
Sex Pistols' Steve Jones: ‘I like to fart in front of people. You can tell if someone's cool from their reaction'
Is it true you nicked some of your early equipment from David Bowie's trucks outside the Hammersmith Odeon at the last Ziggy Stardust show, in 1973?
There's definitely some truth in that. It wasn't outside in trucks though – it was on the stage! They played two nights, and after the first night they left all the gear up, because they were playing there the next night. I knew the Hammersmith Odeon like the back of my hand, I used to bunk in there all the time. I was like the Phantom of Hammersmith Odeon.
It was about two in the morning. I stole a little minivan and I got in. There was no one there, other than a guy sitting on the fourth or fifth row, asleep – he was snoring. It was dead silent. I tiptoed across the stage, and I nicked some cymbals, the bass player's [amplifier] head – a Sunn amp it was – and some microphones. I got Bowie's microphone with his lipstick on it!
Did you ever fess up to Bowie about this?
I kind of did, on a phone call. He knew I'd done it; he thought it was funny. Actually, I don't think I nicked anything off him, I don't think the microphones were his. The only ones I felt bad for were Woody [drummer, Mick Woodmansey] and [bass player] Trevor Bolder.
I actually did make amends with Woody. He came on my radio show a few years back, and I thought I'd tell him live, when we were on the air, what I did. I was like, 'I've got to make amends to you, Woody, I nicked some of your cymbals. What can I do to make it right?' He goes, 'I don't know; give us a couple of hundred bucks.' I think I gave him $300, so he was well happy.
What album do you always return to?
Oh, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust is always a go-to.
What's the most chaotic thing that's ever happened to you on stage?
There was a time in 1996, when the Sex Pistols played in Milwaukee, a big club which had a ridiculously high stage – it was about 20 foot. Some guy walked on the stage, I don't know how he got through. John [Johnny Rotten, nee John Lydon]'s security Rambo saw him and came running across the stage. He grabbed the guy, the guy hit John, and John fell off the stage, head first. And I thought, that's the end of that. But he got up and carried on!
Punters are raving about Frank Carter as the new singer of the Pistols. How does it feel playing these old songs with a new frontman?
It's great, it's refreshing. He's younger – well, he's 40. I'll be 70 this year! But he's got bundles of energy, and he's great with an audience. He's not trying to be Johnny Rotten. People love it. My philosophy is, don't play more than an hour and 15, an hour and 30, max. Whenever I go to a concert, I'm not interested in seeing a band for three hours. I guess some artists think the crowd's getting their money's worth, but for me, I'm bored after an hour or so.
We often ask people who they would like to play them in a biopic. You've already had one! Did you enjoy Toby Wallace's portrayal of you in Pistol?
I love Toby, he's great. He came out [to Los Angeles] and he'd stare at me for a long time, trying to pick up my mannerisms. He had to get someone to help him with his speech, obviously, because he's got the Australian accent. Sometimes he slipped up a little bit, but I thought he did pretty good.
The one thing that bugged me was this scene where they go on about my guitar – 'Oh, it's like Excalibur!' – but they couldn't even find one close to mine. The one they used looked like it was from Woolworths. It must have cost a tenner. I would gladly have lent them one of mine.
You know a lot of people. Who's the most famous person in your phone?
I do know many famous people, but this is a great story. When I was doing Indie 103.1, I ran into Cliff Richard. I said do you want to come on the show, have a larf? And he said OK. He came down, brought his guitars, and I couldn't get him to shut up. He went through all the old classic songs. He's such a pro. They don't make 'em like him any more.
Anyway, he left, I had his number, and funnily enough he called me on my landline when we got accepted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He left a message and he just started singing, 'Congratulations! And jubilations!' It was the funniest thing ever.
Besides Cliff, you've hosted everyone from Judas Priest to Brian Wilson on your show. Who was your most chaotic guest?
I would say Jerry Lee Lewis. He was really ornery and prickly. I think I said, 'What was it like when you went to England?' And I don't think he actually got to tour in England – he got banned because he was married to his cousin, who was underage. And he just turned on me: 'I don't wanna talk about that!' And there was silence. I didn't know what to do, I started to panic.
In the late 80s you played on a Bob Dylan song, Sally Sue Brown. How was Bob in those days?
It was bizarre. I met him a couple of weeks prior to him asking me to put a band together out at some party. I had long hair and was on my Harley with no helmet, and he was gravitating towards me. Someone must have told him I was in the Sex Pistols. We hung out for a bit, and I got a call two weeks later, can you put a band together, and we'll do a session down at Sunset Sound [studios].
So, I did. Paul Simonen [ex-the Clash] happened to be in town at that time. I got the drummer from Pat Benatar's band, the keyboard player was playing with Rod Stewart. We ended up on that song, which is a cover. We kind of gelled on that one.
What song do you want played at your funeral?
That's a funny one. I guess some people who are narcissists would already be thinking of this stuff, right? I'm not as narcissistic as a lot of people I know, but I've learned over many years of being sober that it ain't all about me. I don't know, that's a miserable question. It just tells you you're gonna die one day.
Do you have a party trick?
I like to fart in front of people. You can tell if someone's cool or not from their reaction. I farted in front of Lisa Marie Presley once. She was sitting outside Starbucks and I was going in, and I just let one rip. She had this look on her face of disgust. I just carried on walking into Starbucks. Is that bad?
The Sex Pistols are touring Australia 5 -11 April; see here for dates.

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