Woman Feels ‘Sick' Planning a Bachelorette Weekend for Her Friend Whose Been Hiding an Affair
After learning that her friend was having an affair, a woman is feeling "sick" about planning her bachelorette party
She said that the bride-to-be has a history of cheating, but the groom is "clueless"
Conflicted, she asked for advice and got a variety of responsesA woman is feeling conflicted about hosting a bachelorette party for her friend after learning that she's having an affair, and she turned online for advice about how to proceed.
On the U.K. forum Mumsnet, the woman explained that she is in charge of putting together the celebratory weekend-long outing. However, she learned from a mutual friend who "swore her to secrecy" that the bride-to-be was being unfaithful.
Writing that the bride has "had previous incidents of cheating" on the "clueless" groom, she said that she "feel[s] sick planning the hen [bachelorette party], making all of our friends (working class mums) fork out for this weekend away, take time off work, sort childcare AND cover the cost of the bride knowing this."
The bachelorette party comes on top of the cost of traveling to the wedding, which is taking place "abroad."
She wrote that none of the women who are going on the trip are aware of the affair. However, "quite a few random friends know ... and even a couple of her relatives."
Saying that she feels "so sorry" for the groom, she added that she doesn't "think I've got it in me to sit through the ceremony."
"But if I pull out of everything it will raise so many questions, including from the bride," she explained.
The friend said that she would not tell the groom herself what was happening. Ultimately, she wrote, "I'm kind of hoping it all comes to a head and he either finds out or she calls it off but it doesn't look like that's happening."
A multitude of other Mumsnetters replied in the comments, and they had varied advice.
Some of them encouraged the woman to reach out to her friend to find out if she was really cheating.
"Everyone is gossiping about her, clearly she's a close friend of yours, so you'll know by her response whether she is or isn't having an affair," one person pointed out.
Many users agreed that they would not be able to host the event and encouraged the woman to drop out. They also said that she should have an honest conversation with her friend about why she wasn't comfortable doing the event.
"Tell her you're stepping down from bridesmaid and hen planning duty. Do you still even want to attend her wedding? You don't have to!" someone pointed out.
Another said that they would hope that backing out of the role would "raise questions," explaining, "I couldn't be friends with someone cheating regularly especially while planning her own wedding."
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There was some discussion of the woman telling the groom "anonymously."
While the idea was popular with some, one Mumsnetter called the idea "a s--- thing to do," adding, "If you're telling him, then tell him, if you're going to do it anonymously then don't bother at all."
One woman was able to relate to the situation, saying that she went through "this exact situation."
How did she proceed? "I said nothing and carried on and got through it all. Then I started low contact with the couple then full on no contact. Last I heard he found out about all her cheating and stayed with her 🤷♀️"
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