Bride Lies to Best Friend About Wedding Date to Avoid Inviting Her, 'Betrayal' Puts 25-Year Friendship at Risk
The bride told the woman that nothing was "finalized," but the advice seeker knows that's not true because she found her wedding website
"I felt hurt, confused and dismissed," she wroteA woman says she feels betrayed by her bride-to-be friend.
In an anonymous submission to Dear Abby, an advice column written by Abigail Van Buren, a woman shared that her friend is throwing a wedding but is lying to her about it. Now, the advice seeker is wondering if she's "overreacting" or if it's the right decision to end her long-term friendship over not being invited to the celebration.
"The dishonesty and secrecy feel like a betrayal after everything we've shared over the past 25 years," the woman wrote. "Being excluded from such a major life event and then lied to about it feels like the final straw."
Until now, the woman's friendship has "meant the world" to her.
When the bride announced that she married someone after only a few months of dating, her friend was "surprised" but "respected her decision and was genuinely happy for her." The newlywed woman told her that she and her partner were planning a wedding to celebrate their union with friends and family, and "assured" her that once they set a date, they would let her know because they "wanted [her] there."
A few weeks after their conversation, the advice seeker "accidentally" stumbled upon the bride's wedding website, which contradicted everything she had told her.
"Not only had a date been chosen, but there is also a wedding website — clearly showing the event was planned and confirmed," the woman said. "I was not invited."
The woman "gently" confronted her friend about her wedding, but she "flat-out denied that anything had been finalized."
"I felt hurt, confused and dismissed," she said.
She asked: "Is there any coming back from this kind of hurt? Or is it time to accept that our relationship is over?"
In response, Abby was sympathetic toward the poster. She validated her feelings by saying she was "not overreacting," and argued that it was completely understandable for her to feel "hurt" after someone she considered a close friend lied to her face.
"It appears your friend's 'little white lie' turned into a whopper," Abby replied.
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Abby couldn't speculate as to why the advice seeker was left off the wedding guest list because she doesn't personally know the bride or their friendship history. However, she said it was wrong for the bride not to provide an explanation. Now, their trust has been broken and it's up for the woman to determine whether or not their bond can be repaired.
"She chose to lie instead of level with you," Abby concluded her response. "Whether this should end your long relationship is up to you. Certainly, you need to rethink anything she tells you in the future, if there even is a future."
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