JESSICA BOULTON: Only one BBC icon's been UNFAIRLY 'cancelled' this week - and it's not John Torode
Jessica Boulton works on the Mirror's features desk, specialising in celebrity features and interviews. She also writes a weekly observational comedy column Jess Saying, which runs each Saturday. In addition, she oversees the entertainment pages, helps co-ordinate the Pride of Britain coverage and newsletter and guest edits The Diary. Jessica joined The Mirror's sister paper The People in 2006, and has since worked on the Sunday Mirror and Now magazine. Most likely to be found raving about The Oscars, BAFTAs, Netflix, Friends or Star Wars.
Daily Mirror Columnist Jessica Boulton brings you Jess Saying, her wry, witty and slightly whimsical take on the heroes and villains, winners and losers and the outright outrageous showbiz shenanigans keeping us amused this week. So....where better to start than....
JUSTICE FOR BBC ICON MONDAY
I've always considered myself to be woke. I'm left-wing, open-minded and look good in red (in the UK, definitely not in the US). I'd fully support trigger warnings on Bambi and The Lion King. And I'd argue there should be one on Titanic (for 'scenes of disturbing door hoggery'). But this week I'm afraid to say, even I think the woke world has gone too far. For a true BBC icon has outrageously and undeservedly been cancelled. It's a sad, sad state of affairs after 30 years of excellence. But it's a sign of the times: one day everyone loves you and the next...you're persona non grata, written off as a bad fit for the Gen Zs of today (who don't watch TV anyway, so why are we pandering?). So which iconic BBC veteran has been tragically stripped of work this week? Clue: they first appeared in 1995 – and won millions of fans overnight. Yes, you've guessed it. There's only one BBC star I'm weeping for: Mr Darcy. Well, his Wet White Shirt, to be precise.
For three decades, the sterling performance of Colin Firth's infamous Pride and Prejudice shirt has never been equalled. But its outstanding contribution to entertainment has now been called into question – over fears it's been objectifying men. Yup. It's true. Some buttoned-up bores at Netflix are currently debating what'll make the cut and what won't in their upcoming P&P remake.
Considering Slow Horses' Jack Lowden is the new Darcy (alongside The Crown's Emma Corrin as Lizzie Bennet), I was FERVENTLY in support of the decision to completely remove the Wet White Shirt, at first.
But then I realised I'd got the wrong end of the stick...I'm only teasing of course. But I do have two little points I'd like to flag to people's attention:
POINT 1. What else would Netflix need to change to fit a more '2025-friendly' adaptation? Jane's famous first line definitely loses a certain something after my woke rewrite:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged – but not necessarily accepted as we each have our 'own truth' – that a single man, sorry, dependent-free gender-neutral individual, in possession of a 'good fortune' (aka, a disproportionate amount of wealth thanks to genetic privilege and the unjust dominance of patriarchy), must be – although is under no obligation to be and will face no judgment if they are not – in want of a wife..... or a loving relationship that equally fulfils the needs of both you and your consenting partner/partners, but does not necessarily adhere to any societal expectations.'
NAKED AMBITION TUESDAY
The Primetime Emmy nominations are finally in! Adolescence was the UK's biggest contender this year – with nods including Best Actor for Stephen Graham and Best Supporting for 15-year-old Owen Cooper (I'd argue it should be reversed).
Meanwhile, leading the way with a mindblowing 27 noms was Apple's truly genius Severance – a drama in which people clock off at 5pm and all memory of work from that day is completely wiped. (You can decide for yourselves if that's a good thing or not.)
The most delightful Emmy news of all? Nobody Wants This, with my all-time celeb faves Adam Brody and Kristen Bell, landed nods for best comedy series, actor and actress. It was an achievement Kristen's hubby Dax Shepard immediately celebrated with this pic – of Kristen's naked yoga workout.
I'm not married, so maybe I'm wrong... But should Dax really have gone so very public with his congratulations? A great big bear bare hug may have been the better choice.
END OF TORODE WEDNESDAY
Talking of draaaaaama and cancellations… it was all going off the boil at MasterChef this week. Just days after Gregg Wallace was given the heave-ho after vowing to fight the dozens of allegations against him, his co-star John Torode was ALSO left with egg on his face. Torode was accused of making a racial slur – said to be ' the worst word possible' – in a social setting some years ago. Torode denied it. But it left Auntie with a sour taste, so he was sent packing with a P45 as well.
