Katisha's Love Is Blind decision doesn't make her a villain

Metro

2 days ago

As soon as we saw Katisha wince upon hearing Demola's speaking voice on their final pod date, I knew we were in for some trouble.
Netflix's premier dating show Love is Blind returned for a second run of its UK series last week, introducing 30 single men and women who date in solo rooms – pods – without seeing each other, before getting engaged and meeting for the first time.
Immediately, Scottish nanny and makeup artist Katisha was one of this season's standouts, as she declared her hopes of finding a genuine gentleman after a history of bad connections.
'My usual type's not working for me, so I'm not gonna go with that!' she laughed. 'I'm looking for the love story now; my Mr Darcy.'
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Many had hoped that she'd find it with Demola, a financial analyst from Romford.
'I'm not trying to just settle,' he explained during their first meeting. 'I want to make sure that the person I am with is my soulmate and I can love her up forever, honestly.'
But Katisha's ultimate decision – accepting the proposal of another man – has been met with fierce opposition.
Instead of accepting a 31-year-old woman can make up her own mind about romantic partners, viewers have been questioning her sanity and painting her as some sort of villain for picking one man over another.
As a Love Is Blind devotee, I can understand the disappointment.
In several scenes, we watched as Demola and Katisha bonded over their love for their grandmothers, got vulnerable about their childhoods and hypothesised about a loving future together. 'Ahh,' I thought, watching wistfully, 'Surely nothing can get in the way of this obviously perfect match?'
But, as is par for the course in this franchise, there was a spanner in the works in the form of another potential partner: Javen.
The London-based health coach was also vying for Katisha's affections, albeit in a much more laidback manner.
'Javen is a cool guy, I guess more like my usual type,' Katisha explained, eyes dreamy.
Uh oh.
Over the course of their dates, Javen was more cautious in expressing his interest in Katisha, and even claimed that she'd have to propose to him if they were to progress past the pods – outrageous in the admittedly traditional Love is Blind universe.
'If you want a woman, you've gotta pursue her however you wanna do it – that's the game,' he opined to-camera.
In terms of ideal husband material, Demola seemed to be the clear choice, and after he shared a heartfelt poem he'd written for Katisha, declaring how he'd make her feel valued throughout their relationship, it seemed like a done deal.
Katisha told him that she wasn't going to change her mind on her choice: she wanted him, and not her other connection, Javen, and was going to tell him so immediately afterwards.
Unfortunately, when we saw Katisha's face fall at being paired with Demola for a chat the next day, we could all tell she was about to make the choice no-one wanted to see. Katisha dumped Demola, and after a flirty conversation with Javen, they got engaged.
Unsurprisingly, social media has been ablaze with takes on Katisha's choice, with many declaring their disappointment at her letting Demola go. 'Demola was the real one sis,' one dismayed viewer commented, while another simply wrote, 'WHY?!'
Elsewhere, some have taken their reactions to more biting extremes.
'You get what you deserve Katisha,' wrote one person on X, while another declared her to be lacking in self-esteem and 'so so stupid' for her choice in fiancé.
Although I was also wailing at my TV at her decision, I want us all to take a breath and extend some grace to Katisha. Though it's not the fairytale that we imagined, it was her choice to make – and whether we like it or not, we should be able to respect it.
With previous stars of Love is Blind speaking out about how responses from the public have harmed their mental health, it's worth thinking twice about the messages we put out into the internet.
Clearly anticipating that her actions would ruffle some feathers, Katisha posted a PSA on Instagram ahead of the series' launch asking people to be 'mindful' in their responses.
'As much as this is entertaining and it is a TV show, this is still very much our lives!' she wrote. 'It takes big balls to do something like this and I take my hats off to myself and all my cast mates for even just showing up.'
And I think it's essential we consider this as we continue the season. Although it's all well and good us judging from the sofa, the Love is Blind pods is an alien environment – there's no telling how you'd react to certain stimuli until you're in that situation.
Though Katisha may have said she wanted a change in type for her future, she was in a strange experiment, encouraged to seek a partner for the rest of her life in a matter of days – surely we can see why she'd be lured into something that feels familiar rather than something else she feared was too good to be true?
Making a damning indictment of her intelligence and level of self-worth as a result of her choice feels hasty and unkind. Perhaps the snarkiest of our takes can reside inside a WhatsApp group chat, where they have no chance of getting back to the person they're about?
Of course, as viewers, we only get a small snippet of all the contestants' moments in the pods – for all we know, Javen showed a more gentlemanly, considerate and swoonworthy side that we didn't see.
And there's also that dating je ne sais quoi that anyone outside the couple simply won't understand; when Katisha and Javen met in person, they had physical chemistry that left both parties with grins from ear to ear.
Rather than criticising Katisha, isn't it worth giving her the benefit of the doubt and wishing her the best? More Trending
As lovely as Demola appeared, it's probably a good thing that Katisha didn't continue a relationship that her heart wasn't completely in – this way, Demola can find the person who'll fully reciprocate his enthusiasm in his own time.
As the series continues, we can only wait to see whether Javen and Katisha end up being the surprise success story of the year, beating many of our expectations.
We've all made some dating decisions that don't make sense, but few have had the world's eyes on them as they make them.
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Let's extend the people in this love triangle some grace and hope that everyone leaves having learnt something important, if not with rings on their fingers.
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