Doechii Says She Had to 'Process' 'Denial Is a River' Before She Wrote It: 'I Didn't Want to Give My Ex Any Promo'
In a cover story with Cosmopolitan published on Monday, April 21, the Grammy-winning rapper — whose real name is Jaylah Ji'mya Hickmon — opened up about why she needed to "process" a breakup before penning her 2024 track "Denial Is a River."
"Sometimes I have to process things before I can talk about them, because if I try to do it immediately, I'm gonna say the wrong thing," Doechii, 26, told the publication. "But that song took me a year to process."
Related: Doechii Is Feeling the Stress in 'Anxiety' Music Video — Which Features a Gotye and Kimbra Easter Egg
The "Anxiety" hitmaker noted that she "didn't want to give my ex any promo in my music."
"And I talked about three different exes in that song," said Doechii. "People think it's just one! I decided I had to talk about it for me."
The "What It Is" musician also opened up about what happened when an ex creatively "stifled" her.
"I only felt that way once," Doechii recalled. "I was 18, and I was dating a guy who just wasn't very supportive of my music, and it really stifled me. I stopped writing because he was just like, 'That's not cool.'
Admittedly, she said she "took his opinion way too seriously when really he just didn't get it."
"I remember listening to SZA's Ctrl for the first time, and it literally gave me the courage to break up with him," said Doechii. "I only bring that up because she inspired me to be vulnerable through my music in a way that I didn't think I could be."
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Related: Doechii Reveals the Empowering Reason She Was Able to Overcome Suicidal Thoughts: 'I Made a Choice'
In February, Doechii took home her first Grammy in the best rap album category for her 2024 mixtape, Alligator Bites Never Heal.
During her acceptance speech, she spoke about being the third woman to receive the honor following Lauryn Hill and Cardi B.
In an interview with reporters in the press room following the awards show, where she performed "Catfish" and "Denial Is a River," Doechii detailed what winning best rap album for Alligator Bites Never Heal meant to her.
"It feels incredible," she said. "It feels like this is bigger than me. It's just like a little bit of art and authenticity wins, vulnerability wins."
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