The poor BBC now has an entire as-yet-unreleased pre-recorded series of MasterChef with not one but TWO disgraced hosts. That's got to be tough to swallow. It also explains the reasoning behind one of its latest new hires. For even wholesome Blue Peter has had its share of scandalous stars...
So when faced with finding its latest prestigious presenter, the Beeb hired someone who's been nothing but a safe pair of hands their whole career. Some might even go as far to say he's the perfect corporate puppet..... (see below).
FISHING FOR INSULTS? THURSDAY
Gregg and John might be in for a grilling over their alleged behaviour, but another under-fire celeb, Sacha Baron Cohen, was probably feeling a little, um, roasted this week. Yes, his actress ex-wife Isla Fisher has not had the most amicable of splits with Da Ali G and Borat actor. So some social media users took her quip on Instagram to be a tiny dig at his expense (literally). The Confessions Of A Shopaholic star wrote: 'For all the men who say 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. 'Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
'Because women realise it's not worth buying an entire pig… just to get a little sausage.' No porkies there! I'd rather bring home the bacon alone than be stuck with a man who's the literal wurst. So, bravo, Isla! That took proper chops.
FACING FACTS FRIDAY
You can't make this one up. And to be fair, whatever you say about Katie Price, at least she can take the mickey out of herself. Which is why she's made a startling admission this week. Apparently Katie was travelling and got pulled over by security at passport control – because she's had so many trips under the knife, the scanners couldn't recognise her passport photo. Yes, Katie might have been accused of being two-faced in the past, but, as she'll admit herself, she's been through at least 10 of them now. On the upside, it's something to add to her CV next time she's bankrupt. After all, everyone wants their staff to multi-faceted nowadays.
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
She's always been a woman with Klass. So it's good to see Myleene hasn't let her newly-award MBE go to her head. Ahem.
Yes, Myleene was presented the honour this week after her tireless charity work, including raising the awareness of the emotional toll of miscarriage. But it looks like the Hear'Say singer might be taking the honour a little too literally.
For the morning after receiving the medal - alongside fellow honouree Leona Lewis OBE - Myleene posted this bathtime snap.
Umm….It looks like you've got a little something in your hair, Myleene. To be fair, it could have been worse. She could have posted a snap of her in her tiara…. sitting on the throne.
JESS A QUICKIE:
Myleene's not the only one having some bathroom fun. Charlotte Crosby decided to promote her new fiction tome by sitting in a bath of books. It makes sense: she's always swimming with novel ideas.* * Sorry I couldn't help myself
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an hour ago
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The tragedy (and all great British sitcoms need a touch of something tragic) comes from the lower rungs of showbiz, a source of imagined desperation. Les Dennis lays his personal and professional woes bare (while also baring his backside) and Shaun Williamson – best known as Barry off EastEnders – plays himself as a down-on-his-luck sad-sack. He's so unable to shake the EastEnders image that even his agent, Darren, calls him Barry and describes him as having 'an undercurrent of tragedy'. Looking back, Gervais remembers an old sketch idea that now feels like a precursor to Extras. It was a Braveheart-like scene, with a Mel Gibson-like star, in which a camera would pan across the battle lines until one extra suddenly asked, 'What time's lunch?' 'Imagine being at the bottom of the pile and ruining it,' says Gervais. 'That was the funny seed.' 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They were just extras in the show. At some point, we thought if we got them all the way to the set, it seems silly to squander them. We started to think about how they could interact with the characters.' It wasn't a new idea. The Larry Sanders Show and Curb Your Enthusiasm had featured Hollywood stars playing fictionalised versions of themselves. In Extras, the celebrities are there to make Andy squirm under the backstage power dynamic and to hold up the cracked mirror of fame – they reveal themselves as out-of-touch with reality, or as massively out-of-step with their public persona. 