Woman Offers to Take Niece and Nephews on Vacation, but Refuses to Take Brother's ‘Spoiled' Youngest Child

Yahoo

2 days ago

What began as a way to support her brother's three older children has grown into a quiet dilemma: how does one stay fair in a family where not everyone has been treated the same?NEED TO KNOW
An aunt, who is originally from the Midwest but currently lives overseas, has been helping out her brother with his three older children for years
She and her wife are more than happy to help, given the kids' mother is out of the picture and their stepmom doesn't consider them her own children
The aunt took to Reddit looking for advice after her brother scolded her for proposing they take only three of his children on vacation, leaving his youngest behindIn families where divorce, remarriage, and blended households intertwine, decisions that may seem simple – like planning a vacation – can become emotional minefields.
That's what one woman is facing after deciding to exclude her brother Jason's youngest child from a planned family trip.
The woman, who shared her story anonymously on Reddit, has supported her brother's three older children, ages 12 to 19, from a previous marriage for years.
After Jason's divorce from his first wife, he eventually gained full custody of the kids. When she left town, the children moved in with him and his new partner, Jenny.
Initially, Jenny seemed like a welcome change to the family. 'She was kind, had a good job, and was well-educated. I thought, much better match,' the aunt writes.
But after having a child of her own with Jason, Jenny "completely changed." She quit her job and focused solely on raising the baby. 'She declared she was only a SAHM to HER kid,' the aunt reveals.
That shift, she claims, created a clear divide. 'Jason, Jenny, and [the youngest] operate as a family unit, going to dinners, events, even vacations and leaving the older three kids at home," she explains.
"I have always thought this was disgusting and voiced my opinion about it, but Jason just said his divorce broke him emotionally and he will do anything possible to keep Jenny happy so that their marriage works out," the Redditor writes.
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Jason, she adds, works over 70 hours a week to support them, while Jenny controls the finances and offers little involvement in parenting the older children.
From overseas, the aunt and her wife have often stepped in to support Jason's children. They bought the kids a used car, helped cover driving costs, and listed them as the "sole beneficiaries" in their will after learning that Jason and Jenny were planning to leave nearly "everything" to their youngest, only giving the older three "the bare minimum amount."
They also started taking the trio on annual trips within the United States, as Jenny and Jason only take their youngest on vacations, typically funded by Jenny's parents.
'They're very outdoorsy kids so they've had a blast every year,' she says of the older three kids, noting that the trips are "nothing fancy" but still fun.
This year, one of the older teens secured a fall internship, so the usual summer trip was rescheduled. When Jason found out, he asked that his youngest child – the one he shares with Jenny – be included.
But the aunt resisted. 'I feel so bad saying this about a child, but [she] is a HUGE brat, spoiled, mean, and constantly bragging about the things she gets that her siblings don't," the poster writes.
She says the tween "throws toddler-level tantrums" if she doesn't get more than everyone else during holidays, once told the poster and her wife they were "going to hell," makes snide comments about her half-siblings' mom and is a "total slob" since "Jenny waits on her hand and foot."
"I feel bad saying all this, I hope when she grows up she grows out of it. But there is no way I'd want to take her on a vacation," she explains.
She acknowledges that some of this may stem from the child's environment, but said she's not comfortable adding that dynamic to the trip.
Jason proposed that Jenny or their mother could come along to help manage the group, but the aunt declined both suggestions. 'Love [my mom] but she's getting a freaking HIP REPLACEMENT next month and does NOT want to go,' the Reddit user writes.
After she told Jenny and Jason that she didn't want to bring their youngest on vacation, the parents "decided to go the route of shaming us online."
While their loved ones are still on their side, the poster and her wife now question if they are in the wrong.
"My wife came to me the other day and basically said, 'Are we even better than Jenny if we're favoring some kids over another just because we don't like their mom?'" she recalls.
That gave her pause. 'Before we were evening things out, but now we're obviously favoring the oldest,' she admits.
Now, the Reddit user faces some difficult questions with no clear answer: Is it right to prioritize certain children in a family over others? Or should all kids be treated the same, even if the relationship isn't equal?
Read the original article on People
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