23 weeks), NHS figures show. This can have a profound emotional impact on you, your partner, and your friends and family. It's natural to want to know why a miscarriage happened, but many are thought to be one-off problems with the development of the foetus. And it's reassuring to know that most people who experience a miscarriage go on to have successful pregnancies. Katherine says: 'For most people this is a one-off event, and they will go on to have a healthy pregnancy if they decide to try again.' Losing three or more pregnancies in a row (recurrent miscarriages) is uncommon and only affects around one in 100 women. 'Anyone who has experienced three or more miscarriages should be offered tests to try to find out why this has happened,' Katherine adds.
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How to make friends in later life and how it impacts health and wellbeing
As International Friendship Day approaches, it serves as a reminder of the importance of friendships at all ages and stages of life. Naturally however, as time goes on it can be harder to make and maintain friendships due to being at different stages of life, lack of confidence or other factors. For the older generation, it can be an isolating time if friendships aren't maintained. However, we spoke with experts who explain the importance of friendships at all ages, the impact it can have on health and how to create long-lasting connections. Advertisement What impacts can friendship have on the older generation? Jenny Lippiatt, strategic programme manager in the health team at Age UK, says that friendship for all generations is of high importance. 'There's a lot of evidence to suggest that having social connections is really good for your mental and physical health.' Psychotherapist Kirsten Antoncich says the impacts of friendship are huge for the older generation. 'I think one of the first things is that friendships are incredibly protective against isolation and low mood,' she says. 'Being connected in a friendship and being listened to brings a wave of really positive chemicals to the brain. 'Friendship and connections can also bring a sense of purpose, which we know is essential for warding off low mood and depression in later life. We also know it improves cognitive health so the more friendships somebody has, it's linked to things like better cognitive performance and a slow cognitive decline.' Friendships can help with cognitive benefits Anton adds that friendships also reduce stress and enhance moods. 'They are also linked to increased physical activity and better memory,' she says. Advertisement Lippiatt says: 'For older people in particular, getting out of the house and moving around if you can is really beneficial for things like balance and mobility too. If you are unable to move around less, even having connections online or inside your own home have significant mental health benefits too.' What impacts can lack of friendships have? Lippiatt says that lack of friendships can lead to loneliness, and this is where you don't have good social connections, which can be a problem for mental and physical health. 'Lonely older people are 25 per cent more likely to develop dementia,' Lippiatt says. 'It can also contribute to psychological distress, loss of wellbeing, confidence and this can subsequently lead to depression, anxiety and increased stress. Physical health can also be affected because if we don't have the social connections or reasons to leave the house, it can impact our motivation to take care of ourselves and potentially lead to unhealthy behaviours.' Anton adds: 'We also know that a sense of social isolation can be linked to a loss of purpose which can then be linked to low mood which is incredibly prevalent in that group and population already.' Advertisement How can the older generation build and maintain friendships? 'There are significant moments at certain ages that mean it's quite easy to lose friendships,' Lippiatt says. 'For example, you might retire and often work is the space to meet people and socially interact, or bereavement occurs, which is part and parcel of the older age group. Therefore it is important to maintain friendships that you already have, whether that's online or in person. 'Finding hobbies that either you previously liked or are new to you is another really good way to meet new people. Perhaps you want to go with a friend to a physical activity class such as arts and craft, music or simply going for a walk. All of these hobbies can generate friendships and are a good way to maintain them too. 'There are also often spaces within different communities for older people, where there are lots of social activities around different hobbies or just spaces to go where you can have a chat and a coffee with someone. There are also chat and tea groups within the community, so it's really a good idea to have a look in your local community at what is going on,' says Lippiatt. 'If you're religious, there often is a really good way to meet people through the church. It can be hard when you're older and you may have lost some confidence to go out and try new things, but the people that run them are very kind, open and welcoming. If you are keen to do something, you might want to take a friend along or a family member to make you feel more confident or secure.' Advertisement Anton adds: 'Look around you and look at your neighbourhood too. Connect back with your neighbours as we have really lost a bit of a sense of that due to the pandemic. You are absolutely not alone and you're likely to meet somebody who's had a similar experience to you that's also looking for a friendship.' 'I also want to remind people to normalise loneliness. It's one of the most common conditions in the younger generation too. We're not so set up as a society anymore for friendships, and I want people who are maybe feeling lonely to not feel shame at that and to not feel frightened to reach out.'