'Famous people behaving badly' Ben Stiller turns his hand from comedy acting to directing a war drama. But he's a tyrant, threatening to shoot a child actor's mum in the face and screaming about Meet the Fockers' box office take. 'When I sent Ben Stiller the rough idea, he said, 'You've tapped into my inner soul,'' says Gervais, laughing. In another episode, Kate Winslet plays herself as a foul-mouthed nun in a Second World War film. She dishes out advice on dirty phone calls and admits that she's only doing a Holocaust drama for an Oscar. 'And then she wins an Oscar for a Holocaust film!' says Gervais, in reference to The Reader (2008). As smart as Extras is – tinkering with multiple levels of the fourth wall and playing out the John Updike quote that 'celebrity is a mask that eats into the face' – Gervais agrees there was some childish glee in getting their A-listers to say and do outrageous things. 'It was famous people behaving badly,' Gervais says. 'That's what it could have been called.' 'The more that these people said that they were interested, the more it became a game of what would be the most unpleasant or funniest version of themselves – the one that was most incongruous with their public image,' says Merchant. He adds: 'Normally, we'd get a tentative yes and we'd write a script with them in mind to see if they were happy. They almost all were. I think Kate Winslet had a couple of lines that were particularly offensive that she wouldn't say, but other than that she was game for it. They were just game for a laugh. There was very little push-back. It was surprisingly easy.' A personal favourite from the first series is Patrick Stewart, who begins by bellowing out a speech from The Tempest then tells Andy about a script he's written himself, in which he controls the world with the power of his mind – a power he mostly uses for making ladies' clothes fall off. ('Even before she can get her knickers back on, I've seen everything ... I've seen it all.') 'One of the most dignified Shakespearian actors in the world talking about knickers,' sniggers Gervais. Another highlight is Ross Kemp, who lies about feats of hard-nuttery ('I headbutted a horse once') and boasts he could batter Vinnie Jones – until Vinnie turns up to show him what being hard is all about. There's a touch of melancholy to Kemp – a wounded, lip-quivering Billy no-mates. 'He was a little bit nervous,' says Gervais. 'He did talk about portraying himself and going too far. He said, 'Well, it's OK if you're Sam Jackson!' He was very conscious and worried about perception. But he still did it!' Les Dennis goes close-to-the-bone The celeb who played the riskiest version of themself was Les Dennis. The episode is daringly close-to-the-bone, portraying the former Family Fortunes host as a washed-up has-been who – between panto performances – showers a much-younger girlfriend with £50 notes and calls up Heat magazine to report celebrity sightings of, well, himself. The lowest moment comes when Les discovers his girlfriend is cheating. He slumps into his dressing room chair, traumatised and naked. Gervais rates it as the best episode. 'It was the one where we sailed very close to the wind as to the public perception of him,' says Gervais. 'As opposed to playing against type or making something up.' 'It was a way of exploring how celebrity works,' says Merchant. 'It chews you up and spits you out.' It came after Dennis's real-life divorce from Amanda Holden and a maudlin stint on Celebrity Big Brother that made him a tabloid target. One headline read, 'Is this the most pathetic man in Britain?' 'My agent called to say Ricky Gervais wants you to call him,' says Dennis. 'I thought, 'What? Why would Ricky Gervais want me to call him?' It wasn't long after Big Brother. The phone wasn't exactly ringing at the time. Ricky asked me if I wanted to play a 'twisted, demented' version of myself.' Dennis visited their office to talk about the episode. 'They said, 'How far can we go?' and I said, 'Go as far as you like!' On the way out, Ricky said, 'How do you feel about the arse shot?' I said, 'What?' He said, 'You'll be naked in the dressing room. Do you want a double?' I said, 'No I'll do it myself.'' When they shot the scene, he wore nothing but a cricket box. 'Ricky said, 'I'm not having Les's offal in my face! I want him to wear something!'' Dennis recalls, laughing. 'There were tea and biscuits around and Ricky picked up the ginger nuts.' Dennis's friends were concerned about him taking the role – they were suspicious that it might be a Brass Eye-type set-up – but Dennis knew he had to do it. 'At the time I was known as 'Les Miserables,'' he says. 