Man Refuses to Rebuild Relationship with Wife's 'Family from Hell' After Mother-in-Law's Death
A man whose mother-in-law recently died says the rest of his wife's family now wants to be closer — but he's not interested
In a post on Reddit, he writes that he and his wife's family have always been at odds, and they went no contact for some time
But now, his wife is doing "a lot of hand-wringing" over whether they should get close againA man whose mother-in-law recently died says the rest of his wife's family now wants to be closer — but he calls them the family "from Hell."
In a post shared to Reddit, he writes that since his wife's mother died, that side of the family "wants to draw the family closer, as we've grown apart."
But he isn't intrigued by the idea. The poster explains that his wife's extended family slings insults as if they are jokes. However, most of the family "hates" him because he refuses to "roll over and take their s---."
"I'm not letting anyone talk to my wife like that," he explains. "I couldn't care less if they dislike me, I hate them too."
Still, the poster says there is "no shortage of master manipulators in the clan and they're using guilt to get my wife back into their clutches."
"There isn't one in the bunch I can stand, and my wife feels the same way," he writes. "She has as little to do with them as possible."
He continues, "We spent too long getting roped into every family affair. 'The child of someone's in-law's second cousin's ex-wife's sister just completed third grade, we should celebrate! You bring the liquor, dessert, and the main courses, we'll bring the sides.' Not much of an exaggeration there. That happened nearly every weekend!"
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The breaking point came when the couple agreed to host Easter one year. While they invited eight people, "then it became 12, then 16."
"We agreed to those extras, we accommodated. Guess how many people showed up with no warning? FIFTY. And no one brought any food," he adds. "We couldn't handle 50 people with no notice! Wife was distraught. 'What're we gonna do??' "
So, the husband stepped in and told the crowd it was "a real shame no one thought to bring anything," as they didn't have enough food or room for everyone. He then gave them "directions to Denny's," and they all "stormed out" of the house.
"We had blissful peace for three years after that of never getting invited to anything and pretty much no one speaking to us," the poster writes. "The wife had never been happier."
However, now that the family wants to reconnect, his wife "is doing a lot of hand-wringing."
http://people-app.onelink.me/HNIa/kz7l4cuf
"I reminded her how bad it was when they were in our lives, and how fantastic it's been with them out of it. We played nice while the MIL was dying and we did our part to help out," he writes. "Now, they've taken that as a sign we're going to be one big (un)happy family again."
"As much as I try to play interference, it's easy for them to get around me and work directly on her," he adds. "Genuinely have no idea what to do to make things easier on the wife but also feeling like I'm a huge part of the problem, not the solution."
Other Reddit users are encouraging the man to stick to his guns.
"You should encourage your wife to get therapy. She should not get back into the clutches of her toxic family," one user commented. "Also let her know that whatever she decides, you will not be engaging with them. They're not allowed in your house and you will not go with her to see them. Maybe that will help her decide."
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