Bride-to-Be Demands Bridesmaid Dye Her Hair for Upcoming Wedding Because She Didn't Want Her 'Punk Rock Look'

Yahoo

2 days ago

'It just felt like she was making decisions about me without asking, and that rubbed me the wrong way,' the bridesmaid wrote on Reddit
A bridesmaid is turning to the internet for some advice after her longtime best friend who is getting married suggested she dye her hair for her upcoming wedding.
The woman shared in a post on Reddit's popular 'Bridezillas' subreddit that she recently had an exchange with the bride, which 'rubbed' her 'the wrong way' and wanted to know how to handle the situation.
She shared a screenshot of the text the bride supposedly sent her, which read: 'I meant to mention this and forgot… Bridesmaid dresses are going to be a bright, deep red so you may want to go back to black for a short amount of time. Sorry to f--- up your punk rock look.'
The bridesmaid said her friend made a comment joking about her bright red hair — which she said she could 'handle' — but then told her sister that she was 'going to dye it back to black.' The bridesmaid noted that this was something she 'never said' she 'would do.'
'It just felt like she was making decisions about me without asking, and that rubbed me the wrong way,' she wrote on Reddit. 'I don't want to be dramatic, but I'm starting to feel like maybe I should still attend her wedding but not be a bridesmaid.'
'I would never ask my friends to change how they look for my big day, especially something as personal as their hair. Am I overthinking this?' she added.
She also noted that she felt that the way her friend has spoken to her has 'changed' over 'the past few years' and she can come off 'really harsh or dismissive.' She said it has gotten to the point where she sometimes feels like she's 'walking on eggshells around her.'
In response, several people on Reddit suggested that she send a message to her friend asking if she meant what she said about her bridesmaid having to dye her hair. One person said that if the bride said she 'meant it' then the bridesmaid should decline.
One person commented: '[It's absurd of people to try to change you for 'their' big day. a) it is not yours, b) it is only one day but you are supposed to bend to their will and do something costly and time consuming and potentially damaging…'
Another person suggested that the woman 'stay blunt' to her friend as 'people pleasing gets you nothing but walked on.'
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They continued, 'if I were you, I would tell her I was stepping down as a bridesmaid. This is nothing short of a personal attack. If it were me, I couldn't enjoy the wedding if I thought the bride was obsessed with my hair.'
Another added, 'if someone is asking this of you, they are not a friend who accepts you completely as you are, and that should be your most important consideration.'
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