'I came out of the Big Brother house and had a lot of stuff going on. People thought I was grumpy, but I just didn't like being invaded by the press. I thought, just go for it and show you've got a sense of humour about all this stuff that's being written.' Dennis came up with lines to ridicule himself even more. For one climactic scene – in bed with a woman he's just pulled – Dennis suggested blurting out his Family Fortunes catchphrase: 'If it's up there, I'll give you the money me-self.' Dennis remembers that Gervais was laughing so much filming the scene that Merchant ordered him off set. 'He said, 'Ricky, you've ruined the take, you've laughed over the dialogue, you've got to go out,'' says Dennis. 'He got thrown out of the room by Stephen.' The role changed the public perception of Dennis and boosted his theatre career. 'They helped me reinvent myself,' he says. Orlando Bloom told us to 'go harder' Dennis wasn't the only celeb insisting they go more extreme. Orlando Bloom told Gervais and Merchant to 'go harder' when he's trying to prove he's a bigger heartthrob than Johnny Depp. 'Orlando Bloom said, 'Go harder, let me go after Johnny Depp harder, make it worse!'' says Gervais. 'Willy Wonka? Johnny w-----r! ' says Bloom, trying to impress Maggie on the set of a courtroom drama. In other ridiculous celebrity appearances, Daniel Radcliffe plays himself as a randy teenager and accidentally flicks an unravelled condom onto Dame Diana Rigg's head. Gervais had to delicately position the condom on Rigg's head himself. 'When Daniel Radcliffe flicks it, we had to get it to land,' says Gervais. 'So, at one point I was putting it over her eye a little bit. I was saying, 'Can you see? Is that alright?' She said, 'Yeah. That's alright.' And I just thought, that's a weird day at work.' Elsewhere, they cast George Michael as a kebab-chomping, joint-smoking troublemaker. The much-treasured singer uses his community service lunch break to scout Hampstead Heath for sexual encounters. 'What a performer,' says Gervais. 'Just willing to be cottaging, smoking a joint, eating a kebab … He'd just done that community service, so we had him in trouble with the police.' In the episode, George is in trouble for fly-tipping a fridge freezer with Annie Lennox. Sting grassed them up to the council. 'Because he's a f----er do-gooder,' says George. Gervais and Merchant were, of course, the new darlings of British comedy at the time. Stars wanted to be involved. 'We had a blank cheque of kudos that we could cash-in,' says Merchant. 'Ronnie Corbett said his grandchildren told him, 'You've got to do this,'' says Gervais. 'And then we've got him in the toilets at the Baftas taking coke! It's mad what they were willing to say and do.' 'Two celebrities turned us down' Gervais and Merchant can only remember two celebs who turned them down. One was Syd Little of Little and Large. 'He read the script and thought it was too much, the swearing or whatever. He was an old family entertainer,' says Gervais. The other was Orville the Duck ventriloquist Keith Harris, who thought the show was some kind of wind-up. 'But I think Ian McKellen said he thought it was a wind-up,' says Gervais. Looking back now, do Gervais and Merchant have favourite celebrity appearances? For Merchant, it's the one and only Robert De Niro, who appears briefly with Merchant in series two. 'We were making the show and kept on referring to Robert De Niro without knowing if he was going to do it,' says Merchant. 'Finally, he gave us an hour. Because of my giant height [6ft 7in] and his relatively normal human size, there's a wide shot where I look three times as big as him – because of the weird perspective. There were conspiracy theories that we were never in the same room. I was like, 'Are you kidding me?! We worked so hard to get me in the same room!'' Merchant adds: 'Ricky was behind the camera and gave me a couple of notes. Robert De Niro said, 'Any notes for me?' We just started laughing! ' Yeah, we're giving you notes!'' Gervais chooses Bowie. 'Working with my hero David Bowie – writing a song with my hero David Bowie – is off the charts.' In the episode, Bowie listens to Andy's complaints about the sitcom, at which point Bowie bursts into his song. Gervais admits it's a bit surreal in contrast to other celebs. 'You meet David Bowie and then he writes a song!' says Gervais. 'It's almost like cheating, that. But it was well done and I think we were allowed. If you've got David Bowie for the day and he's written a song, he's allowed to sing it!' Twenty years on, Gervais is still amused by the idea that their A-listers were – to quote When the Whistle Blows – very much up for having a laugh. 'Surprising,' Gervais says. 'Just surprising that they said yes and then went along with it.'
