Man Treats Grandma 'Like a Queen,' But Wife 'Like an Afterthought.' She's Finally Had Enough
A woman on Reddit says she's had it with her husband's grandma
In an anonymous post, she writes that her husband's personality completely changes when his grandmother is around
Now, she's asking the internet for adviceA woman says her husband "turns into a spoiled, doting man-child every time his grandma visits" — and she's had enough.
In a since-deleted Reddit post, she writes, "My husband treats his grandma like a queen and me like an afterthought every time she visits. I need to know if anyone else has dealt with this kind of dynamic because it's seriously making me question everything."
The woman says her husband "transforms into a totally different person" — and "not in a good way" — every time his grandmother comes to town.
"He treats her like royalty: takes her everywhere, laughs at her jokes, gets excited to run errands with her, and acts like she's the most important person in his life," she explains.
"Meanwhile? I'm over here working full-time, taking care of the house, running to the store after work, handling all the responsibilities, and somehow I'm still the one being judged and criticized," she continues.
The woman goes on to write that her husband's grandma is "obsessed with controlling the household."
"I recently bought a brand new mattress for the guest room with my own money. And the first thing she says? 'You better not let the cats up there.' Not 'thank you' or 'wow, that's thoughtful.' Just immediate control and judgment," she writes.
The grandma also "judges" the woman for having indoor cats and "constantly makes snide remarks about people and their pets."
Even when she leaves, her aura is ever-present.
"Her scent lingers in the house spiritually and literally," the woman writes. "Not even being dramatic here. It's this strong, musty scent that clings to the walls and air, and I can tell instantly when she's been in my room or bathroom. I've tried cleansing, sprays, opening windows. Doesn't help."
Elsewhere in the post, the woman writes that the grandma "enables" her husband's laziness, acting like she should be making dinner and "tending to him."
However, it's not just the grandma who's the problem, as her husband also plays a role in her discontent.
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"He worships the ground she walks on, but acts annoyed when I need attention. She wants to go out? He's thrilled. I want a date night or to go somewhere together? He's suddenly 'tired' or in a mood," she explains. "I often have to be the one to plan things and even then, he doesn't act like he wants to be there."
"I feel like I'm the outsider in my own home, while they live in their little codependent bubble," she continues.
In ending her post, she notes that she is "exhausted" and "resentful," now "wondering if this enmeshed dynamic is a major red flag."
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Reddit users weighed in, with one writing, "Your husband is pathetic. There. I said it. He can treat his grandmother like a queen all he wants, but he needs to know that he can't do that at your expense."
"It sounds like you two need couples counseling and if he refuses think about what you want in life," another adds. "Also if the house is yours and was yours before marriage then tell husband that granny isn't welcome and that he can go stay with his family to see her."
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